Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for having sex in public. FML
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML
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Top comments
Tuesdaythe10th 11
McManMeat
bigdude1302 2
So tell me....does he have a Big Mac or a double cheese burger?
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Comments (107)
Tuesdaythe10th 11
McManMeat
murlocholmes 5
Nope, just a small fry...
esines 9
Comes with McJerksauce
tmargaritondo 1
I laughed so ******* hard at this.
zandalee 20
...no that's what's in the coleslaw at Kfc
JackeeDawn 9
I wonder if he was trying to order a McWeener super sized.
MrPlopper 9
What about the cream on top of a Cinnabon
patrickalamo 48
Let him sit in jail, he will get a lesson in handling meat.
FMLKitten 15
35- OP's boyfriend: NO!, that's too small! *pulls out penis* I want one this big, got it?!
YoungMisfit 9
Don't ask for the secret sauce
LLZNH 1
So that's what's in the "Big Mac?" ugh I think I'm going vegetarian.
ellie121 4
So, he had a McHappy to go???
bigdude1302 2
So tell me....does he have a Big Mac or a double cheese burger?
zandalee 20
A chicken nugget
AKGirlinSD 20
Or a spicy chicken bite...I don't want to picture that lol.
pokefan813 16
Maybe a quarter POUNDER.
Jiplo 18
I'm lovin it.
Ronald87 7
Hi big dude
NineeCat 32
With extra mayo and napkins please!
OneGirlsLife 20
How do I put this nicely....ew.
taniamw 9
How do I put this nicely.... Stupid comment!
cr3ativity 15
"How do I put this nicely?" You don't. This is a matter of public indecency.
zandalee 20
Ewww! That is so wrong! What the hell is wrong with him?!
zachherbert 10
He is a manly man.
zandalee 20
Maybe he thought his burger needed extra sauce...
Nbackus9 4
Why would OP date someone like that?
myth454 2
I've seen road dome while working the drive thru. I just kinda laughed. You see it all when you work there long enough.
Psych101 9
I've always wanted to ask someone this. Have you ever been cones while working the drive thru? If so, what was your reaction? If you don't know what that is, look it up on YouTube.
Psych101 9
Sorry, coned, not cones.
ItsPersonal 6
It's the most retarded thing ever. I didn't laugh at all I just thought the guy was a dumb ass
myth454 2
It didn't happen to me, but it did to a co-worker. She ended up throwing the cone at their windshield as they sped off.
I_Punch_Babies 7
That mustve been one hell of a happy meal he ordered.
zandalee 20
Not for the poor person who had to take his order. ...Do you want fries with that sir?
I_Punch_Babies 7
Dont fries already cum with my fappy meal?
zandalee 20
Laughed so much at that one, thank you.
supportcommand 17
No toy needed with that order.
alazyguy 9
just a normal day at McDonald's.
BatemanFML 0
I can only imagine what he would do at Walmart
coughyochick 7
12-Wack it at Wally?
ebonyirony 29
12- or Dorsia.
twizzy2011 5
Hate to say it but you are right. I work at McDonald's and believe me... They dont pay near enough...
astralvagan 20
Maybe the happy meal made him a little too happy!
MigraineurOfLife 15
He just took the "I'm loving' it" slogan to a whole new level!
zandalee 20
Gold!
zuzupetalsYO 11
17-your comment made me LOL
immataco 9
Hahhaahh! Amazing. Than you. I won't be able to remove that from my head now.
HiddenValley 5
How many people thought about the scene in "The Hangover" when Allen claims masturbating on an airplane is not illegal just frowned upon?
onlychildFTW 34
Me me me!!! Haha. I think masturbating anywhere in public is frowned upon really.
Mauskau 36
That's because it is. But it is also public indecency. Which is why it is illegal. Ask the guy that set up Kony 2012 about it.