Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend asked me if I have ever or would ever fake an orgasm. I assured him that I wouldn't, when he has actually never given me one. I didn't have the heart to tell him. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my new boyfriend, well… penetration anyway. Turns out, he has premature ejaculation, and no idea how bad at sex he is. He actually thought he did a good job by lasting 20 seconds. He was done after 4 thrusts and was somehow confused. I didn't orgasm either. FML
Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML
Today, according to my boyfriend, getting me to orgasm takes so long that about 90% of his mental energy is directed at him trying not to orgasm first, so he never really enjoys himself. When he fails to get me to orgasm, I apparently use the forbidden sex phrase “It's fine” which makes him feel worse. FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I never achieved an orgasm with any of my past partners, and therefore telling him what I need to get there, he won't even touch me, let alone do anything "down there" because he has never done it on any of his past girlfriends, and thinks it's gross. I make sure to always be fresh and clean. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
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Top comments
Eaglestrike117 29
Fake quicker.
dgmesa 4
quit leaving it up 2 him....only u know what u like so tell him what he needs 2 do
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Comments (191)
miss_booboo_8 0
Don't u think when he FINALLY gives u one he might notice......
billybob1890 10
Maybe you need to be more of a *****! Everbody needs to be a little Whorish.
Strwbry3Shortcke 8
I love how you say 'new' suggesting you haven't been going to long and you've already had sex. Communication is key darling, don't fake it or he'll never learn to really satisfy you.
savagee133 13
Sadly i know what you mean :(
silence_isloudx3 5
Let me know when you find out how to tell him. lol!
2Siccckkkkkey 2
Hahahah good one
disc120 2
Quit lying to him
ASREAL611 0
Get someone else to give it to u if it aint happenin it aint gonna happen
hazardmuffin 21
I have to say YDI... How is he supposed to know how to please you when you lie about what gets you off...?
peaceloveviolet 0
It happens to the best of us. Over 1.5 years.
False_Stupidity 42
Get on top and ride him