Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML
Today, I found the dog I lost while I was dog sitting. It was with its new adoptive family. FML
Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and asked if I'd seen her cat. I helped her search the hallway, basement, and garden for 30 minutes. We finally found it sitting inside my apartment, where I had apparently been living with it for three days without noticing. FML
Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML
Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML
Today, my dog somehow figured out how to open the sliding glass door while I was taking a nap. I woke up to a text from my neighbor, saying, “Your damn dog is running around at the park annoying a bunch of strangers for food. You might want to come and grab her.” FML
Today, I went to check if my neighbours were home to return their dog, having looked after her for a few days. I looked in the window and the place was empty. They'd moved house and stuck us with their dog. FML
Today, I got back from a two-week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my roommate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML
Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML
Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML
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Top comments
WhyAmUHere 19
Well, maybe the dog just wanted the cookie in her pocket.
The_9th_Doctor 18
umm wow. hell of a neighbor you've got there. just take your dog back.
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Comments (111)
noobpwn12321 6
Easy, just call the cops
Seaneration 5
How will they prove its theirs? Maybe the dog likes the neighbor better!
HotRose 18
@18, I don't know, photos maybe, or a vet record, adoption papers? Many different ways to prove an animal is yours. Also, unless OP lives in a unsafe environment and doesn't offer a clean suitable living space for the dog, it doesn't matter how much the dog likes the neighbor. How would you like it if someone took your pet, claimed it liked them better and was able to keep your pet because of this? Taking someone's animal is stealing, and to some it's like kidnapping. You don't take other peoples animals, ever.
Seaneration 5
I didn't say what she did was okay, I was just wondering how they might prove it. It was a dumb question but you don't have to be so rude about it.
iAlissa 34
#28 really wasnt rude about it, #30.
HotRose 18
Dumb questions within the top comments never go well on FML. You're going to be buried, might as well face it like a man, and be smarter next time.
Seaneration 5
I thumbed my own self down, don't worry. I don't mind looking like an idiot, it's all part of the game.
zandalee 20
Meh. Same thing happened to me once, but it was my boyfriend... I just told her to keep him.
Javier6597 19
How does one "find" their dog missing
VasNormandy 14
By arriving home to having no dog in the house when prior to leaving the house there was a dog. Le duh. I don't see the point in nit picking over a word that describes his experience perfectly well.
Goober244 12
Shut the **** up 94, you stupid picky ****.
The_9th_Doctor 18
umm wow. hell of a neighbor you've got there. just take your dog back.
golden_warrior 23
He did got his bitch back. Read the username
thehumanlyhuman 7
Looks like the doctor isn't at his best today...
The_9th_Doctor 18
I'm always at my best. I save worlds and face monsters. what do you do
thehumanlyhuman 7
Guess that's what I get for fooling with the doctor..
Caitie_kid 8
Yes, take your dog back, then take all her lawn ornaments and anything off her porch and put it all in your yard, home, or garage and claim that they're yours.
FireNinja 3
Wow, and here dogs where suppose to be loyal, what a traitor.
whopper_sr 7
I think it's trying to communicate... what should we do?
golden_warrior 23
Go away 22 with your played out jokes
Jezzikah 11
He never said the joke was his. A majority of the jokes I see on fml have been said before to.
Nyx_fml 23
Not to mention that this is actually a meme. I shall wait for Jazoo's public humiliation for "stealing" a joke as well.
whopper_sr 7
It's fun watching people get upset over such trivial things. Do your research before making baseless accusations like that. Leave it up to Tommy Tuffnuts to insult others over the anonymity of a computer screen.
westcoastkp 13
You all need more exciting lives. :P
AboveAll04 14
#60, you jus insulted him....over the internet, so you are just like him. Unless his name is tommy tuffnuts which would be an awesome last name!
awkwardloveannie 28
#39 I'm honestly curious did you go looking for the comment
Flowtastic 16
Well ain't that a lil awkward? Hopefully with actions like that, she won't be your neighbor for long.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Yes, because the neighbourhood watch will come and perform a hit on her, for intolerable social behaviour.
Flowtastic 16
Or you know she'd go to jail for stolen property... Then again I guess that's out of your realm of thinking.
WhyAmUHere 19
Well, maybe the dog just wanted the cookie in her pocket.
RedPillSucks 33
Yeah. That's how I ended up on her couch also.
Lizardgirl 7
I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!!!!!!
zed34 18
Make sure to call the cops and get your dog back OP. what a bitch neighbor
thatsdndn1 19
What a bitch!!
meetmadie 11
My neighbor did the same thing, except when we came looking for our dog, she said she hadn't seen her, then when we circled back around we saw her walking our dog with her own dogs. When we got her back, she sent a letter to our mom a few days later explaining how to take care of our dog so she wouldn't "run off again". Crazy dog ladies are everywhere.
Shilokitten666 19
And here i thought us cat people were crazy, turns out we all are lol
henrylikestreats 22
Judging by the name, OP did, in fact, get his/her bitch back.
beautiful_hope 16
Please tell us you got your dog back. I'd have punched her in the face & taken him back.
Seaneration 5
He did tell you that, pay attention.
sarah6786 14
read the name!
DFresh503 8
Or, instead of assaulting the lady, he could have just called his dog by her name (OP called it a bitch so I assume female) and that could've solved it? I mean, if the dog didn't come once you called it, that's when you attack, ransack, and run!!!
UsernameHere234 13
Wow that's aweful. Your name though implies a happy ending to the story which I hope occured.
iSativa 24
She seems to be barking mad! Anybody? No? Alright then..
jw90 18
Take it back and say it's mine now.
rocker_chick105 31
But it's always been their dog..