Today, my 5 year-old twin boys decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, I slipped on my son's Hot Wheels cars and fell onto a building made out of Lego. I now have a fractured tailbone and a broken wrist. I called my husband to tell him what happened and all he could do was laugh. My son didn't leave them on the floor, my husband did. FML
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
Today, I found a banana peel on the clean floor. My 4-year-old son said that he was playing Spider-Man and trying to slip. I picked it up and while walking to the kitchen garbage can, slipped on the actual banana. I slid across the kitchen floor, fell, and bruised my tailbone. He laughed. FML
Today, I was babysitting 3 toddlers. I wanted to entertain them by making them laugh, but nothing worked. Later on, I started down the stairs, but tripped and tumbled down. I realized I have broken my arm and bruised my knees. I also realized that kids think it's hilarious when you get injured. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, my son has a habit of picking on his little brother when in a bad mood. I heard a massive crash and found him out cold with his little brother holding a homemade slingshot and a bunch of rocks. Apparently, in school they just learned about David and Goliath. FML
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Top comments
shinicat 11
Silly kids, Batman and Spiderman can't fly. I hope they're ok though
fleg 9
How about you watch your children so stuff like that doesn't happen?
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Comments (332)
Leachica 0
You weren't watching your five year olds?! I hope Cps investigates you!!! And since they obviously went to the hospital bc of your neglagence they prob will. Parent of the freakin year.
Leachica 0
And also to the people that say it happens I have kids and yes it does but climbing on a shed?! Really?! Like I said pure neglect.
joa76 3
Simple explanations: They got out of bed early, before their parents were up (makes sense, given they were still in their pajamas). The mom was alone watching them and was in the bathroom or showering. The mom was sick and/or tired and the kids took advantage and ran off (trust me, it happens; you ever have those times when you're suddenly exhausted and miserable out of nowhere? try staying awake and attentive then). There's another child, either an infant or a sick older child, who was deemed as needing more attention at that moment (crying baby/distraught child or two kids who SHOULD be old enough to spend 20 minutes with minimal supervision?). These kinds of things happen. Some kids will take any opportunity to dash off, and it doesn't necessarily mean anything about the parents.
darenthomas 2
FYL, OP. Don't listen to the idiots claiming you're a bad parent. Kids do stuff. Let them learn from experiences like that. Be thankful nothing really bad happened. Don't be a helicopter parent! Kids need to figure out what works and what doesn't by themselves. But yes, FYL for twins!
ILEUX 3
Is it wrong that I laughed at this FML?
emtyler 1
parent of the year!!
papermasterer 0
Lol I'm a twin teenager (both male) and we used 2 see if we could fly with plastic bags off every thing.....
lenardisag 8
Hell yeah!!! Kids today are too obsessed with video games and Facebook to get out of the house and do stuff outside. It's good to hear some of them aren't a lost cause
FunnierOnPaper 9
OMG I was just about to disagree with everyone that said OP was a bad parent and needed to watch her kids more carefully, when my own 5yo, still in his pajamas, went to the bathroom and hit his head on the wall while he was peeing. Where was I? I should've been watching him take a leak because everyone knows a 5yo can't be out of a caregiver's sight to even urinate. I feel so much of a failure as a mom. I mean, who's kids hurt their heads while peeing? OP, shame shame I know your name.
FunnierOnPaper 9
That was sarcasm, BTW.
brina53 4
omg! I'm happy they're ok. just keep a better eye on them&this'll be a great story to tell when they grow up!lol
OfficeNinja 5
Kids understand pain. They will not do that again. Batman may have a broken arm - but batman also learned about the perils of gravity, and the consequences of a foolish action. We all learn best through mistakes :)
Vash_41288 10
Arkham city can be hell and so can the Edge of time