Today, I finally had sex with my new boyfriend, well… penetration anyway. Turns out, he has premature ejaculation, and no idea how bad at sex he is. He actually thought he did a good job by lasting 20 seconds. He was done after 4 thrusts and was somehow confused. I didn't orgasm either. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
Today, my date took nearly 10 minutes to get an erection, had to be shown where the entrance to my vagina was, since he kept missing it and poking me in the thigh, he orgasmed after only 3 thrusts, fell asleep straight away, then an hour later had the nerve to ask if I’d had fun too. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
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Top comments
Inkoseh 33
(Communication!) F both your lives, if you like/love him, don't shame for something he doesn't know. Have fun together and learn.
Ashamed_Sister 60
"My girlfriend said I'm bad at sex, but I think she cannot tell after only 20 seconds. FML"
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Comments (16)
Ashamed_Sister 60
"My girlfriend said I'm bad at sex, but I think she cannot tell after only 20 seconds. FML"
hugtrees13 16
If you really like him you can try to work around it/ help him practice to last longer, plus theres always toys/oral.
TCRII 30
Ok. Here’s what you do. Get him to take up a dangerous hobby. Not too dangerous, just something where he will get some bruised or cracked ribs. Then when you are having sex, “accidently” kick him in the injured area every 3 thrusts. Then scream for him to keep going. Good luck.
Inkoseh 33
(Communication!) F both your lives, if you like/love him, don't shame for something he doesn't know. Have fun together and learn.
manb91gb 15
4 Thrusts? Wow! That's 3 more then I can manage!
RichardPencil 32
If you know enough that 4 thrusts is bad, you need a side piece. Or a new main piece.
mfranks19891989 10
That because your an old fart
RichardPencil 32
*That's *you're I'm from the school where poor grammar tagged you as a fool.
mfranks19891989 10
You can either dump him or help him get better at sex.
Mathalamus 25
Honestly, that's about standard for sex. Work on foreplay.
Sady_Ct 38
I don’t know what kind of shitty lovers you have had, but the main event for my husband and I, often lasts 30minutes or more, a hell of a lot more than four thrusts.
Iamthebanzai22 21
If that was the case, most **** movies would be under a minute in duration.
Mellowyellow15 10
For you maybe not a real standard
E2dav 5
He didn't do anything to finish you off? You can either show him the door, or if you really like him, tell him what you like to get you off, then have fun practising
Mellowyellow15 10
Dump him he won’t get better.