Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going for a relaxing walk but my dog broke free from his leash. At the same time, my 80 year-old neighbor was leaving her apartment. My dog ran inside her home and she screamed. I ended up in her bedroom, running around her bed, chasing my dog who was trying to get at her pantyhose. FML
Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML
Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML
Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, I woke up on the last day of my vacation at the beach to find that my dog had chewed a hole in the wall of my rented house, 2 hours before the owner arrived to check for any damage. FML
Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, while dogsitting for a friend, I took their overly excitable dog to the park. The moment I unleashed him, he bolted, and I ended up chasing him for what felt like miles. When I finally caught him, I was covered in mud and my pants had a huge tear in them. FML
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Top comments
JamJarBinks 20
train your dog to behave properly
Shzusuziq 16
So you normally leave him tied up outside all night? That’s just wrong!
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Comments (14)
JamJarBinks 20
train your dog to behave properly
Charlie Given 28
Sounds like your dog is in heat
RichardPencil 32
Males don’t go into heat. Learn biology.
MamaChey 24
Just don’t procreate. Please. Society cannot handle your lack of discipline.
RichardPencil 32
*half-eaten. Half-ate is four (or for?) I don’t think the cat feared only the butt-sniffing.
jbuckets_404 39
A steel chain will solve the chewing + plenty of outdoor exercise/ walking, a chew toy, and a car crate indoors will solve the rambunctiousness.
Shzusuziq 16
So you normally leave him tied up outside all night? That’s just wrong!
pins91 27
Are... are you saying you leave your dog tied up when it’s outside? :(
sallygee 9
from the sounds of this you usually keep your dog tied up outside. you don't deserve to have a dog. keeping it tied up outside is cruel. ydi
Sinshine 28
Does that mean you normally just your him to something outside and leave him there on his own? No wonder he's not behaving...
Kim Reid-Lowe 6
There's these awesome inventions called crates. And if you would train your dog instead of just leaving him tied up like a friggin yard ornament it would help