Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML
Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had chewed up my brand new, expensive pair of shoes. I was so angry that I yelled at him and he cowered in fear. But then, as I looked at his sad little face, it dawned on me that I was the one in the wrong for getting so upset over something materialistic. FML
Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML
Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML
Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML
Today, I got back from a two-week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my roommate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML
Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML
Today, I opened my car door on reaching destination and my dog escaped. I never found him. My destination was the vet's office to get him micro-chipped. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I tripped on the leash, dropping his treat bag. He snatched one, looked at me, and ran full speed in the opposite direction. I had to chase him for three blocks, yelling his name. He thought it was a new game. FML
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Top comments
shorty6823 28
Probably hiding. I know my dog hides under our recliner and hides stuff she knows she shouldn't have taken, like a shoe.
perdix 31
These are the times that try men's soles!
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Comments (46)
mark1970 10
ROFL that sucks dude
jokinghazard 3
I'd just be happy that my dog is okay
lolzatyourprobz 12
Everyone acts like they should essentially dog-proof their house so their dogs don't tear up their stuff. When really, your dog is only doing exactly what you've trained him to do. So train him not to tear up shit! My four dogs have all been trained not to touch shoes or wires or anything else that isn't theirs. We leave stuff out alllll the time and they don't dare touch it. But then again, the dog is only as smart as the owner ;)
DEATHLORD_fml 16
Same happened with my tortoise.I looked for him,but he had again knocked down bricks and escaped.I looked for HOURS, in the burning hot California heat, only to find him under a plant he likes
LifeTrolls 16
at least you've got your dog!
suckstosuck 5
Why is ur dog home alone with its muzzle on? Do u know how dangerous that could be?