Today, my brat of a coworker tried to convince our boss that I should get paid half of what I'm making because I broke my right arm. I'm left-handed, broke it on the job, and still doing a better job than her. She makes double what I do. FML
Today, I was told I needed to start carrying bandaids with me at work because practically every day I hurt myself. FML
Today, I had my first interview. Everything was going well until I made him repeat his name numerous times, as I couldn't understand what he was saying due to his thick accent. FML
Today, after 3 weeks of my new job, I'm already having work-related dreams. I'm having troubles differentiating between the 8 hour shifts in real life and the 8 hour shifts in my dream. I'm doubly exhausted. FML
Today, I started a new job as a school bus driver. I was sent on the hardest route in the area, and not 5 minutes in I came across a broke down truck in the middle of the road. I was stuck behind him for over an hour with a bus full of elementary school kids. FML
Today, I was written up. Too many customers complained that I don't wear makeup or do my hair. I got written up for being ugly. FML
Today, I was fired without warning from my job because I was not consulting my boss about things like washing dishes and throwing away garbage. Basically, I was fired for being too good at my job. FML
Today, at my job of two months, I'd taken it upon myself to water the plants around the office every day since they all looked a little sad. My boss then asked why so many of the fake plants were getting mouldy. My co-workers had watched me water plastic plants for two months and nobody bothered to tell me. FML
Today, I found out that my boss's ex-husband is my company manager. They are one office space apart and constantly shouting about one another. I'm in that one office space between them. In the office across from me? Their daughter. FML
Today, I'm jobless and picked up transcription work online. I typed furiously all day. I have made a grand total of $2.06. FML
Today, my boss had to order some more work pants since mine were worn out after 7 months. He told me the next set I would have to buy myself, since they usually last workers about 2 years, and I must be treating them too roughly. I didn't want to admit that my thighs rubbing together ended up shredding the fabric. FML
Today, because of the gas crisis in my state, we had to stop taking delivers at the pizza place I work at. Someone asked if we could walk it to them. My manager agreed. FML
Today, I finally have a job I love with amazing people I call family and a fantastic boss. I've been here 8 months, and I'm doing a great job, I feel like I could work here forever! My most recent project? Printing our "Store closing sale" signs for liquidation. We permanently close in 7 weeks. FML
Today, whilst at work as a furniture salesperson, a couple was looking at a couch. As part of our sales technique, we invite people to take a seat. The man was wearing shorts, and his testicles dropped out to the side. I had to discuss fabric options, etc, whilst avoiding looking at his balls. FML
orangediva tells us more.
orangediva 10
OP here second attempt. Stubbies are Australian shorts which are very short. Commonly worn with thongs and a singlet, classy! Anyway, you know when you are on a diet and you are not allowed to eat chocolate. It's the same trying to not look at a pair of danglies. And I knew you all would put up some great comments. Thank you :)
Today, I met the old couple I would be house-sitting for. As I was leaving the lady stuck her fist out towards me. After a seconds awkward pause I thought she wanted to fist-bump so stuck mine out and bumped. Turned out she was handing me the key. FML
Today, a woman came in to order lunch. She ordered a sandwich then asked for me to configure it precisely to her complicated desires. This took a whole 5 minutes, during the lunch rush. When I told her the cost, she decided it was too expensive and cancelled her order. FML
Today, I ordered flowers to be delivered to my workplace on Tuesday. To myself. For my birthday. Because even though birthdays are posted in the monthly newsletter, mine gets left out every year. For the past four years. FML
Today, "What kind of penises do you guys have?" wasn't even the weirdest thing I've heard my elderly female co-worker say this morning. FML
mercumorr tells us more.
mercumorr 20
OP here! It was in no way meant as harassment and definitely wasn't a serious question towards anyone! And no, it's not a sex shop! We manufacture eye wear :) For those asking for the weirder things: 1. A 36 year old man asked me out twice 2. The same man has been fired and escorted out by police for parole violations (convicted of owning/distributing child **** a few years ago, if you're interested) 3. An old woman has bent a young black man over a table and spanked him with a ruler 4. Found out that the nice, grandfatherly old man actually says creepy sexual things about the young girls he finds attractive. My favorite being, "I need some bubble wrap to hide my woody" 5. Gotten asked if I wear my beanie during sex because no one has seen me without my hat since my first day 6. Found a LARGE clump of pubic hair in a bathroom stall. Someone was actually trimming their pubes at work. 7. Recently had the bathrooms soundproofed because you could hear people having violent diarrhea from the conference rooms right next door. Guess it ruined the CEOs' catered meetings a little too often. 7. Heard a mentally challenged man frequently discuss popping his blow up dolls, **** preferences, and how he sometimes gets the urge to ********** in the bathroom. Still employed with us, but thankfully got transferred downstairs to the lab. 8. Heard a couple guys make sexual comments about the woman who delivers the mail to each department, not knowing that she is actually my mother 10. A guy came in on heroine and took dick pics on the elevator. While someone was right next to him. I left quite a few out to keep this from going on too long, but there's some of my favorites. I find most of these things pretty funny and I don't wanna be the reason anyone loses their job, so I don't plan on reporting anything!
Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML
Today, I'm a janitor at a middle school. Someone took a poo and placed it on the sink. FML
Today, I got a call from my employers wanting to ask why I had a no call, no show for today. My supervisor reported me for not showing up to work. It's my day off, and also my birthday. FML
Today, I got in trouble at work because the person whom I trained, and had done everything correctly with no mistakes, and said he was comfortable being on his own when I asked, was screwing it all up over the course of 6 weeks. When I asked him, he said, "I think my way is better than yours." FML
Today, at work, a man wanted to buy a garden hose which came up on the till as £1.99. He said that it was wrong and that it should be £1.89, so he then demanded that I call someone down to set it right. He held 20 customers up for 15 minutes to get 10p off a garden hose. FML
Today, I was participating in an activity to join a program which I really wanted to join. One of the teachers in charge seemed to notice my efforts and asked if I wanted to join the program. I said yes, thinking I had a chance. She laughed, shook her head before saying no and walking away. FML
Today, after years of listening to my coworker complaining about everything in her life, including her job, I finally stood up to her and bitched at her for complaining and not doing anything about it. She went to my boss, and now it's in my job description to listen to her when she complains. FML
Today, my stupid coworker informed the managers that there were no more kids' menus downstairs. Trusting her word, they ordered 3 full boxes. She then asked me where we kept them. We now have 12,000 kids menus to fold. FML
Today, I went in the one-person bathroom at work to pee. Next thing I know, a woman forced the locked door open and walked in on me, because she didn't believe another person who said, "I think someone is in there." I'm reluctant to use that bathroom in the future. FML
Today, for the first time in months, a potential employer was willing to give me a job. On my way out of the interview, I tripped over and broke a 1000 dollar glass table. FML
Today, in science class, I was bored and playing with a paper towel, dipping it into a container of water. When my teacher caught me and asked what I was doing, I panicked and said I was "drying the water." FML
Today, I managed to stop my supervisor from falling into a trench, only for the ground to give way and for me to fall in instead. My supervisor didn't even notice. FML
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