Today, my girlfriend sent me some nudes while I was at work, so I went into the bathroom to rub one out. When I was done, I realized there was no paper towels… or toilet paper… or soap. I'm really sticky right now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to use the restroom, because I had to take a shit. There was basically no toilet paper left. I asked my boyfriend if he could go get some. It was 1 a.m. He said he’d go when the stores were open, then told me to just rinse off in the shower. FML
Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room, he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me, I spread my legs to help out. He then looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML
Today, I forgot to grab toilet paper on the way home from work. Since I don't have a car and all of my friends have plans for Valentine's Day I'm now down to wiping with cotton balls. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You need to find a better company to work for — one that stocks the bathroom with paper products and soap. Imagine how disgusting all your coworkers are without all those niceties. What must your office smell like with all those unwiped people milling about?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Ugh. Yet another guy perpetuating the stereotype that we can't aim for the toilet bowl. Oh, and YDI for thinking that jacking it at work was appropriate.
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Comments (29)
interesting33 37
So the first thing you did about it make an fml.. naturally. With cum covered hands. Now I have IMAGES!
BurnInDemonFire 39
Ugh. Yet another guy perpetuating the stereotype that we can't aim for the toilet bowl. Oh, and YDI for thinking that jacking it at work was appropriate.
kujiens101 24
Bro. He jerked it. How would he aim it into a toilet? It’s called a “Stiffy” for a reason. I agree about not doing it at work though
nubs 23
Wait, I thought it would be just all over the place 🤔
Charlie Given 28
I guess your girlfriend can now call you sticky icky 😂🤣😏
RichardPencil 32
You need to find a better company to work for — one that stocks the bathroom with paper products and soap. Imagine how disgusting all your coworkers are without all those niceties. What must your office smell like with all those unwiped people milling about?
blightsight 10
couldn't you do it into a urinal or something?
Levi2411 41
Your workplace is the reason I hesitate to shake hands with people, what the actual hell man. Supply your toiletries!
real life problems 26
Did you cum on your chest or something ? How are you all sticky?
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Wait until you get home next time?
Mungolikecandy 19
I feel sorrier for the co-worker who goes to use a cubicle only to find it full of baby batter. Do you have no self-control?
silentbabydeer 10
YDI because for one why are you rubbing one out while at work, that’s very inappropriate place to do it. Second you didn’t check to see if they had toilet paper before you did your nasty. Sorry I don’t feel sorry for you.