Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML
Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had chewed up my brand new, expensive pair of shoes. I was so angry that I yelled at him and he cowered in fear. But then, as I looked at his sad little face, it dawned on me that I was the one in the wrong for getting so upset over something materialistic. FML
Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML
Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML
Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML
Today, I got back from a two-week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my roommate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML
Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML
Today, I opened my car door on reaching destination and my dog escaped. I never found him. My destination was the vet's office to get him micro-chipped. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I tripped on the leash, dropping his treat bag. He snatched one, looked at me, and ran full speed in the opposite direction. I had to chase him for three blocks, yelling his name. He thought it was a new game. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shorty6823 28
Probably hiding. I know my dog hides under our recliner and hides stuff she knows she shouldn't have taken, like a shoe.
perdix 31
These are the times that try men's soles!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (46)
mduffy08 8
Luckily I have my master ball.
SmallBean 12
14, You gonna catch em all?
FlyingPie 17
That bites.
howdeedoo 22
No, the dog does
FlyingPie 17
Yeah, that's basically why what I said is called a pun.
poccocurantes 7
He was just hanging out chewing some nice Italian leather. He didn't know what the he'll you wanted. Then you assumed he must be missing. I take it you're kind of a glass half full guy.
poccocurantes 7
*girl.
crazytwinsmom 25
Next time check the house more thoroughly. And hide your good leather stuff.
RedPillSucks 33
hide yo shoes, hide yo purse!!! They be chewin' stuff up in here!!!
Enslaved 38
Oh no! Not the shoes!
buckdharma 38
I got a visual of op wandering the streets, barefoot and looking desperate, passionatley calling out for her lost dog,''Penis.''
poccocurantes 7
*previous FML.
SuperDanielNL 23
Your dog's a bastard...
cartedor 18
Wow, very quiet dog. Making no sound, very spy like.
outoftown 27
Well, the dog's mouth was full, and he didn't want to be impolite.
Reaper1984 13
dog gone it OP...