Today, it's the second day my wife hasn’t been to work at all, because a cashier called her ma’am instead of miss. Apparently, it’s the first time this has happened and she’s so upset that she might be visibly growing old that she’s been in bed for two days crying. We’re both only 27 years-old, FFS. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife is mad because some kid in a store offered her the seniors' discount and she got offended. I had to tell her she’s 66 years-old and is actually entitled to that discount, so she should calm the hell down. She’s not spoken to me in over 24 hours. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, for the third day in a row, my wife is bitching about her terrible birthday. She had messages wishing her a happy birthday from her friends instead of actual calls. Also, she knew that my pay comes in the day after, and she agreed to go shopping with me, as opposed to a present on the day. She is 54, going on 7. FML
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
Today, we are on our honeymoon, at a beautiful resort, and my wife has been in bed crying for two days. She won't talk to me, and every time I come in, she sobs harder and starts hyperventilating. This can't be a good sign. FML
Today, my wife, a married mum of three boys, with a full time job, and a mortgage, burst into tears because, “Five minutes ago I was 20 years-old, getting high and drunk, with oodles of money” and, “What the hell happened to my life?” Gee, I never knew I ruined her life so much. FML
Today, I almost got in trouble at work, all because I inadvertently referred to a 19 year-old patient’s 47 year-old husband as her father. I didn’t know this until she got so upset that she threw a tantrum, filed a complaint against me, and requested another nurse. FML
Today, my wife caught me crying over her miscarriage and she started yelling and screaming at me to "man up" because she should be the sad one, not me. FML
Today, I visited my son at work and found his secretary in the foetal position under her desk, crying. According to my son, she does that sometimes when he yells at her for making basic mistakes. My god, I’ve raised a high-powered corporate monster. Fuck that poor girl's life and also, FML
Today, it's been two weeks since my wife started her new job. She got overwhelmed and fell off the wagon on Monday. Instead of going to work, she spent the last week passed out drunk, and she'll probably get fired. We really needed that 100k a year she was going to make. FML
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Top comments
kfchicken 31
well at least you can be completely honest when you tell her she's still a child at heart
Warp1978 15
Tell her to get a grip, she's only going to get older is this how she's going to react to every little thing. Omg.
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Comments (8)
kfchicken 31
well at least you can be completely honest when you tell her she's still a child at heart
RichardPencil 32
How can you blame her? She's past her prime. As a guy, you probably won't be worth a shit for another 10 to 20 years. She's plummeting while you are gradually ascending.
Alan Staff 59
Sorry to derail the comments, but some dude keeps submitting FMLs like, "Today, I learned my comments aren't vanishing because of a glitch but because of moderators actively suppressing any information, insight, or ugly truth that doesn't fit their narrative, FML" and I'm kinda curious to know what the **** they're on about. So, mystery person, if you see this, please send me a PM because there's no conspiracy that I'm aware of.
Jon Tessler 14
it's the Rona' conspiracy, you need to turn to Q' to get the truth Alan......didn't you know that?
Alan Staff 59
Anyone using the word "narrative" usually makes me suspicious, so I'm guessing you're probably on the right track. It's all that 5G in the air!
JillianJuneBug 39
I wanted to reply directly to Alan’s comment but I don’t see the option to do so. I’m not the dude who keeps submitting those FMLs but I did get a comment removed years ago because I mentioned someone being from Tumblr (when it was still a cesspool) and the mods didn’t like that. There’s no debate that this is a pretty left leaning site so maybe that’s what they’re trying to refer to? Ah well, I think I’d give up after a while rather than double down and embarrass myself further by submitting vague FMLs like that.
Warp1978 15
Tell her to get a grip, she's only going to get older is this how she's going to react to every little thing. Omg.
Grateful @21 6
This New Generation🤦🏾♀️ Mam is a form of Respect..
historygrad74 19
She needs to grow up and grow a pair as well.
randybryant799 21
If she's been in bed crying for 2 days because of something that stupid I'd say she has mental health issues.
randybryant799 21
Good god. Could she possibly be more immature? She needs to get a grip.