Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
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Top comments
Beakner4564 2
That just made my day
jkmartinjk 16
Earplugs? Also, noseplug.
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Comments (90)
jkmartinjk 16
Earplugs? Also, noseplug.
loloalltheway 23
Their is a thing called noseplugs?
mduffy08 8
There* - and yes.
perdix 31
#1, that's three things (assuming the noseplug is a clip like swimmers use), which is three times the items necessary since one buttplug would solve the problem! Simplify!
Kkkiana 7
My fiancé snores just as loudly. I bought the highest decibel rated ones I could find, and can still hear him..
lilhellian 27
20 Are they solid (like a hard material) and do they form to your ears?
license2chill 5
No the earplugs don't work, and the nose clip thing too from TV commercials, my old folks tried them all. Snore noise is a low frequency noise, it has really strong penetration strength. My mom said she used to whack my dad at sleep because of his intolerable noise, just to interrupt the snore and get a momentary peace.
Kkkiana 7
26 - they're foam and form to my ear 31 - yep, I do that too lol
cacheson 42
Snoring is typically just the tongue partially closing off the back of the throat and the sound is the vibration of the tongue against the throat when breathing. A nose plug would not solve it, because they would just continue to snore out of their mouth.
completenonsense 16
I think #1 meant nose plugs for the OP
Beakner4564 2
That just made my day
U_GotitDude 18
I think he might have been fake sleeping and he just farted on purpose. Anyway, FYL OP
EsotericBrent 29
Nah 53, YDI OP for tryin' to disturb the man's sleep!
obnum 19
Haha that actually made me laugh out loud. He must've felt really good after that fart. ;)
AbstraktThoughts 13
Give him some laxatives before bed next time as revenge! >:] you'll be able to get some sleep while he's busy in the bathroom :D
cliffibom 15
Or then he will shit the bed
jayhawkchik 4
What if he doesn't wake up in time and craps the bed?.. Then op is Also not getting any sleep . Andy if he snore loud, can you imagine what OTHER functions he does loudly? Also he's a guy and we all know that when guys get sick, they have to moan about it all damn day& night= no sleep for op. Just put him on the couch.
TheDeafWalrus 8
#23, Your grammar burns my eyes.
sexxxysydney 14
Why would she seek revenge for something he has no control over? I mean, if it was something he was doing on purpose, then okay. But that's not his fault.
loloalltheway 23
#4- Dammit I wrote that first then changed it to their... Ok I didn't know thanks for telling me :)
Shirley_Nicole11 5
Are you shure he's asleep or is he faking?
pieman528 10
Shure? Really?
freshberries22 17
My boyfriend does this to me all the time when he sleeps and it is extremely irritating. My boyfriend shifts in his sleep to fart on me so he doesn't have to smell it. He is also a loud snorer so I suggest getting earplugs and nasal strips for your man. There's not much else you can do sorry op.
zombieslayer83 19
next time don't push on his stomach.
perdix 31
Now, that's your "asshole move" on both the literal and figurative senses. Well played, sir!
firefighter925 18
I see what u did there
empath 20
If it bothers you that much you should talk to him about nasal strips.
ManInTheMachine 20
Have you confronted him about his snoring issue? Going through the same process every night without telling him isn't going to accomplish much. Let him know, and buy him some nose strips. Communication is key, OP!
Brandi_Faith 34
There are also those mouth guards out there for snoring and many other snoring products he could try. Not to mention that snoring is often a sign of sleep apnea.
Catkam623 27
You know what they say don't wake a sleeping snorer and now you know why.