Today, my horror movie-obsessed girlfriend hit a new level of crazy when she asked me to dress up as Ghostface during sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML
Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she wants to dress me up in her clothes, with a wig and makeup. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, marks the fourth straight night that my girlfriend has screamed and cried in fear, scratching and kicking me in her sleep. The reason? I took her to see Paranormal Activity 3. FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
Everyone has a sexual kink. I indulge my wife’s kink, and she indulges mine. That’s the key to a healthy sex filled marriage.
Jonkbaby 23
When you finish you should be like "wazzuppppppppp!!!"
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Comments (5)
mike3775 39
Everyone has a sexual kink. I indulge my wife’s kink, and she indulges mine. That’s the key to a healthy sex filled marriage.
RichardPencil 32
She's just tired of your face. I'm thinking your ****** face looks like Freddy Krueger.
Jonkbaby 23
When you finish you should be like "wazzuppppppppp!!!"
bobsanction 18
If you don't want her I'll take her.
walkerbait612 2
Sounds like my newest favorite scary movie!!