Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my husband in jail. He was detained for statutory rape. The girl was his 15 year-old coworker at McDonald’s. He’s 42. I can’t tell which is worse, the fact that we have a daughter the same age, or that he actually wanted me to bail him out. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
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Top comments
the_real_dvd 21
I'm assuming you didn't bail him out.
SweetasCandy0609 28
I hope you didn't bail his sorry ass out let the waitress he was caught having sex with bail him out, I'm sorry your husband is a douche OP.
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Comments (183)
Waredo_Dyrge 11
Guess I'll just leave my "I hope you didn't bail him out" in this pile by the door.
divadro102 16
Guess he won't be eating out any [one] time soon
luv_lucy 1
I sincerely hope you didn't bail his cheating ass out! What a pathetic idiot!
icepick23 12
YDI for not being good in bed?
secretlady99 6
i'd leave him there if i were you
amisenho 11
So THAT'S what marriage is for: getting bailed out BY someone you love when you screw up your commitments TO someone you love! Sounds like a regular man-child to me. There must be a heaping handful of married people that don't understand what being married means (at least on FML, anyway). What, did he get married because he thought it was a cute idea and/or it made him look good for his family?
KTH1321 1
at least he kept it a 100
m2361 4
U left him there yea???
jelly_donut8 4
Leave his ass in jail.
831curmudgeon 7
The real question is why you didn't refer to him as your "ex-husband" in the story?