A tale as old as time
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I was excited because tomorrow I was going to lose my virginity. I just used the bathroom; I got my period. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. I also found out the side effects of my antidepressants: It's hard for me to get it up, and I can't orgasm. When I finally got it up, I went so long, it ended with her saying, "Yeah, you should stop now, I'm numb." FML
Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML
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Top comments
Emmy_m92 0
Apparently, you couldn't rise to the occasion.
hondabikez 2
it normal! it happens!
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Comments (245)
blahzz 4
Chuck Norris can get it up. Why can't you?
itsyoboyricky 0
shut up
Awnonymous 4
It happens to the best, you'd be surprised how common it is. You got to be relaxed and comfortable with the situation rather than rush it thinking you're finally going to lose your virginity.
sk3l370n 0
try with a human next time
BlakeeeDrummer 0
maybe ur gay
EvilPrince_fml 0
You're jerkin' it too much, Low Rider. Stop spunkin' all over yourself by looking at **** and sniffing your sister's cunterware.
chooch556 0
haha
xstaticdelta 6
win.
randomxoxo 0
Have you though about maybe your gay? Im not judging. I like the homosexuals in our community:)
generalasskicker 12
lol did you plan it it's always harder for me to plan it no pun intended
123e3 0
hahahahhahahahaha I even get a boner when Im alone with the girl and just talking! sucks for you!
idratherbeincali 0
^ eww. you should get that checked out
iheartowls 0
That's what happens to 15 yr. old little boys that have no self control.
123e3 0
hahahahahahahahahahaha
that1guyyy 12
he's asking what op is talking about not what op stands for