Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they couldn't get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML
Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML
Today, I was visiting my girlfriend at her house. We heard the door bell ring. She told me to jump out the window thinking it was her dad. I jumped, landed wrong, and got hurt. It turns out we were ding-dong-ditched. FML
Today, I was baby sitting ten year old twins. When they first saw me, they ran away screaming and hid in the closet. This isn't the first house where this has happened. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML
Today, my neighbor's sons decided it would be funny to throw rocks at my house. I went outside to scold them and saw my other neighbors gathered around, watching. They didn't stop them because they thought I wasn't home. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML
Today, I went upstairs to scold my boys for running in the house because someone could get hurt. As I turned around to come back downstairs I tripped and fell all the way down to the landing at the bottom. I could hear them laughing in their rooms. FML
Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML
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Top comments
ViktoriaaKills 13
Ever thought about locking your doors?
MattThePimp 10
Children are the 9/11 of humans.
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Comments (130)
cinskeep43 15
that's when you meet them with a 12 guage...
jcast0627 9
I would've shot them dead.
Respect101 17
Your supposed to shoot them and wound them for cops to show up, not kill them, because then it just points murder at yourself.
gracehi 33
Shoot children for playing a prank? I'm all for the 2nd amendment (which doesn't apply in the UK BTW) but that seems excessive.
moonbootz 7
Sat up some fun booby traps like bags full of flower that explode....all in good fun of course. no need to harm them. peace
Brandi_Faith 34
Home Alone style!
flashback_fml 14
And in america thats when they'd get shot
lexos 16
It's pretty normal to leave the door unlocked where I live. We only lock the door at night or when we leave for a few hours. The majority of the people that I know don't lock the door when the are home
yuliya_fml 4
Parents these days are too lazy to parent their kids. Any child with the right amount of parenting wouldnt do such a thing. Time to teach those brats about the consequences of trespassing. Tell the parents and if they do it again call the police.
xxrogerthatxx 19
kids do the darnedest things, no matter the home training.
yuliya_fml 4
Kids do these kinds of things because they 'didnt know any better'. If they actually had the right amount of parenting, they would've known better.
iloveanimeshow 6
not true 85. if a kid knows they are going to get an ass whop if they do something wrong you best believe they wont do it and if they still do it then the ass-whoop wasn't given properly
Brandi_Faith 34
We live in an upscale suburbia neighbourhood in Canada and we still lock the door while we're home during the day. Chances of anyone ever coming in are next to nil but it still just makes us more comfortable.
ThePols 11
There are worse n words out there. Count yourself lucky.
xoteeshaox 22
you got the wrong fml buddy
RastaZebra 8
I think he's saying OP is lucky they weren't African Americans.
Zebediabolical 45
People in Canada used to leave their doors unlocked. Until Fat Michael Moore wandered around opening them. Now we close them cuz we don't want him coming in.
mosquito19 14
that's when you bring out the heavy weapon. super soaker filled with pee.
Zebediabolical 45
Bonus points if you eat a jar or two of pickled beets and eat a bunch of asparagus before loading the tank.