Today, I went to my boss with concerns that my manager is dumping her responsibilities on me. He agreed and told me to just do whatever she wants. She gets paid twice as much as me to talk on her cellphone all day. FML
Today, our art teacher told us we will have to build a giant Coca-Cola bottle made of smaller ones as our art project for next week, meant to represent the damage consumerism does to our environment. I think he doesn’t understand we will have to buy tons of Coke to get the bottles needed. FML
Today, I helped my orchestra teacher out and played with a double quartet for a faculty meeting. When it came time to introduce us, he called out the names of the seven other students and then admitted in front of everyone that he'd forgotten my name. I've been one of his top students for 3 years. FML
theinfiniteend tells us more.
Nah, he's not a jerk. I'm not too mad, it was just kinda embarrassing at the time. Anyway the guys always been really forgetful and disorganized, plus he's retiring this year too so I guess I'm not hugely surprised lmao
Today, my manager challenged me to make two big sales at work. Seeing as customers spend a lot of money in our store, I decided the challenge was fairly easy and accepted. She immediately started stealing all of my sales. FML
Today, I found out that one of my colleagues believes that aliens built the pyramids. No amount of logical reasoning or evidence has had any effect on his argument of, "but you can't prove they didn't." FML
Today, it was another stressful day of watching servicemen at my job trying to figure out what broke an extremely expensive and essential machine. I'm just waiting for the day they finally discover the earring I dropped into it about a week ago FML
Today, I received a letter telling me I'm not qualified for a job I've been unofficially doing for the last three years. It's the fourth letter I've gotten since applying. I guess it wouldn't be too bad if I didn't have to train the new person who got the job instead of me. FML
Today, in the class I'm teaching, I assigned my students an essay to complete for homework. One student asked me if I was deducting points for bad spelling. I teach English. FML
Today, I gave my boss two weeks notice for me leaving work, as I had received a better job offer with twice the pay. I thought he took it well until I heard him mutter under his breath, "About fucking time." FML
Today, my drill sergeant found out it's my birthday. I spent the rest of the day scrubbing large, filthy pots for the entire base of 2000+ and scrubbing grime off of bathroom walls. Happy birthday to me! FML
Today, while working at my job at a lumber/hardware store, my coworker told me he was taking an hour break instead of the usual half-hour. Not only did he leave me with a store packed with customers on Customer Appreciation Day, but he never came back until closing time. FML
Today, at work I did inventory with my boss. He did the top shelves and I did the bottom ones. By the end, my knees were dirty and sore. I went home and my roommate asked me how my day went. I absent-mindedly said, "My boss had me on my knees all day." He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
inappropes tells us more.
inappropes 31
As soon as I said it I realised the implications and just had to laugh. We both got a good chuckle out of it. I thought it would do the same for all of you so I thought I would share.
Today, I woke up from an erotic fantasy about my boss. Today was also the day he wanted to have a nice long chat about my future with the company. I couldn't even look him in the eye. FML
sangoskywalker tells us more.
Hi guys, OP here. First I want to say how amazing you all are, and to thank you for your hilarious comments. I feel like I should be saying something about how I didn't expect this to be published, but since getting an FML published is the point of submitting it, I won't. For reference, the "position" we were discussing would actually make him not my boss anymore, so to 2, 4, 5, 6 & 7--no. And shit, 11, I'm sorry! Mine was just awkward not scary! 13, I personally think he's very attractive, have since I joined his team, but everyone has their own tastes. Finally, yes, it is still awkward even days later. Thanks!
Today, while driving to a client's home, I received a text. Since I loathe those who text and drive, I pulled into a convenience store's parking lot. While I was texting, a car sped into the lot, rear-ending my car. FML
Today, I almost got our office burned down by plugging the wrong charger into a laptop cooling fan. Tried to hide the incident and kept it casual but the smoke detector led it to my area and everyone knew I was the culprit. I'm a new hire too. FML
Today, I got in trouble with my boss for doing what she wanted me to do. I guess she didn't think I would do it, so she did it herself. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home from a trip early without telling me. When I got to his house and saw his car there, I texted him and said, "Oh you asshole". About five minutes later, I got a text from my boss asking if that text was for him. FML
DuckyDew tells us more.
