Today, while working at a restaurant, an elderly lady stuck my tip in my back pocket as I was walking away. I wish I knew this before I'd thrown her to the floor for touching my hiney. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML
Today, while at work, a customer gave me a $20 tip. I explained to him we aren't allowed to accept tips, but he insisted. When I called the manager to report it, he pocketed my tip. FML
Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML
Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML
Today, while at work, a woman left her credit card at my register. I tried to return it before she left. Seeing her getting into her car, I jogged after her and yelled, "Wait." She ran over my foot. FML
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Top comments
Beck2209 0
Hey, elderly or young, female or male, I don't blame you at all.
omgwtftoni 0
it doesn't matter, her hands shouldn't have been anywhere near your butt.
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Comments (175)
Beck2209 0
Hey, elderly or young, female or male, I don't blame you at all.
crunchycereal 0
should took the old lady's purse and ran.
dcam13 19
yea don't you think that's just a little bit excessive? lol
IdontWanna69 8
Eh my first reaction to someone touching my ass wouldn't be immediately throwing them to the ground, but okay...
valalvax 13
maybe he thought she was a dude?
EvilPotato 15
well I mean that's a little much even if someone did touch your hiney.
MiGman 5
op might have thought the person was trying to pickpocket them
shoopd 19
Face it, if OP were a woman and it were an elderly man touching her ass to slip her a tip, you'd all be siding with OP completely. Way to go sexual equality...
EvilPotato 15
So please don't touch me there, that is my private square, R-A-P-E that's what old grannies did to me.
guckylynn 19
How do we know it's a guy?
baden18830 5
agree with assuming pickpocket. with where I work I would have done the same thing. tho I spend alot of my time surrounded by criminals and their families...
VinegarStrokes 0
Does anybody else think that it's super weird that this dude was modest enough to have referred to his ass as a "hiney" yet he was bold enough to tackle an old woman and risk seriously injuring her for having mistakenly groped him? Interesting moral choices buddy...
juicedboi 7
Your a douche for throwing an old lady to the ground regardless of the ground. Her actions didn't warrant that response, even if she had not been tipping you...
chaosdragn16 2
Most of you are just being pretty ignorant for saying it was wrong of OP to throw her. When in fact saying he "threw her" states that he trains in some form of martial arts. When you're trained then your body instinctively reacts to stuff like this, like some people are saying op probably thought they were being pickpocketed, so they reacted.
PsychoNinjaDuck 0
She should've just handed the money to her rather than trying to slip it into her pocket...
mikuxxhatsune 32
Maybe OP was doing something like helping other customers or writing down something amd she didn't want to stop him or distract him from whatever he was doing.
MissZoe62 4
stupid.
whiteboy7thst 2
Does granny think it's a strip club?
iReadFmlsFml 0
So is your comment
pinkp909 8
So is your picture
lilmisslovely13 15
Who's comment and who's picture????
brenkite 5
#2's
AninymousDoctorP 0
Look next time.
cheer4ever96 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
hope you're a guy. didn't they teach you not to have physical contact with the customers? ydi op
Carpy 8
You're an idiot. How could he control someone coming up behind him & touching his back pocket?
VitaLp 14
Err, yeah, I don't think she was referring to that part of the FML.
cheer4ever96 8
I meant when he freaked out and attacked the customer.
brenkite 5
Still, op thought he or she was being groped, perfect reason to attack.
omgwtftoni 0
it doesn't matter, her hands shouldn't have been anywhere near your butt.
srayray 5
I totally agree with you!!
carnage1108 0
You guys are ******* stupid.
gummybear1996 13
I agree but throwing her to the ground was a bit of an overreaction. I would have agreed with slapping her hand away or yelling at her
Pufferfish78 5
That is a little inappropriate. I would have freaked if someone touched my hiney too.
krysxkatastrophe 14
Jesus Christ! Was it really necessary to throw her to the floor?
DrJesse 10
whether OP is male or female its not a big deal.its not like the customer tried to buttfuck him/her.
norarabe 0
I agree
kici 10
doesn't matter if she did just touch your hiney, you shouldn't have thrown down with an old lady. what kind of @hole does that?
deathfyre8 13
OP didn't know until after the fact and could've thought somebody was pickpocketing them. I would've reacted the same way with no regrets.
franceypants 0
why would you throw some elderly lady to the ground? even if it was for touching your butt, it's still mean
sweet_candy_ 17
Do you not look before you hit someone?
Crazy4Christ 0
I don't either, if someone touches when I'm pissed... oops
Grimmerie 31
you will be left behind in the rapture. christ is not crazy 4 you.