Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 16/12/2016 17:25 - United States - Wichita

Today, I was in a rollover wreck caused by black ice. My truck is totalled, but I came out with some bruising, abrasions and a headache. Someone also decided that my license plate on my other truck would look better elsewhere and stole it. Went from 2 trucks to none in less than 24hrs. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 20

By Colecto - 16/12/2016 14:26

Today, like every other day, even though I now earn more than double than my last job, I still live like a rat, having to choose between eating or paying bills. This is because I also support my fiancee, his brother and parents, who have been out of work for months. If I don't, they go hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 103

By Anonymous - 16/12/2016 11:10

Today, my period was unusually heavy and I had a date with a guy I've liked for a while. Half way through he points out the large blood stain on the back of my jeans and uses his jacket to cover it up. Both my jeans and his jacket are ruined and I don't think I'll be getting a second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 35

By Unloved - 16/12/2016 09:41

Today, 4 months after giving birth, my husband asked for a divorce and said he no longer loves me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 31

By I_Know_Nothing - 16/12/2016 08:30

Today, my father told me a good friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend of 3 years. My father knows more about my friends than i do, FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 41

By PancakeTwigs - 15/12/2016 19:26 - United States - Liverpool

Today, I bought my brother an Xbox One and Battlefield 1 for Christmas off of eBay. To make sure it works, I was playing it myself when it suddenly caught fire. There's $400 down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 87

By Holibills - 15/12/2016 19:07

Today, I thought I finally had enough money to buy some small gifts for my family this year for Christmas. Then I remembered my electric bill is due. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 50

By Becca - 15/12/2016 16:13

Today, no one would cover my shift so I went into work with a sinus infection and a bug. After sneezing all over peoples food and containing my fever, I left work with their wonderful gift of food poisoning via salad. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 71

By FriendshipIsMagic - 15/12/2016 16:09

Today, I have been awake for 20hrs after walking in on my best friend having sexy with my recent ex girlfriend, who is still my roommate. This is the second time she has left me and had sex with one of my friends. They both don't think anything has to change between us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 46

By That one guy you know - 15/12/2016 15:58 - United States - Rochester

Today, once again while at work my shift manager messed up the schedule. Now this would not have been so bad, but this time I got a 30 minute long rant from HIM saying how I need to be more responsible. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 35

By lax lacking - 15/12/2016 15:48 - United States - Woburn

Today, like every other day, I faint when I run. I've been like this ever since I sustained a concussion several months ago, and as many doctors as I go to, I can't seem to shake this weird after-effect. I'm a lacrosse player and am currently committed to play at Harvard. There goes my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 26

By Holyshiet - 15/12/2016 15:34 - Sweden

Today, a woman came up to me and wanted to talk about god. Trying to joke, I smiled and sweetly told her I'm a satanist. She then saw no other way out than to follow me around all day, loudly reciting the holy bible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 80

By ChiefKoala - 15/12/2016 09:01

Today, i got a black eye. No, it wasn't from a fight, nor did i fall. It was from my dog headbutting me in the face from excitement when i bent down to greet her after coming home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 82

By Nutty - 15/12/2016 08:59 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was coming home from college for the winter break and I was excited for a nice home cooked meal. When I walked into my parents house I learned that we would be enjoying pinecone and acorn soup with a side of lettuce. This is not what I expected when I suggested they should eat healthy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 36

By Mamabear - 15/12/2016 07:30

Today, My two year old daughter ran into the living room saying "Bubbie messed on the bed." Thinking my 1 year old son threw some toys on the bed... I walked into a room with poop all over the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 44

By canyonrat - 15/12/2016 07:24

Today I found out that my husband had an affair and was blackmailed by a dominatrix; it was all about her telling him via email and text what to do & sending photos/videos to prove that he had done certain things. Now she wants to send the photos to his work and me, yay! FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 28

By Crapple - 15/12/2016 07:23 - Australia - Windaroo

Today, I spent 2 hours on the phone to Apple, for them to tell me they don't know what's wrong with my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 48

By goldendarkness - 15/12/2016 06:39 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I had to take care of my aggressive, sick, drunk friend. At my own birthday party. No one else wanted to help and just kept drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 36

By PrincessOhNo - 15/12/2016 06:28 - United States - New York

Today, I accidentally revealed to my friend's mom that he's dating his sister. I also found out myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 45

By jlovek0929 - 15/12/2016 05:59 - United States

Today, my fiancee told me I am a better father, to her kids, lover to her, and treat her better that she has ever been treated. shame it wasn't enough as she left me for her ex right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 27

By jlovek0929 - 15/12/2016 05:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I made love for the first time. She promptly let me know that her ex was 3 times bigger but he couldn't get her there either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 33

By Anonymous - 14/12/2016 21:14 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I found out that the guy I occasionally hang out with has been telling all his friends that we're dating. I already have a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 58

By JustPerfect1997 - 14/12/2016 21:01 - United Kingdom - Burnley

Today, I went to work. I not only didn't use the bathroom between the hours of 8am and 7pm, but I had no chance to sit down or eat. I had a review with my boss and she told me my workload was actually three people's worth of work, and I suck at it, but she couldn't afford to pay anyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 33

By Anonymous - 14/12/2016 18:27 - United States

Today, it was the last day for appointments to fill a position paying $13-17 an hour. My appointment was at 9am, but at 6am this morning I had a seizure and had to be rushed to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 20

By Anonymous - 14/12/2016 16:13 - United States

Today, I used my last bit of money to buy a drink on break at work. I put in $0.65 but couldn't find the last nickel needed. I tried to get my change back but the machine decided to keep it. By the time I got another nickel, it cleared the rest of my change. Now I'm thirsty and broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 38

By random - 14/12/2016 13:13 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, after i found out that i have a herniated disc i went home by bus and sat down because my back really hurt. The elderly started cursing at me because a young man should let them sit instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 45

By aus - 14/12/2016 11:27 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I gave relationship advice to my ex-girlfriend. She thinks it is perfectly fine to come to me for this and has no idea I am still in love with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 89

By Zeke102 - 14/12/2016 11:14

Today, I was fired from my job as a front desk assistant at my university by email. This was after my boss had told me to enjoy my holiday break, and that she'd see at work when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 18

By #awkward - 14/12/2016 08:04 - New Zealand

Today, me and my girlfriend broke up. It was a mutual decision from both of us, so no hard feelings. The only issue is that we live together, and no one seems to want to take over our room, so we both have to stay there until someone does. Gotta love being single. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 185

By so incredibly single - 14/12/2016 07:54 - United States - King George

Today, I wrote a note to myself where I whined about how much I hate being single and how much I wish I had a boyfriend. Then I realized that maybe if I wasn't a weirdo who wrote whiny notes to myself, I might have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 85

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to get married after only six months because of an accidental but happy pregnancy. We’ve spent thousands on the wedding and baby stuff. Apparently it was money wasted, because I just got my period, despite not having one for three months and a positive pregnancy test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 192

Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 176

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating, even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 593

You deserved it 2 040

Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 817

You deserved it 11 934

Today, while traveling with my cat, I had a mini-freakout when I realized that I left his favorite toy in the hotel room. I'm a 30-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 237

You deserved it 9 597

Today, after three years of working at my current occupation, they decided to give me a bonus for all of my hard work and effort. A 5$ gift card to Cold Stone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 671

You deserved it 209