Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room, he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me, I spread my legs to help out. He then looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML
Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML
Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper, we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset, so I politely asked where the bathroom was so I could "powder my nose;" After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent me some nudes while I was at work, so I went into the bathroom to rub one out. When I was done, I realized there was no paper towels… or toilet paper… or soap. I'm really sticky right now. FML
Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
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Top comments
Frankenstein611 10
Thats just nasty!
life_sucks225 13
i hope it was worth it
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Comments (258)
Narcisse_fml 25
How can any woman allow her man to do that without being freshly washed?
Bex628 20
I had a boyfriend who liked his women to be a bit, how should I put this, skanky(?) down there. He didn't like freshly washed, said it took away the flavour and womanly scent. It was always a disappointment for him with me as I always freshen up before that.
Chewiebhz 15
O fell you bro...
theboy13 13
Shower before doing that shit dude
BaldoktheMystic 3
That is never worth it, no matter how hot your gf is. You lose your man card, sir.
thefuckinloser 6
Yes I been there before and know what you mean , you did the right thing , I don't know you but damn fine job you a pussy eater ,now don't forget to earn your red wings and you will be a true pussy eater remember if you get by the smell you got it licked.
EpicBlondie89 19
What the hell kind of women have you been with?! There shouldn't be a smell!
TheDrifter 24
There's always a smell. Good smells, bad smells, soap smells.
AcieMcG 21
My boyfriends done the same >.> well not eaten it, cause that's stupid XD
uhmaizing 3
moment ruined, in fact relationship ruined.
xkncas 8
Way to be a man and just do it for her--though--I hope you told her to sit on the sink and wash off her ass before the next time you rim her. I have to tell my boyfriend this more than I'd like.
dontpanic_fml 32
He ate her out; he didn't rim her. No asses involved.
PrincessPesa 20
Well, there are some freaks out there (like my man) who like to have everything on the menu. Many a time I've ended up with my legs over my head when they started out over his shoulders. To be clear, I'd never allow unclean assplay because its gross and unsafe. This just proves that getting as clean as possible- inside and out- can be excellent for everyone. If he wants to lick my pussy, tongue **** my ass, and then hold me by the hair while I ride him, you'd better bet I'm more than prepared!
dontpanic_fml 32
That was all lovely to know but totally irrelevant to my statement; however, enjoy yourself
djinnyf 12
Traumatised... Couldn't go out with someone so inconsiderate, who'd let me do that... If you're in a car or something, and can't wash up, tell the guy not to go there.... It's respect!!
Old_Iron_Sides 6
You can't pass inspection with pieces left behind!