DuckyDew 3
OP here. Just a few things I'd like to clarify: 1. We both live with our parents, and we have a dog together. I had been taking care of his dog while his parents were at work, before I had to go to work myself. He told me his mom rushed out of the house that morning without letting out our dog, and asked me to get there ASAP. So, when I got there, I saw he was home a few days earlier than anticipated. Turns out it was his way of surprising me, which was super sweet. 2. We're on a level where calling each other asshole, dick, and other such things is fine — it's more of a term of endearment at this stage. 3. I'm lucky enough that, once I explained to my boss what happened, he just laughed and told me to make good choices. Thank God for understanding bosses!
Today, the laziest person in my department came and complained to me, while I was working, that they didn't know why we were so far behind today. Then they went to chat to their friend for 45 minutes. I know why. FML
Today, I started my first day at work. When I used the bathroom, I thought I was peeing into the bowl but it was actually leaking out. My pants kindly cleaned up the mess. FML
Today, I worked from 8 to 7 without a break and I'm still not done with my assignment. Meanwhile, my coworker crafted a piece of paper looking like a watermelon slice and posted a picture of herself seemingly taking a bite out of it. FML
Today, I found out people are suspicious of me at work because I do a good job. FML
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to quit my job after being tortured by my boss for months. My boss responded by throwing a hardcover textbook at me and hitting me in the face. FML
Today, I got a bad review on my work's Facebook page. The girl said I was very rude and I should never work with the public. I was trying to flirt with her. FML
Today, at my hotel, I spent over an hour dumpster diving trying to locate a pair of shorts for a spoiled brat that one of the cleaning staff accidentally threw away. When I finally found and returned them to the family, the father insisted they weren't the right ones. Spent all day smelling of trash. FML
Today, I'm working an 8-hour shift on less than 3 hours of sleep. In order to stay awake, I chugged 3 Red Bulls. Now I can't feel my face. FML
mmlncwdr tells us more.
mmlncwdr 9
Hey, OP here! I can't believe this got published! These comments are great, I've been laughing for the last 20 mins. So to clear things up a bit, no 8 hours on less than 3 hours of sleep is not that bad, to an adult, I am 16 and have an anxiety disorder. The pills I take make me extremely drowsy, and I also happened to have a three hour practice that same night. I went directly from work to practice so the 3 Red Bulls were necessary. I will not be doing that again in the near future seeing as I could feel my heart beating in my chest all afternoon. And before I go, I did love it?? thanks everyone for the comments!
Today, I found out that a coworker and I may get laid off soon, all because my boss's niece told him she can do both our jobs all by herself, and for less money. FML
Today, my bitchy manager got back from vacation. To be nice, I asked her how it was. She said "not long enough". I mumbled "I agree". She definitely heard. FML.
HauntedTwilight tells us more.
Haha op here! This was a few months ago. Said manager WAS walking away - but you can only but so much into one fml story. All she said was "I agree on that!" So I'm assuming she took it as me literally saying she didn't get a long enough vacation (thinks she sits on a throne). She knows she's a bitch. 4 people quit the past two weeks because of her. (Numerous employees did the whole hr thing / labour board - didn't work) She's very vindictive over small things, calls people out in front of other employees and customers, gossips about all the employees, tries to pin her mistakes on you and worst blackmails and manipulates peolple, etc. The list goes on. She's a monster. THANKFULLY she's due for another vacation soon. If there wasn't so lack of jobs where I live, I'd be walking out of there with the other 4.
Today, I had to get two teenagers to stop playing bumper cars with the electric scooters at the grocery store I work at. I'm seventeen, and they don't pay me enough for this. FML
Today, after work, I was saying goodbye to my last remaining friend I worked with because she was going to be leaving for college. My manager saw me talking and made me clock back in and work, because, "If you have time to talk, you have time to work." FML
Today, it was my first day at my new job as a receptionist at a small doctor's office. When the doctor's wife called and asked if he'd stepped out, I blanked the word "Doctor" and instead replaced it with, "Medicine man." FML
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