Today, a woman slipped on the ice in front of me. Instinctively, I caught her before she fell. Instead of thanking me, she whirled around and asked me if my *expletive* mother had taught me to grope women inappropriately. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML
Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML
Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her, "Get the fuck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML
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Top comments
Lolzords 11
You should have groped her appropriately.
DEXter501 0
How inconsiderate of her.
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Comments (75)
DEXter501 0
How inconsiderate of her.
Daileyyy 0
First! jk I'm like 32nd.
Marvin_Android 0
Sounds frustrating. Expecting to get anything other than contempt out of helping others is even more pointless than the rest of life. I've saved my traveling companions' lives several times, and they forget about it each time within moments. I don't know why I bother. Life. Don't talk to me about life.
DrAwesome 6
Hey, being able to sweep women off of their feet ain't all it's cracked up to be anymore...
brightnite 0
Drop her, if she already got up trip her.
flamegrilled123 3
push her bitch ass back on the floor then t-bag her
BDTM 0
win ^
mamamiaaa_fml 12
you say "oh my no. here let me grope you appropriately."
alakomonus 0
^
KurtCobainsZombi 0
well what else is a manic depressive robot to do Marvin?
satanclauz 0
yes, totally would have been my reaction. "wtf? really? OOPS!" crack goes her head on the ice... "my bad"
Riverweasel 1
That is where I simply allow her to finish her fall with a little help to negate the help I gave her to stop her fall. Inconsiderate people should get what is coming and in that case, what was coming was a date with the ground.
Gamessence 19
Women only act this way if a guys ugly. eck double standards.
Lolzords 11
You should have groped her appropriately.
KelceyLoves 0
Good point.
xo_mrii_xo 0
yeah really
sexiilittlething 6
sometimes when yu r reactin fast u dont look where u jst wanna make sure person dsnt fall
jckbco 0
agree
philtheawesome 0
if a random woman falls.... were do you even grab her to catch her???
DocBastard 40
I would think your weird Uncle Rick would have taught you inappropriate groping. What, I'm the only one with a weird Uncle Rick?
Emmy_m92 0
I have a weird uncle that's a dick. Strange Eh =
mfmylifesrsly 30
I have a Uncle Rik...he's dead though :( RIP
MrDanimal 0
I have a weird dick.. oh wait...
autumnnn14 0
I have a weird uncle dick.,
KingDingALing 9
My dick's name is Uncle Rick.
Emmy_m92 0
Is it a quick dick named Rick?
ifyouseekamy666 0
my brain hurts...
KiddNYC1O 22
A thick tick on uncle Rick's dick
omfgrofl1337 0
I've got my dick on Uncle Rick... Oh wait..
wwerulez14 6
C-c-c-combo breaker! Just wanted to be that guy, please carry on.
Infosys 0
Doc, Yttrium Deuterium Iridium would be a chemical anomaly. Those are all cations.
Cinn_fml 23
That's part of the joke, I think. Also, it wouldn't stand for Iridium anyway, I is Iodine in the periodic table. :P
Ugi 27
I have a weird ankle due to rickets - does that count?
RileyL29 0
people are so rude.
luvzit 0
so are u
mjcdsjf 0
It amazes me how people can act. The only reason some people live is because it is illegal to kill them
paprikacha 9
And then you dropped that bitch right back on the ice. Right?
Tanner2969 1
he better have lol
PimpcessA 0
Hell yes
popprock 13
I laughed really hard at that xD I certainly would have. I mean I don't plan on catching falling women any time soon though...
thisgirl2u 9
You could have confessed that yes indeed, your mother had taught you to "inappropriately grope women" as you catch them and prevent them from falling. Because your mother is just good people like that.
MarineWifey88 3
Lol!
kinderteach 0
hahaha!! I love that!
Miolene 6
What a bitch. I hope she slips again and that no one is around to catch her, groping or otherwise, and that she sprains her ankle or something else thats painfull but not life threatening. I would have had to reply, "and did yours teach you that filthy language?"
Angie_69 0
yep
perdix 31
Unfortunately, your instinct was to catch her by the **** and say "Honk."
White_Fury 0
I thought this too. lol
Zaros_fml 24
Winner.
capnbzarr 43
Should've asked if her ******* mother had taught her to thank people who do you a favor.
lindsey37 0
^ yes
Trace01m 11
should've said, "Nope. Yours did."
youfailed18 0
win^^
Nutz321 0
^win