Doofus
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I turned off my boyfriend's Xbox while he was playing because I wanted to talk to him about getting more serious with our relationship. As I did so, he said, "That's not the only thing you just turned off" and promptly broke up with me. FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML
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Top comments
Mattsta123 5
Finally a good use for the bong water
ICastillo 25
Hey, at least he tried to put it out, but your boyfriend sounds like an idiot.
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Comments (90)
williamwheat37 0
YDI for dating a dude that does drugs
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
How insanely close-minded.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Should she date someone who doesn't use any medication? We all do drugs, like prescription drugs and over the counter drugs. Put "illegal" in front of drugs next time to clarify your comment.
MissMae93 23
"Dating a dude that does drugs"? My boyfriend has a cup of coffee (which has caffeine in it - a drug) so should I break up with him? Your logic is terrible.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
44 - That doesn't justify it either. I'm sorry, but people seem to forget that alcohol used to be illegal, and many people can't imagine life without it. A drug's legal status should be irrelevant to the user's morality.
THE_A_TEEN 28
I was talking about illegal drugs in general (like crack, LSD, meth, economytc.) I rather not involve weed or else a blood-thirsty pack of stoners would come and kill me.
THE_A_TEEN 28
*etc. Damn, I hate auto-correct.
alycion 39
Some people do actually use it for medicinal reasons. It's a lot less harsh then narcotic pain killers on the system.
Calyx_fml 22
Kary mullis The guy who invented gene sequencing thought of the idea on an LSD trip. Steve Jobs tripped too. A drugs legal state only indicates it's political status not its actual value or danger.
reddudeover 2
No rational people will inform you that you can't legislate morality and that ALL drugs should be legal.
alycion 39
And let's not forget, more and more places are legalizing it's use. So a blanket statement of illegal drugs for pot doesn't exactly hold true. I'm not familiar with the laws where op is, and I doubt most of the ones jumping on the omg it's illegal bandwagon are either.
IOmnomHard 10
I like how whenever someone posts an FML about cigarettes, people can't wait to hit YDI and write a nasty comment. All drugs are bad. Saying they're bad isn't close minded. It's the truth, whether it's coffee, weed, alcohol, cigarettes, or meth. Some impact you financially, some physically, mentally. Whatever. Now come thumb me down, stoners.
reddudeover 2
109 - Well next time you get sick don't take any bad mean ole drug go roll in the mud.
charvisioku 22
Actually, you're also wrong, 109. "All drugs are bad" is quite a stupid statement. Are pharmaceutical drugs "bad"? And weed is not all bad either. My boyfriend has fibro mialga, early onset arthiritis and hypermobility disorder. He's allergic to most painkillers, bar some opiates and ibuprofen. You know what he uses to ease his borderline unbearable pain? Weed. It's used medicinally in a lot of cases. So think before you start spouting stupid, close-minded statements. Jeesh, some people.
Keliosan 6
I wouldn't be worried about that unless you're a bag of cheetos or a box of cereal...
Keliosan 6
Your boyfriend has a medical reason to smoke weed, good for him. All drugs are bad because they all have side effects. Just because some benefits outweigh the risks doesn't mean that its 100% perfect. Also, everyone knows when people say "all drugs are bad" they aren't talking about medicines, so please just keep the bullshit about that to yourself. For the stoners out there that take offense to every bad word that is in the same paragraph as the word weed, get over yourselves. If you aren't an irresponsible lazy stupid loser then why are you offended when say shit like that? Letting generalized statements offend you when they don't apply to you is pointless. If you are a irresponsible lazy stupid loser stoner, and you had the attention span for all that good job!
alycion 39
135 I have to use it for that too. I have fibro and a mystery illness that mimics ms. Vicodin, barbiturates, you name it has been thrown at me. Hell one of the prescriptions caused my stomach to bleed. Most of the time I use it for pain management I don't need to get stoned. It's the only thing that controls the nausea that comes with whatever I have. I figure a hit here and there is better then not eating for days. I do know some recreational users who are very productive as well. I just know before I started using it for pain management I had to use a walker and be carried. I'm in my mid 30s. A few weeks later I was actually able to run for the first time in years. Personally if I didn't have these health issues I wouldn't touch the stuff. I don't drink either. But I have no issues with people who do.
reddudeover 2
143 - I don't even smoke weed and I get offended, because it's often MISINFORMATION and flat out lies. No people need to STOP stereyotyping, should all black people not be offended because a racist or someone that generalizes us is really only talking about the ones it applies to?
