Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my husband in jail. He was detained for statutory rape. The girl was his 15 year-old coworker at McDonald’s. He’s 42. I can’t tell which is worse, the fact that we have a daughter the same age, or that he actually wanted me to bail him out. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
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Top comments
the_real_dvd 21
I'm assuming you didn't bail him out.
SweetasCandy0609 28
I hope you didn't bail his sorry ass out let the waitress he was caught having sex with bail him out, I'm sorry your husband is a douche OP.
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Comments (183)
vikky538 29
turned out he got balls to tell u and hopes you forgive him.. what a dick...
tracyswingkid 8
Tell him you'll be right there. Instead of going, throw his stuff in the yard and change the locks. File for divorce and enjoy your new life not having to take care of a man-child.
bunny409 14
I bet this was at hooters
EvilLittleMan 23
What's better than having sex with a waitress from Hooters, sex with a waitress from the Waffle House. I hope you left his cheating butt in jail and told him to call the toothless wonder to bail his ass out.
dane18 12
That sucks
bjdog98 9
I hope you bailed him out so that he owed you a favour, and then burned all of his shit
imchacon22 19
Leave his sorry butt in there
SuperMew 22
I keep hearing things about how the waitress is a **** or trashy or a "toothless wonder." Yes, stupid as hell to have sex at your workplace. Not likely the best choice for future employment either. However, behavior aside, I don't feel like she is responsible for anything other than disobeying the law. The husband is the one who owes Op loyalty, vows, and who married her. He cheated and he is the only one responsible for his actions. The waitress could have asked for sex and he could have turned her down. He is the only one who is at fault for the broken trust and, hopefully, divorce.
Sheh_fml 25
So true! No one else is responsible for upholding his marital vows or keeping his relationship intact.
SuperMew 22
The waitress shouldn't have slept with anyone on the job, that is very stupid behavior and she deserves to be in jail/fired for that behavior. The same as the husband. However, it is not the waitress's fault that he was married.
MsMourningStar 22
Leave him there.
sarahbevan20 11
*cheating husband calls mom after having wife reject bail* "Mom, can you bail me out of jail?" "Why are you in jail, son?!" "No biggie, just screwed some waitress in a bathroom. Not like I'm married or anything." *awkward pause* "You let your sorry ass serve its time!"