Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room, he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me, I spread my legs to help out. He then looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML
Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML
Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper, we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset, so I politely asked where the bathroom was so I could "powder my nose;" After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent me some nudes while I was at work, so I went into the bathroom to rub one out. When I was done, I realized there was no paper towels… or toilet paper… or soap. I'm really sticky right now. FML
Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
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Top comments
Frankenstein611 10
Thats just nasty!
life_sucks225 13
i hope it was worth it
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Comments (258)
VetTech1 4
umm... that's gross. I would want my husband to tell me if there was a paper trail. then I would invest in different toilet paper. FYL, man.
srogue74 5
we talking used toilet paper?
Enslaved 38
I do the same thing. (: I grew up in a country that always had bidets. Now here in the USA, that's not so common. I always keep an empty cup to fill with water to rinse myself off before getting intimate. (And even when I'm not) Even the best toilet paper leaves little T.P. pieces behind. A few rinses and I'm fresh as a daisy. It's called being respectful for the one that you're with. It's unfair to leave a paper trail. :P
TisAPenguin 16
I think he means he was eating her out and she had left bits of toilet paper behind. Pretty sure he didn't just snack on TP.
cinnamondemon 8
thats gross
rafael58842 7
Now that's true love
jayellef 3
Whatever, if I can gag down a hair you can gag down toilet paper.
perdix 31
#78, I wouldn't find it if you spit out a hair. Just as long as you didn't waste time and got back to work right away! I guess I'm just a gentleman that way.
Ambience138 11
It's just toilet paper, not really a big friggen deal. Not like it was blood clots or something.
Jharrist89 12
Ohh NOOOOOOOOOO! These are one of those moments where I wish I could have you!
timss4 19
Are you sure it was toilet paper..? Lol either way... I feel for you OP
Raum 19
What else would it be?
JessBassett 24
it's kind of sad that you don't have more self respect, that's just nasty!!