Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML
Today, I was creeping on a girl, looking at her tattoos and getting stimulated while she was sitting down in the carriage next to ours. From the looks of it, it looked like she was looking at her phone, but she was actually staring dead at me. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, I went to work early and saw my crush's car in the parking lot, so I parked next to her. After that, I looked over at her car to see her staring at me with a weird look and her saying, "Really?" Then she gestured around the lot; I looked around to find it completely empty. FML
Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML
Today, I realized that I have an odd habit of plucking the tiny white hairs on my upper lip when I am overly stressed. But only the right side. I noticed when examining my face and seeing they'd all come back black. I've got half a mustache. I'm female. FML
Today, I was on the train and a woman approached me from behind and told me that if I didn’t stop staring at her, she’d kill me slowly and painfully, then she pulled out a switchblade to support her argument. I wasn’t looking at her at all and was in fact looking in the opposite direction. FML
Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML
Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML
Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML
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Top comments
robc32ca 4
The horror!
ninjadinos 14
Oh, come on. Nobody forced you to look at the lady. Just chuckle and move on.
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Comments (127)
robc32ca 4
The horror!
HoboSmeller 6
of your comment!
deBlobX 12
No of yours
deBlobX 12
Ignore this sorry
zandalee 20
Stop it you two or I'll bang your heads together!
patrickalamo 48
So your a voyeur
dressedskeleton 10
You should have walked up to her and told her she missed a spot.
nictransitglory 4
She looked OP right in the eyes and continued plucking... Like a boss!
folfg0 12
Stare back... Then make the fap face and hand motions. Trust me, she won't state for much longer. Rule #1 on how to not be creeped. Out creep the creeper. >:D
thisiscat 14
97- what if she keeps watching you 'fap' the nightmares would commerce
folfg0 12
Nah. That's when you make the "oh shit I just came everywhere" face and drive off like a speed demon.
redhondamike 6
Grooooosssss
putloginhere 6
Well would you rather see her looking like chewbaca staring at you?
zandalee 20
At least she's into grooming herself right!? Right? She was about to pick her nose afterwards, but you put her off her game.
AussieChild 22
Number 2- not all people who overweight, are overweight by choice. Some have different illness that makes them gain weight and very hard to lose. And yeah, excess hair may be "gross" but again, it is in no way her fault. She obviously inherited those genes, or again as a symptom of an illness. At least she's trying to make an effort with her appearance. Rant over.
fishface517 10
Good. Quit fml now. That was a great comment and you just refuted basic logic. We can't help entirely how we look. But we can help how we act.
paddy4169 5
Well I'd just like to say, even with the discovery of the fat gene etc etc. back in the day, regardless of whether not you had the gene, or an illness, people were skinny. People keep playing it off as we can't help the way we look, yes that's true for body features, but body structure such as excess weight, the yes you bloody hell can help the way you look. I'll be damned before I believe that 52% of Australians have some illness which makes you fat. Same with population of America, if 100 or so million people have this illness or hormonal problem, you can pluck my stash hairs and feed them to me. End of the day, regular exercise and diet will drop the weight. So please everyone face the reality, people are choosing unhealthy life styles and eating habits, sure the gene makes it harder, but I'm sure a gene in your body is not able to dictate what you eat.
TheIchiban 11
I agree with the life style bit, but not the all people used to be skinny once upon a time. Have you noticed how chunky people were portrayed in many paintings centuries ago? The majority were probably rich royalty, but not all of them were thin.
AussieChild 22
108- I never said that ALL overweight people had a medical problem, but some do have a legitimate reason. Weight gain can be a symptom of another illness, not the cause. Obviously, that's only a small percentage, but my point was that OP and others shouldn't be judging people when they don't know the circumstances surrounding
ninjadinos 14
Oh, come on. Nobody forced you to look at the lady. Just chuckle and move on.
fishface517 10
Chuckle and move on.. Reminds me when I saw some guy break some sort of flexible material while shoving it in his van... I was too far to see what- but I was close enough to see the "my wife is gonna kill me look" haha good times :)
gracehi 33
It's like a train wreck...you don't want to stare, but you can't look away!
goose12321 11
Some things can't be unseen.
fishface517 10
Yes I agree! I practically live by that statement :I
jacquesromualdez 12
Maybe he's inlove!
KBeatz 5
Well, that is skill to be able to pluck a mustache without even having to look in a mirror.
fishface517 10
She must be practiced!
PeteyPablo12308 20
You should be flattered. Most people would want to keep their plucking private. She let you share in her mustache plucking. You share an unbreakable bond with her now. Lucky you.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Oops! This was supposed to be it's own comment. My mistake.
Dunvanation 4
Has anyone noticed that OP never said that he didn't like this. He also said he couldn't get her out of his head... So he must be in love!!
Elovena 9
Very disgusting.. Very disturbing...
pcentral 17
Very distasteful...
pcentral 17
Very distressing...
pcentral 17
Very discomposing...
pcentral 17
Very distracting...
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Very discombobulating.
Andr913 13
Very disingenuous...
shoopd 19
Very dead horse?
roseXthorns 8
Unless it was one of the longest red lights ever, why did you stay parked next to her? Why not drive away or get out of the car and walk away?
mrnuleef 7
Parked, like in a parking lot. Where you park cars. But op also shouldn't have been staring. That's rude!
xrudeboyrock 29
Haha, but why would OP just be.. sitting in a parking lot? I guess they could have been waiting for someone or something.
megaboo310 4
Dude in a parking lot
outoftown 27
Still, he could have looked for another parking spot, or found something to read to keep his eyes off her.
fishface517 10
That's the thing nightmares are made of :o that's almost worse than clowns!
superhumangambit 4
I was thinking about her Thinking bout me Thinkin bout us (us) What we gunna be? Open my eyes, (Yeah) it was only just a dream...
blahblah0392 7
just a dream -Nelly (now it will remain in my head for the rest of the day)
UltimateGIRness 16
Now that song is stuck in my head.Thanks >:(
mrnuleef 7
In her head, she must've been singing "i hope that you're the one, if not, you are the prototype! We'll tiptoe to the sun, and do things, i know you like, i think i'm in looooooove again!" For those that dont know the song Andre3000-prototype. Listen to it!
pcentral 17
At least it was her moustache she was plucking. I mean, considering some of the other nastier alternatives... *throws up a little in my mouth at that thought*
zaynismylove 2
just one thing you're profile pic is sexy ;)
pcentral 17
Haha thanks ;) Wish I could see yours
zaynismylove 2
lol zayn is from one direction and he's taken
SqueakyChipmunk 22
No. No flirting on FML unless it's funny. This is not funny. STOP.