Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room, he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me, I spread my legs to help out. He then looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML
Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML
Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper, we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset, so I politely asked where the bathroom was so I could "powder my nose;" After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent me some nudes while I was at work, so I went into the bathroom to rub one out. When I was done, I realized there was no paper towels… or toilet paper… or soap. I'm really sticky right now. FML
Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
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Top comments
Frankenstein611 10
Thats just nasty!
life_sucks225 13
i hope it was worth it
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Comments (258)
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
Maybe it's because I'm a lesbian that I'm not bothered by this but a little bit of toilet paper really isn't that bad in the grand scheme of things. I've heard so many oral related horror stories over the years that are so much worse than toilet paper (or lint, or hair (head, pubic and pet) or a tampon string).
BubbleGrunge 18
I'm a little surprised everyone is flipping out myself; it's really not that huge of a deal!
emuexport 4
Haha, shoulda got a photo :)
ozpunker 20
You gotta do what you gotta do.
zazzi01 10
**** that
4Madden 19
Looks like you just became her personal douchebag.
BubbleGrunge 18
Oh god! All these comments are hilarious. Ladies, you can be as clean as a nun, have to pee and get a little paper down there. Sometimes I like spontaneous sex and I haven't just climbed out of the shower. Little paper isn't a big deal; you can secretly dispose of it while you're down their guys especially if you're good. Everyone is so grossed out but in reality, it happens sometimes. Lets not act like children! I'm especially appalled at the "no self respect" comments; least someone wipes!
ozpunker 20
As I said, you gotta do what you gotta do.
pattayarick 8
Been there, done that. Next time buy Charmin. They advertise that that doesn't happen with their tp.
southerngalslove 15
Even as a girl, I have to say it's better to ruin the moment than to suffer through that. That's worse than a guy with sweaty balls, and I'm sure girls tell guys to wash up first... just saying. I always prefer to shower first, as does my fiancé.
faygo_chick 5
I don't find it bothersome if my guy has to stop occasionally for a bit of fuz or lint (usually from the towel after a shower). It wouldn't have bothered her if you just mentioned there was a bit of fuz or whatever and to wipe it quick or you could have grabbed a towel and wiped it saying anything from there's too much saliva to lint or whatever.
Allennis44 16
I don't think I want to know why.