Today, my 5 year-old twin boys decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, I slipped on my son's Hot Wheels cars and fell onto a building made out of Lego. I now have a fractured tailbone and a broken wrist. I called my husband to tell him what happened and all he could do was laugh. My son didn't leave them on the floor, my husband did. FML
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
Today, I found a banana peel on the clean floor. My 4-year-old son said that he was playing Spider-Man and trying to slip. I picked it up and while walking to the kitchen garbage can, slipped on the actual banana. I slid across the kitchen floor, fell, and bruised my tailbone. He laughed. FML
Today, I was babysitting 3 toddlers. I wanted to entertain them by making them laugh, but nothing worked. Later on, I started down the stairs, but tripped and tumbled down. I realized I have broken my arm and bruised my knees. I also realized that kids think it's hilarious when you get injured. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, my son has a habit of picking on his little brother when in a bad mood. I heard a massive crash and found him out cold with his little brother holding a homemade slingshot and a bunch of rocks. Apparently, in school they just learned about David and Goliath. FML
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Top comments
shinicat 11
Silly kids, Batman and Spiderman can't fly. I hope they're ok though
fleg 9
How about you watch your children so stuff like that doesn't happen?
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Comments (332)
mommykrissy_05 7
I have two kids 4yrs and 6yrs old. I do watch them like a hawk and the worst they have had is skinned knees and elbows or bruised shins.... However, kids are sneaky little runts! If they decide they want to jump off a shed they will find a way to do it. No matter how close you watch them. Kids will be kids arms get broken and bonks on the head happen! FYL OP
Okayitwasme 0
Some kids are doers and have to DO everything . I have son like that lucky me my other 2 are twin girls who actually don't Do everything they just watch then tattle latter lol. Try belong them find friends who are not Like that it helps. Also recommend lots of sports.
Lag_Hater 0
maybe you should pay better attention to your kids....no?
mytimeallthetime 0
Watch ur kids better
angel1234567 10
I'm on team batman!!!! I love batman
jaismiles123987 1
This is what we call operant conditioning. kid climbs roof, kid breaks arm, kid wont climb roof again. its not the parents fault, she could have been doing a motherly chore, such as cooking, cleaning, doing laundry? Most of the other commenters are ignorant..
MrsRamey 1
all of you people who are speaking negativley about the mother....are IDIOTS! shit happens! i like what #254 said...everyone who is speaking negativley about the mother needs to shut up and get over themselves....or have kids of their own...
coryking06 4
that's called bad parenting
Leachica 0
I meant to like it stupid iPhone. lol
fakkumairaifu 14
That sucks, OP, but kids will do these kind of things. I don't blame you; better let them learn for themselves what happens when they do this stupid shit than hover around them every waking moment of their lives.
xgetxbentx 13
Soo I agree kids do stupid things and you can watch them 24/7, but think about it, they're 5 and managed to get on top of a shed and jump off with no one noticing? It's not like they did something that takes two seconds. That probably took some time, mom should have been paying better attention.