Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend asked me if I have ever or would ever fake an orgasm. I assured him that I wouldn't, when he has actually never given me one. I didn't have the heart to tell him. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my new boyfriend, well… penetration anyway. Turns out, he has premature ejaculation, and no idea how bad at sex he is. He actually thought he did a good job by lasting 20 seconds. He was done after 4 thrusts and was somehow confused. I didn't orgasm either. FML
Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML
Today, according to my boyfriend, getting me to orgasm takes so long that about 90% of his mental energy is directed at him trying not to orgasm first, so he never really enjoys himself. When he fails to get me to orgasm, I apparently use the forbidden sex phrase “It's fine” which makes him feel worse. FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I never achieved an orgasm with any of my past partners, and therefore telling him what I need to get there, he won't even touch me, let alone do anything "down there" because he has never done it on any of his past girlfriends, and thinks it's gross. I make sure to always be fresh and clean. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
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Top comments
Eaglestrike117 29
Fake quicker.
dgmesa 4
quit leaving it up 2 him....only u know what u like so tell him what he needs 2 do
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Comments (191)
perdix 31
"Because you haven't bought me a vibrator yet."
Headcrab 29
stop faking and maybe give him some guidance. How do you expect to ****** when you fake you like what he's doing. Women are really retarded when they sake. YDI girl!
veritoswty6 14
Very sad.. Why the lie? -_- tell him the truth and find ways to actually get into having one with him..
DjeePee 25
YDI. I NEVER understood why any woman would fake an ******. If the sex is bad, you won't make it better by pretending it's good. And if it's just a single time that you can't achieve it, your partner should easily understand that. Really, in my experiences, frequently pretending to like something (sexual) will always end up badly. This being said, your boyfriend asks stupid questions. It's not like we can control the time it takes to ******.
perdix 31
Because she's had enough and just wants to get some sleep, that's why. If you watched enough "Seinfeld," you'd have learned that. It's good you put (sexual) in parentheses. Maybe women fake orgasms because in so many other aspects of our lives we are taught to pretend we like things we really don't.
canonite 7
It's can be fusteratong for a guy when he can't get his girl off. So you need tow how him what you realllyyyyy like and see where that goes. Because maybe he's trying but it's not hitting the spot. Give him some guidance. My girl did when we first started and it's good now . :)
Levvy 22
Hm. Communicating and finding a solution to the problem.... Lying about it.... Communicating and finding a solution to the problem.... Lying about it.... Oh, heck. Eenie meenie minie mo...
CrazyManNo9 29
She's just as responsible for her ****** as he is and vice versa. Don't blame the guy unless she has done her part too. OBTW, girls should all ********** too so they know what works for them. Anyone thinks otherwise is dumb.
MissHayleyJames 7
Umm no not all girls should **********. You should only do it of you want to. I personally find it absolutely disgusting and wouldn't do it for anything. What's wrong with just experimenting with your man to find what works? That's more fun then writing him a detailed instruction manual to follow.
CrazyManNo9 29
Well, that is certainly up to you but you missed the point. How are you going to tell him if you don't know yourself?
MissHayleyJames 7
That's where the experimentation with him comes in. It's more fun to let him discover it.
CrazyManNo9 29
And the result would be that he couldn't find your ass with two hands, a flashlight, a roadmap and directions from the town drunk. So sad. You should try it already. You might like it.
Jannettecooks 1
How could you ever expect someone to be able to please you when you don't know how to please yourself?
MissHayleyJames 7
Because that's kind of his job in a sense. It's my job to please him and his to please me, but only when we both want to and only doing what we both feel comfortable with. I don't need to please myself because I have him. He's only turned me down for sex I think 3 times in the 4 years we've been together because he was either too tired or sick. Other than that if I want it, he does too so we both win. I have no need to get my hands dirty.
wildthang428 10
#61 please let me buy you a vibrator... Then you won't need to get your "hands dirty". Sex is a two way street. It is not solely his job to get you off and vice versa. Knowing your own body will allow you to experience orgasms far greater than just "winging it" when you have sex. There is absolutely nothing wrong with masturbating! Have you ever heard how men are visual? Playing with yourself can be a huge turn on to your man. You shouldn't judge something without having tried it first.
MissHayleyJames 7
I have tried it, and I felt like a filthy ***** afterwards. My husband is free to please himself if he wants to, but any pleasure I get is solely from him. He gives me plenty of it and likes to do so, so why do something I don't want to do when everything else is working just fine?
bchatzis 9
Yeah, I think faking is terrible. As a guy, I'd much rather know that what I'm doing isn't working out so I can try something new, or ask for advice to help the girl climax. If a girl were to fake an ****** I'd just feel completely like she didn't respect me and she just wanted things over and done with asap...
lylotrezor 20
43, maybe OP does. Some people just aren't that much into sex.
savannahc 0
Aahhaaa
dixiegirl18r 0
I don't think having an ****** is the point. I feel it should be about enjoying being together!
voveraite 7
I feel it should be about what the person involved thinks it should. -_- However, OP, this is some iron you may want to hammer while hot, that is, speak politely and do not let any session end unsatisfactorily.
MissHayleyJames 7
It gets to a point though after awhile where you get tired and are hurting pretty badly so you just need to end the session before it makes things worse. Not to mention after awhile you'll just get plain sick of it.