Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I turned off my boyfriend's Xbox while he was playing because I wanted to talk to him about getting more serious with our relationship. As I did so, he said, "That's not the only thing you just turned off" and promptly broke up with me. FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML
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Top comments
Mattsta123 5
Finally a good use for the bong water
ICastillo 25
Hey, at least he tried to put it out, but your boyfriend sounds like an idiot.
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Comments (90)
DCvRkey2012 7
"The hair was drenched by the allure of bong water, battling the flames as they steadily grew higher" I hope someone gets this reference. lol Johnny cash ftw
kouklistax3 2
And it burns burns burns
EnterSandman_fml 20
The bong hair fire...
ZDR 11
..well, on the bright side ur not completely bald! (I hope not)
SarahBearrra 4
He probably lit it on fire, because he was high as f*ck
perdix 31
Did he at least let the water out of the bong before using it to put out the fire?
Jeffo193 13
How very silly of you...
seeb49 7
I don't think she willingly allowed her hair to be lit on fire or have bong water poured over it.
RedCamaro10 0
I do believe that would justify branding him with "Ex" status.
nofearjenshere 12
For trying to put out the fire on her head? Seems like he was being a good boyfriend.
jannielovesjack 0
42, OP's boyfriend put out the fire after HE set her hair on fire. I don't think a good boyfriend would put a flame near your head.
TheDrudgeChild 4
157 - there are these things called "accidents"...
jannielovesjack 0
Well 179 if it was an accident I don't believe this would be on FML.....
SkoomaKi 28
He was just trying to get high off your burning hair.
hahauRrcool 0
Yoouuu can't get high off burning hair.
Z03y 7
That sounds like something Jake (two and a half men) would do...
OfficeNinja 5
When your hair is on fire - any water that puts the fire out is good.
aznbiznitch666 4
even bong water? that litterally smells like sh*t..
XtraEzeee 8
Smells better than burnt corpse.
HairyPunisher 27
I'd like to know more about what led to your hair being lit on fire.
sportcrazychick4 7
She couldn't light the bong so he was doing it for her and then her hair got in the way...
I_heart_sex 1
What were the two of you doing in the first place? Fire and bong = setup for trouble.
MissMae93 23
Really? Then why do you use fire (ex. a lighter) to light the bowl of weed? Strange...
I_heart_sex 1
Fire + bong + high as a kite = problems.
MissMae93 23
54 - You completely missed the point.
tmbfan 11
60- Swing and a miss. :|
charvisioku 22
You're doing it wrong, mate... What you MEANT was: fire+bong+high as a kite=epic night. No need to thank me.