A tale as old as time
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I was excited because tomorrow I was going to lose my virginity. I just used the bathroom; I got my period. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. I also found out the side effects of my antidepressants: It's hard for me to get it up, and I can't orgasm. When I finally got it up, I went so long, it ended with her saying, "Yeah, you should stop now, I'm numb." FML
Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML
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Top comments
Emmy_m92 0
Apparently, you couldn't rise to the occasion.
hondabikez 2
it normal! it happens!
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Comments (245)
gatiivs 3
it tends to happen when you are stressed out so its ok if its your first time
schankdawg 0
try the opposite sex
golfchick84 0
maybe you should wait til you hit puberty:)
stonegen 0
good for you save it for the person you marry!
Hdama 2
It really doesn't matter, and jokes at the OPs expense doesn't help. It happens to everyone at some point in their life for various reasons. Hell, it happened to me the first time i tried, its natural.
TobyFunke 3
I think the opposite is natural, being a little too excited your first time and blowing it the second you get it in. If you can't get it up, why are you trying to have sex??? To me, if something sexy is going on, I'm ready to go
WillKill4Beer 0
LMFAO!!!! YOU SUCK AT LIFE!!!! Go haze yourself for that until you get it up! Freaking loser!!!!! >XP
moosemonkey1000 6
******* **** go drown in a puddle
Yeah_Thats_Me 0
lol I love the name! Flopsy
julian1122 0
lmffaaoo you fruitcake!!! I'm glad I'm not you! and for other guys saying "it's okay, it doesn't happen" you're all gay! it doesn't happen, if there's a girl willing to **** you, you get it up. so either you're gay or you've got a small dick and you're too embarrassed that she'll laugh at it when you get it up
Technocidal 0
16 IS A WINRAR