Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "no worries" to mean "don't give a shit about anything". FML
Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML
Today, my four year-old daughter asked me what the word “necrophilia” means. I have no idea where she even heard that. FML
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, I was babysitting a one year-old. She'd just learned how to say yes, so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said, "Yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty. She looked at me and said, "NO." FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML
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Top comments
namine120409 42
At least he didn't teach her the big N word.
tukies 28
To be perfectly honest that was where I thought this FML was going. After I finished reading it I just went well it could have been a lot worse.
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Comments (107)
namine120409 42
At least he didn't teach her the big N word.
tukies 28
To be perfectly honest that was where I thought this FML was going. After I finished reading it I just went well it could have been a lot worse.
JBChristian 47
Yes one, it would have been tragic. nitrochloroanthraquinones, definitely want to keep that out of the toddlers reach.
tigerisabelle 31
Noodle? Man, I learned that one far too early. Ever since I was two years old, I've been slowly falling prey to the Japanese culture. My second word was "kawaii" and it's just gone downhill from there...
s3kShUn47 20
#6, Agreed, that was my initial thought when OP stated N" words
thelegendarycarl 12
At least I'm not the only one who instantly thought of a racial slur.
marcus369 9
You beat me to it, but i also thought it was going there
j_cat187 20
...Nigel Thornberry?
interesting33 37
What happened to nada?
interesting33 37
Noob.. it's noob isn't it...?
Ichiya 29
I agree neuroendocrinologist is such a terrible word to use
LexiDaBae 17
Nutella! :3
strike2867 13
Naggers?
TechFire 25
Nutella's a good one. WHAT'S UP MAH NUTELLA?!
daltond27 10
******
CHUBBYninja 18
So now she will be even more of a hassle in public. At least its not the naughty N word.
Soviet_American 29
Yeah shoot... That'd have been pretty funny if it was:P
mrwilsong 6
Thats where everyone thought the fml was going
senor_octubre 24
That is pretty funny...
baseballbv 17
He did it for the Vine.
spoo 24
I'd laugh if someone taught those to my 2 yr old son
barakados 11
doesn't seem to bad. Just be thankful he didn't teach her anything bad.
soulreaper12296 28
Why? I'd rather have a kid that says no or never than one that says n*****.
marcus369 9
Its apparent that 9 people dont like you
Jared900DUmpling 30
It's apparent that nein people don't like you
Kiki242 19
I thought he taught her another N word...
Not_Impressed13 9
Nipple. That's a terrible word... -Lois Griffin.
woainishamu 21
That's gnarly!
afkwarrior 25
Being multi-lingual is an asset. Let's face it, it could have been so much worse!
A07 48
The kid is 2 years old, i'm pretty sure No is just a word to her.
PresidentNorth 16
You kinda look like a long lost Jonas brother.
Pentium_4 27
#46, or jay baruchel!
fractured_ 22
Could have been worse...
fsomelife 26
Be glad he didn't teach her "nope nope nope", imagine that in a kid's voice.
LiquidFantasy 19
Yep yep yep!
j_cat187 20
or in the engineer's voice