PandaPandamoneum 0
You are so extremely closeminded, it's stunning. I use weed for my knees. Without the occasional release from pain, I wouldn't be up and about. Weed isnt bad. What about all the cancer patients that put it to good use? You think they are bad?
IOmnomHard 10
Puh-*******-lease. stop being smart asses. I'm not talking medical usage of marijuana, or medical drugs. I'm talking recreational drugs. You're telling me that EVERYONE who smokes marijuana is doing it because they have glaucoma or other medical issues? No. they don't. Stoners are just bored and REALLY could use another great depression to straighten out their lives., let's see how important expensive recreational drugs are to people when you're standing in line waiting for a piece of bread and a cup of soup with a hundred other people, because you can't even afford to feed yourself in hard times, let alone go light up somewhere.
jaystreet46 4
Ok so next time you, or even better yet, a loved one of yours, gets a nasty infection, don't take antibiotics. Because ALL DRUGS ARE BAD, right? Dumbass
dominic1221 6
You're comparing medication used to treat diseases and save lives to drugs mainly used for recreational highs (at least by most of the weed-smokers on FML)? ****, this was already said in the comment right above you, dumbass.
JackSteely 8
Next time, run to the toilet, put your head in it and flush. Works just fine for me when my hair catches fire.
williamcarter93 13
How much does your hair burn?
dmac843 2
That's what happens when you date a stoner.
br0ccoli 15
Marijuana: Making women smelly & unattractive one hair-on-fire and munchies session at a time.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
I dunno, man. Both my sister and I smoke the reefer, and neither of us are overweight or irresponsible.
MissMae93 23
Agreeing with 36 - I smell awesome all the time, model, and am average body weight.
Calyx_fml 22
...or unattractive (36)
reddudeover 2
27 - Read your own damn profile. P.S. Weed doesn'take anyone anything, responsible people can enjoy things with in reason.
mvems 13
I third that! And I know tons of smexy stoner chicks, I dont know where you live, viente siete.
br0ccoli 15
Hm, maybe it's just where I live. Carry on.
meggieeee51 9
At least he tried to fix his mistake and I'd prefer bong water on me then having my head burn.
ToxicGhost254 0
Why would anyone sit there and let their hair burn?
brianjman14 23
Well, him panicking of the situation (and the fact that he was probably high) probably led him to that solution. Humans tend not to be logical when placed in a stressful situation. Not a very good solution, but still better than letting your hair burn.
sadistmonkey 19
I think that grabbing the first thing that will put out a fire is quite logical given the urgency of the OP's hair being on fire.
DocBastard 40
*I will NOT comment on yet another discovered danger of marijuana* *I will NOT comment on yet another discovered danger of marijuana*
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
We would have a Weed War II on our hands otherwise.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Too late.
sadistmonkey 19
Which is also the same danger that exists with campfires and cooking....
reddudeover 2
I think the dangerous thing here was FIRE not weed. And that can be solved by purchasing a high quality vaporizer.
DocBastard 40
SSSHHHH! I said I wasn't commenting on it! SH!
mikeymayhem_87 15
Be a champ Doc.... You know you want to comment!!
mvems 13
Doc, I'm not really into your whole 'band wagon' supporter thing so I'm not saying this to join bastard-nation in anyway. But I gotta say chico, you make me laugh.
mvems 13
And I probably laughed harder at your comments today because I'm stooooned like a rock :)
DocBastard 40
Bastardia only has 4 inhabitants - me, Mrs. Bastard, and my two mini-Bastards. No one else is invited, and our borders are locked down tighter than KaySL's anus during a prison riot.
mvems 13
Not even for tea?
ToxicGhost254 0
I actually shook my head at this one. That's a little more hope for the human race lost.
KinkyBitch1994 0
Poor bong.. :( The real victim.
chitown23 4
I like the way u think
felisaa 5
Leave it to a stoner to even get into these situations.
TheCowCollector 2
Everyone who's ever been set on fire was high