Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML
Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had chewed up my brand new, expensive pair of shoes. I was so angry that I yelled at him and he cowered in fear. But then, as I looked at his sad little face, it dawned on me that I was the one in the wrong for getting so upset over something materialistic. FML
Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML
Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML
Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML
Today, I got back from a two-week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my roommate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML
Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML
Today, I opened my car door on reaching destination and my dog escaped. I never found him. My destination was the vet's office to get him micro-chipped. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I tripped on the leash, dropping his treat bag. He snatched one, looked at me, and ran full speed in the opposite direction. I had to chase him for three blocks, yelling his name. He thought it was a new game. FML
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Top comments
shorty6823 28
Probably hiding. I know my dog hides under our recliner and hides stuff she knows she shouldn't have taken, like a shoe.
perdix 31
These are the times that try men's soles!
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Comments (46)
LiveLoveLaugh8 4
This happened to me too when I was on vacation in Florida. I thought I would never see her again because I live many states away, and we were not going to be down there much longer. Hours after me and my family searched and searched, the neighbor came over and said my dog was swimming with her kids the whole time. The same week she took a nap under the chair in the living room of my cousins house in FL for hours and ignored our calls for her. I cried because I thought she was gone this time for good. We still have her now and she is 15years old.
Spectre529 12
I don't have a dog, but my cat does the same thing. Hides in a tight space that you would never look. I feel for you OP. griefed by your own pet
MissMess 12
Hmm. Replied to wrong comment...
Squeaky_Tomato 14
Be thankful your dog is safe. It's just a pair of shoes. Not something super important. Just shoes. Those are replaceable, dogs (and other companion animals) are not.
mojogirl 4
I would be relived my dog isnt MISSING. Smart dog tho my dog just looks innocent and chews quietly.
80skid 15
At least he wasn't missing?
crzysam96 7
At least you found him.
angeleyes8675309 7
Awww naww, snooks lost another pair of shoes. Waaahhhh. Thts what ya get for putting a muzzle on your dog when it's inside.
toblasc0sauce 5
Is this such a foreign concept? A muzzle is another name for a mouth. He had a shoe in his mouth.
Futacy 30
Who you gonna call!? DOG WHISPERER!!!!!!!
johnny_derp 3
this isn't an FML because you found your dog. you can buy new shoes but you can't replace a living thing.
thewife5 19
You muzzle your dog.. In your house.. Is that so he doesn't chew up anything?
moonwing 17
Muzzle is another word for mouth...
thewife5 19
Well if the dog was chewing new shoes I would assume the dog was chewing with his or her mouth, so why add the word muzzle?