Desperate for D
Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML
Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML
Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML
Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML
Today, I lied to my father. I told him I got money yesterday. In fact, I just got fired yesterday. I kept a really happy jolly voice when I spoke to him on the phone. FML
Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML
Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML
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Top comments
newzealand 28
You have hit rock bottom my friend.
marinus_fml 20
Luckily diaries can't talk back, because it would have called bullshit.
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Comments (205)
mrsthomas88 2
thats really pathetic..
rexgar2000 10
copying #49 ?
Enslaved 38
Nope. They posted at the exact same time. They just think similar. (:
RuneRifle 22
2 minds, one thought ;)
chickenpie90 16
LOL
Deathhound 27
Exactly!
sciencekidster1 8
So...you lied to yourself?
Doortje 30
No, to her diary. .....
GTRspecV 0
Does anyone else hate one line fmls?
Lenho 26
¿Do you complain too about the audio being very quiet and muffled?
VickLynx 6
Why would you lie to yourself about getting laid? :S OP needs serious help!
perdix 31
Now, your diary is blabbing to the other diaries in town what a slutty ***** you are, when you are just a sad, pathetic loser-virgin.
MrLookAtThere 10
I bet your diary thinks you're a **** now.
Doortje 30
And it's telling all the other diaries about OP's sexual escapades!
vi3tno_romeo 5
lmfao! fav'd!
Ishinebrightly 8
Good! So I'm not the only one...? Haha jkjk
StuuPididiot 4
wow, lieing to yourself about getting laid is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard...FYL