Almost there
Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML
Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity, all while in the passionate throes of an asthma attack. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
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Top comments
TrippingOnAcid 29
The ultimate cockblock
JMichael 26
You poor poor bastard...
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Comments (86)
TrippingOnAcid 29
The ultimate cockblock
ladytigerhunts 20
Thanks a lot, hernia.
uglyheadedbitch 20
For ***** ache XD
leviheichou 15
Wow that must have been a terrible experience. Hope you feel better soon OP
4evervirgin 6
"69" thumbs ups
JMichael 26
You poor poor bastard...
mrtonyanderson 20
A hernia at 31? That's rough. Get better!
ash_1020 6
You can get hernia at any age. My cousin was 12 when she had a hernia
sydstoomuch 19
You don't get comment....
stronghand0331 17
#43 do you love lamp as well?
ohSNAPyall 27
A virgin at 31? That's rough too!
kingcaper817 14
Oh no 31 there are people In my grade (8th) who have lost it but frankly I think that's pretty disgusting oh well sorry op
cadillacgal79 32
I'm pretty sure no one has lost it yet at my school (I'm in the same grade as you) but there are these two really slutty girls,and they are disgusting. I find it disgraceful that that there are kids younger than us losing it.
thebigtwinkie 28
there are girls like that pretty much in every school, the only thing is that people have to control them
thebigtwinkie 28
and by people i mean parents, teachers or less slutty friends
kingcaper817 14
IK! Ugh j just think it's so disgusting the people who have lost it think it's normal but it's really not it's just gross and slutty
Algorithm 24
Why do any of you feel entitled to judge other people for a personal choice that doesn't hurt anyone else? And by "people" I mean women. Because typical double standards.
Khaleesi_26 30
I think the people who are saying its gross is because teenagers are losing thier virginity and then sleeping around and being slutty on purpose. And quiet frankly it is a choice that hurts people because younger people are now at a higher risk for STD's and passing it around. It would be different if it was like the middle ages where we were married off at 15/16 and staying with one person. But if I'm wrong than I'm wrong.
cjwayy 22
Oh my god people stop ****-shaming. Stay out of other people's sex lives.
CoffeeChickBlows 13
ITT: a bunch of whiny kids going "ewwwieeee" to cover up their jealousy that other people are getting laid and they aren't. Grow up
Godsofdracos 15
I'm sorry but I'll **** shame a person under 16 all I want to. You want to dress like a ****, act like a ****? You can bear the shame of being that **** regardless of your age. Before you call me a hypocrite, I'm a man *****. I'm also 23. The girls that they're so called **** shaming are in 8th grade. That's 13-15 depending on academic success. Stop enabling teen moms, shame the stupid young *****.
Khaleesi_26 30
For the record i wasn't agreeing with the **** shamers i was pointing out that that might be their way of thinking.
Tankkiller308 16
Hay could be worse my old middle school we had to girls drop out because they were pregneant in the 7th grade and one is pregneant again in the 9th grade last year
kingcaper817 14
Nope I'm pretty sure it's just cuz it's inappropriate to lose your virgnity at 13
cadillacgal79 32
I'm sorry I shouldn't have said gross, I should've said scary. I haven't even as so far as kissed my boyfriend yet, and I've heard freaky stories one which kids younger than me are losing it. There are these two girls, who just are really inappropriate. A lot of girls in my grade have small or no breasts, these two happen to have Cs, on picture day, let's call her girl A was wearing a tight fitting, really low cut, really short dress. Her breasts were hanging out, yet she didn't get coded. All guys in my grade said what she was wearing was very disgusting. I wouldn't say I'm **** shaming but I have an idea of what modesty is. Sorry if I'm offending anyone.
Axel5238 29
This is for woman and men. Being sexually promiscuous is not healthy and not something to find pride in. You have every right to engage your own body in self destructive behavior but its not my duty to affirm you in that. STD rates are up CDC issued a report that by 2050 80% of the 25 and under population will have an STD they can't get rid of. Those are pretty frightening odds.
Mauskau 36
And that is why schools in the UK and some other countries have uniforms, so people don't come in to school dressed like ****** at the age of 12. They still dress like it outside of school though.
Just_A_Tree 20
The only real thing that is disturbing about younger generations losing their virginity, is that they don't think of it as "I could end up being a parent because of this, and I'm not ready. And how will this effect both my life and theirs in the near and far future?" They just think "this feels good, I like it, and I want more." Honestly, some people say it doesn't effect people mentally. It does. Women (generally) experience sex in a different emotional way than men do. I've had friends come to me for help with serious issues that came from having sex at a younger age than they were ready for, while the guys were better than ever and ready to bounce to the next girl. I personally couldn't care less about what you and someone else choose to do. The only time where it could be considered my problem is if I'm entering in a relationship with you after. If you ask me for my honest opinion, I'll give it to you. But other than that, I firmly believe that the only person who can truly judge you for your choices is God. And even then, forgiveness is still an option. (Sorry about putting religion in here). And as a virgin, to those who think that the reason we don't like how people around are losing their virginity is that we are jealous. Get off your high horse. I'm not jealous of a choice that I could make in my own life. I'm annoyed with hearing how I'm so weird for not having sex, and that I'm a pussy for not trying to get in a girls pants. If you don't want me to say anything or judge you for your choice, then the least you can do is the exact same!
badluckalex 23
who are you replying to? lol
angeluv_2014 22
I lost mine at age 11. Not saying that's normal, but in the end everyone makes their own decisions and decides how to deal with them. It's no one else's place to tell someone what they can/can't do with their body and when.
kingcaper817 14
That's ****** up 11!!! Yikes
marcus3695 3
63, only person who's like me, honestly i could care less right now considering im only 16 and have many more years to have sex with someone
higgysaurus 18
We have completely gone off topic haha
lynds71 12
Everyone has their own reasons for being a ****.
mangoboy1 19
it's a biological instinct for men not to like slutty girls because the more partners she has the more likely it is that you're going to raise a child that isn't yours and that is the epitome of evolutionary failure. and the double standard exists because getting sex is easy for women and hard for men and also the purpose of organisms is to pass on genes and it doesn't help a woman to have multiple partners it's still only 1 baby every 9 months.
oneninetysix 8
we have uniforms at my school and the girls get their pants tailored to be super tight the tuck in the shirts during summer or they wear it with no shirt under which u cant do because it has a low V neck
possiblyapotato 10
@11 someone watched too much ****
trellz17 19
Maybe that was a sign.
ShadowlessSpear 21
A sign that OP is a wizard?
sarah5745 41
Of what?
TrippingOnAcid 29
Virginity
Iceberg86300 14
A sign to become a Priest.
trellz17 19
I was too lazy to think of anything clever.
JuliusSeizure 18
Looks like the Universe has decided abstinence for you... In all seriousness though I hope you get treated and it doesn't trouble you for too long OP!
ceelos97 16
Man the world really doesn't want you to lose your virginity
a_wiener_d0g 15
That's gotta be the worst luck ever
llamarrama01 21
There's plenty of people who are a little late on those things. I've still never even kissed anyone.
Hiktmae 20
How old are you?
JayVicious 20
didnt you sex a angel in the back seat of the impala?
llamarrama01 21
She didn't have her grace, so not an angel lol. Still was good.