Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend asked me if I have ever or would ever fake an orgasm. I assured him that I wouldn't, when he has actually never given me one. I didn't have the heart to tell him. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my new boyfriend, well… penetration anyway. Turns out, he has premature ejaculation, and no idea how bad at sex he is. He actually thought he did a good job by lasting 20 seconds. He was done after 4 thrusts and was somehow confused. I didn't orgasm either. FML
Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML
Today, according to my boyfriend, getting me to orgasm takes so long that about 90% of his mental energy is directed at him trying not to orgasm first, so he never really enjoys himself. When he fails to get me to orgasm, I apparently use the forbidden sex phrase “It's fine” which makes him feel worse. FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I never achieved an orgasm with any of my past partners, and therefore telling him what I need to get there, he won't even touch me, let alone do anything "down there" because he has never done it on any of his past girlfriends, and thinks it's gross. I make sure to always be fresh and clean. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Eaglestrike117 29
Fake quicker.
dgmesa 4
quit leaving it up 2 him....only u know what u like so tell him what he needs 2 do
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (191)
lululu333 7
You know? That's pretty ****** up. Don't do to others what you wouldn't like to be done to you. Don't fake and lie in something that important in a relationship and expect sympathy, because I bet if he would have done it to you you wouldn't have like it. Tell him what you like and guide him through it. Anyways, you will gain much more if u do.
br0dawg 6
well shit it's better to tell him than to let him keep wasting his efforts don't be shy and tell him what you like. well assuming that you DO ******, because I know some girls just don't. at all. lame :(
Enslaved 38
Why does he think he's given you orgasms before? Are you faking them with him? If so, you're only cheating yourself. Since he's a "new" boyfriend, he may not know what you like to get you off. It's your job to guide him (perhaps using you own hands) and show him what you like, if not, you have only yourself to blame.
rattusrattus 19
OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Orgasms aren't the be-all-end-all of sex, but they are very nice. You don't have to tell your boyfriend he's never made you ******, but do start directing him a little. During foreplay you could make suggestions like "I really want you to finger my clit" or something. If he's not amenable to altering what he does, then he's a lost cause.
RussianFox 13
16-I couldn't help reading you're comment in Pinkie Pie's voice.
sandinthewaves 5
Yea, you should let him know. Maybe he'll try something new.
fmessiah 19
Give him a guide, draw him a map, push his head a little to the left with your thigh, put your hand on his shoulder and govern his speed, talk to him, whatever works.
Jannettecooks 1
Haha sounds like you've had sex with me! I'm glad you wrote this, it's better coming from a man, perhaps she'll listen.
fmessiah 19
I'm sure that would be a fantastic experience
jeinnor 0
Any women who fakes only has themselves to blame. Speak to him nicely about how he can help you have an ******, if he is not interested then kick his ass out.
thiscrazything 1
Is it just me, or do 17 and 19 look like they could be brothers?
AndyRoo007 6
More fool you! When are women going to learn, your only doing yourself out of pleasure if you fake it! Gotta tell um what does it for you!
loserman67 36
Your "NEW" boyfriend. So did you fall into the sack right away then? Maybe you need to give him detailed instructions on how to pleasure you so you can hit the almighty "O". Did your "OLD" boyfriend send you to the moon? And if so, why aren't you together?