Today, I was baby sitting ten year old twins. When they first saw me, they ran away screaming and hid in the closet. This isn't the first house where this has happened. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 4 year-old twin brothers yet again. I began to get desperate when they took my phone and would start crying every time I tried to take it back. My mother found me thirty minutes later, huddled in a corner, crying. I'm 27 years-old. FML
Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML
Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML
Today, I'm babysitting. The kids have only been home at the same time together for 15 minutes. Two of them have punched each other and the other is running in circles screaming. What is wrong with this picture? FML
Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, I was shut in a boiling hot room with six children: a ten year-old who kept shouting; a belligerent seven year-old; two five year-olds who thought hitting me was funny, and two two year-olds who wouldn't stop crying. Their parents were just outside, laughing away, ignoring me. FML
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Top comments
swansung 0
So, you have a face for telemarketing... or cattle wrangling. Could be worse. Could be your kids.
lovin_darkness 0
Ok Micheal Meyers, little tip: Try taking off the slasher clothes, putting down the knife and being friendly; maybe say hello
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Comments (124)
25shark 5
take a hint. 1st time being 1st1
worldcupcheer17 0
maybe babysitting isn't your thing?
Shy_Anne 10
offer them candy ^_^
yummycupkake 0
u g l y you're not getting paid tonight! you're ugly yeah yeah, your ugly :D
samammynanny 0
try makeup?
wofie 0
lol
dolphincheddar 10
yummy. I find almost all of your comments irrelevant to the subject,. I guess your like 10. but anyways OP. having more than 10 facial peircings, 2 inch spacers, full body satanic tattoes, black mascara, long blue hair, and sporting black leather with spikes generally does that to people. you may want to try plastic surgery or personal hygiene.
yummycupkake 0
55, I like how you're taking the time to call me out on something as unimportant as this. I am on FML to have fun, and trust me, I can be just as serious as you or anyone else if I wanted to be. Obviously you didn't get my little joke there. You've guessed wrong, by the way. :)
dolphincheddar 10
that is true. and It wasn't very funny but i see. It wasn't really a guess I assumed. and when you assume you make an ass out of u and me. aha. oh well. it's just your name, the fact you have pink heart cookies, and how you respond that makes me assume you are young. carry on having fun then
browntiga 0
lol it may bit have been funny but you need to chill out. it better not to be serious 24/7
dolphincheddar 10
imsrsbro. also cupcakes,. I don't have an ok'd kit bag where could I obtain such an estranged object? I'm not a serious person at all I just like to mess with people sometimes. I like pancakes and bunnies and lots ond lots of meth :D
dolphincheddar 10
old*.. auto correct can orally please my right kidney..
yummycupkake 0
"I guess your like ten." And when you don't get your facts straight, it makes an ass out of you and I. Do you have nothing better to do in your life then ridicule me? Sure, I have cookies with pink hearts on them. How do you know that I didn't bake them and was just taking pride and honoring my work? A picture of a dog saying "U got it babe" just shows me you (possibly) have a sense of humour, not that you are "some ten year old."
yummycupkake 0
Oh, and for your information, I'm 13, not 10 :]
dolphincheddar 10
i was actually apologizing for my false assuming. but I will not take this further becuase drama is stupid and I honesty don't really care. and if you did bake those cookies i want one they look tasty
yummycupkake 0
oo sorry, then I misunderstood. I'm always a happy go lucky person, but I can be serious too. thank you for apologizing. :)
chuckychan 8
thats what paper bags are for, or maybe plastic in your situation. haha
CaptSkippy 9
chuck your picture is sad one day off :(
santosromero718 1
I bet this is true.
GuessWhatKids 13
There once was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly, that everyone died. The End.
dan1234567 4
2nd wow this has been my goal a sad one
volley4eva1698 0
you're so cool I wanna be just like you!!!!
dan1234567 4
I know I'm pretty awesome
NYC_Yoshi 3
haha, epic chess set!
shybear15 0
i dont think you should babysit anymore... kids don't seem to like youu
OWNZ 0
No, they were obviously screaming with joy and went to the closet to get her a present! ;)
shybear15 0
true... good point
Randuhh_17 4
silly Santa....what's with you and presents?..:)
shybear15 0
lol
Redneck42 0
thanks for pointing out the obvious.
shybear15 0
welcome
NYkid2K8 5
Time for a new job?
Blackmail111 9
I can't help but think why everyone is ''Hiding in the closet"
tman188 0
37% of children don't come out of the closet until age 24.
swansung 0
So, you have a face for telemarketing... or cattle wrangling. Could be worse. Could be your kids.
goingsolo211 8
time for a new face
NeverShoutDana 13
Every kid is/was afraid of their babysitter at one time.. They can be creepy >_> I'd just give it time. Maybe they'll warm up to you.
foxyrambo 3
well when you look like you jumped out of a death metal band/zombie movie...
lovin_darkness 0
Ok Micheal Meyers, little tip: Try taking off the slasher clothes, putting down the knife and being friendly; maybe say hello
ashleey35 0
stupid.
green_eggs_and_h 0
28- That's not a very nice thing to say about yourself.
EmperorPsycho 0
I can't help but love your description about yourself
roeallen 11
Same here. Gotta love those sarcastic bastards.
rdvfyubuyg 1
wait so the person who sent this is a dude??? O.O
saIty 17
Maybe they thought you were Chuck Norris, and you were going to round-house their heads off.
LordGoober 13
That's a stupid idea... the kids wouldn't have had time to run.
saIty 17
Chuck gives everyone a 5sec head start.
LordGoober 13
That's just a myth, everyone he "gave a head start" is now dead so the world may never know.
foxyrambo 3
guys it's called a "head start" because when he kicks you, your head will be the first piece of you flying in the direction of said kick.