Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
Today, I was taking a shower with my girlfriend when she 'complimented' me by saying, "You’re cute, like a rat." FML
Today, I went to get a haircut. The hairdresser at the counter was kind of cute, so I had to say something non-standard. When she greeted me with her hello, I replied, "Guess what I need from you today?" She looked at me, considered, and replied, "An eyebrow wax?" FML
Today, after months of planning, I finally got my first tattoo: my cat's paw print. I love it so I showed my friends pictures. One said it looks like poop and the other said it looks like I have a disease. FML
Today, I was struggling through small-talk at a party where I knew nobody. Tattoos came up and I started talking about trendy, girly tattoos like feathers, anchors and infinity signs with stupid words in them. Turns out the girl I was talking to had all three. FML
Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML
Today, I got a haircut at a fancy salon and made small talk with the stylist. While she washed my hair, I said, “Wow, this is better than my girlfriend does it.” She replied, “That’s because I’m a professional. Also, I’m your girlfriend’s cousin.” FML
Today on my birthday, my wife thought it would be a good idea to get matching tattoos. Our tattoo artist happened to be her ex-boyfriend. I sat and listened to them talk about their relationship and how they should stay in touch. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to ask my workmate about her tattoo. She's been in the office for 4 months and I'd always wondered why she had a red cheese grater tattooed on her arm. So I asked. Turns out it's a lady's shoe. She walked away from me and never talked to me again. FML
Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML
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Top comments
gracehi 33
The ugliest wolf ever...
AFaye3964 17
Somebody did a bad job, if you thought it was rat.
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Comments (113)
gracehi 33
The ugliest wolf ever...
angeluv_2014 22
F her life...
Helpfulman 17
I still don't see how OP's life is ******. Maybe the stylist but definitely not OP.
dabears1011234 27
Agreed
BirdieCurls 25
Unless OP was really thinking rats were wolves and wolves were rats their whole life and then found out just then that a wolf was not a small rodent?
gracehi 33
I think she must have been embarrassed.
FMLniick 8
Either the ugliest wolf or the greatest rat.. It's all perspective. hahah
flufee2 27
That must have been howls
davincidasecond 24
Not sure where you were going with that one ...
kinky44 28
Are you kidding me? That pun was howlarious!
warsun 27
Yours wasn't
meepmerp 20
#41 High five for trying!
ImTheAlpha 30
What were you even trying to say? I think puns still should be understandable?
Rababco 29
Do you mean, "that must have been howlible"?
lil_lach 6
????
AFaye3964 17
Somebody did a bad job, if you thought it was rat.
abhi95 31
Really? You got all that by just reading the FML.. You must be an intellectually superior alien lifeform..
Flowtastic 16
29 - yeah pretty much the whole Fml community but you got that...
KK3137 31
Oh, sweet, oblivious 29... We're all intellectually superior alien lifeforms! Some are just more superior than others..
Zougibourg_fml 6
Well she's actually Captain obvious
abhi95 31
When will the world get over being stupid and begin to comprehend sarcasm!? The thumbs down actually makes me feel intellectually superior.. Thank you! ;)
shay_serendipity 29
#72,
shay_serendipity 29
#72, if your 'sarcasm' wasn't clear enough, that you had to explain and point it out, then you aren't as "intellectually superior" as you hold yourself to be. Did using those big words make you feel smarter? And when will the world get over being cocky and arrogant? You are a fine example that, that time may be never. You self-centered humanoids, it's only a matter of time until us alien life forms take over...
Flowtastic 16
72 - about the same time when your "sarcasm" actually resembles that. Until then, what you hold yourself to be, and what you actually project to this "unintelligent" world may be two very different things
Zougibourg_fml 6
Well I don't get why people don't understand it's sarcasm because for me it's quite obvious...
shawnsavage 9
Captain obvious here to save the day
rhysfucker 24
That must be a fat wolf.
AnonymousFunFMLs 18
Not all rats are fat...
Soviet_American 29
Idk, what OP was thinking but, haha this FML really made me laugh. But, that must have been one bad ass looking rat.
Thinkitthrough 23
... And now she isn't cool? I'm trying to see what is so bad but I can't. Is it just that you feel dumb for mistaking a wolf for a rat? If so I just don't understand why your life is ****** up.
junkman6 22
Pissing off the person who cuts your hair is never a good idea. Painful personal experience talking there. Maybe the stylist wasn't pissed or maybe she's just plotting revenge for next time? I'd be afraid if I was OP.
limabeans101029 21
I'm guessing it's the embarrassment of making the mistake. If the tattoo looked that much like a rat, it was probably a pretty awful tattoo. By complimenting the stylist on her rat tattoo, OP was basically (unintentionally) pointing out to the stylist that the tattoo doesn't look like what it's supposed to look like. Probably quite awkward.
slipstreak 10
I have a feeling that she's going to regret that tattoo later in life.
thevelociraptor 31
I'm thinking that she started to regret it when OP thought it was a rat. Plus he is probably not the only one.
teentee401 37
"No ragrets"
molzipan 16
#61 not even one letter?
NeatNit 33
it's going to bother me for the rest of the day that you said "no ragrets" instead of "no regrats". :(
moocow398 6
How is that an FML?
mattrd_fml 31
agreed
JKPwnage 27
...so?
tony1891 22
rat....wolf. they really do look the same. Seriously. if you couldn't distinguish what it was I'd be telling Someone to find a new tattoo artist
RedPillSucks 33
Too late?
tony1891 22
not if they decide to get another tattoo. which most likely will be.