Nearly FMLs

By Lexyy17 - 14/12/2016 07:31 - Canada - Snow Lake

Today, it's so cold outside my husky refuses to go out to poop. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 33

By AlissaMichaela - 14/12/2016 06:51 - United States - Lexington

Today, I've been scheduled for night shifts at my job for the 3rd week in a row. I was just recently hired and the manager that interviewed me said they needed me mornings. All my shifts keep overlapping with my other job. Now they're pissed because of their mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 27

By Sadpizza - 13/12/2016 22:11 - United States - Worcester

Today, I had to deliver pizza to my friend's party that I wasn't invited to. They didn't tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 31

By Belemnoidea - 13/12/2016 19:23 - United States

Today, I was happy with my struggling mother for starting to get back on her feet by getting a job and buying a car. It wasn't till later I found out that the job was prostitution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 48

By OhhaiYumi - 13/12/2016 15:36 - United States

Today, I'm at the medicaid office waiting to be called on when the old gentleman sitting next to me decided to start watching porn on his phone. He isn't even wearing headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 47

By No beastiality... - 13/12/2016 15:35

Today, my new security system revealed that my girlfriend is sexually cheating on me. With my newly adopted dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 53

By Fuck - 13/12/2016 15:17

Today, the manager I trusted most at work started hitting on me when I asked for a reference from him. He knows I have a boyfriend, as do my other coworkers who constantly make comments about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 35

By AutumnMarie3639 - 13/12/2016 14:46 - United States - Marysville

Today, I was at Value Village when I found a strapless dress I liked. I am pretty busty so they never work for me but I thought I'd try. I was able to put the dress on but it was tight. I tried to take it off but it got stuck. I had to ask a stranger to come in my dressing room and help pull it off.

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 50

By oldnotold - 13/12/2016 14:43 - United States - Spring Grove

Today, I realized how out of touch I am with my generation when I couldn't figure out how to operate twitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 80

By Charlotte - 13/12/2016 14:15 - Slovakia

Today, I found out that my sister is engaged to my boyfriends father. Today I also found out that she had sex with my boyfriend and she is pregnant. She doesn't know who the father is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 30

By riniripper - 13/12/2016 13:35 - Japan

Today, while waiting for the Fantasmic water show at Tokyo Disneysea with my friends, we looked up at the overlooking disney hotel to see a couple having hardcore sex for a solid 15 minutes. In front of thousands of people, mostly children.

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 43

By EquestriaGirl - 13/12/2016 13:32

Today, I went to work after watching seasons one and two of My Little Pony with my friends. I'll admit, it's actually a pretty good show, with the characters being pretty relatable for cartoon horses. So relateable, I accidentally said "somepony" when talking to my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 84

By red heart - 13/12/2016 12:53 - United States - Killeen

Today, my stepdad won't let my fiancé and I stay in the same bed when he comes for Christmas instead we have to sleep in separate beds and I have to sleep with my little sisters because he isn't comfortable with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 57

By IHateTraffic - 13/12/2016 12:45 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I was walking to the local supermarket when I went to cross the road. There was no traffic and the lights were red anyway and as I was crossing, a guy drove round a corner and sped up towards me. I jumped out the way just in time and knocked over a woman's pushchair. With her baby in it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 31

By SaggyTit - 13/12/2016 12:19

Today I was sitting at my computer with my legs crossed. I was startled to feel something on my knee. I realised it was my saggy tit. I'm nineteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 34

By Me - 13/12/2016 11:48 - Guatemala - Guatemala City

Today, a customer called asking me where was her order that she placed a few days ago. I told her that we had a little delay with the orders. She then told me to cancel it because she wanted it for tomorrow. When I cancelled it, she then asked me why did I cancel it and asked for my Supervisor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 27

By Anonymous - 13/12/2016 10:40 - Germany - Ratingen

Today, my crush asked me where I went on holiday and if it was hot. I enthusiastically told her where I went and about how it was always sunny. She replied with "Oh. Just wondering because you're skin is so pale". FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 24

By Anonymous - 12/12/2016 22:41 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, after hours of perfecting a job application for my dream company, in which I'd explained how strong my attention to detail is and used examples, I only noticed after submitting it that I'd addressed the application to 'Joanne' rather than 'Joanna'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 144

By electricvoice27 - 12/12/2016 21:53

Today, as i was walking down the street, a group of tourists passed by. As i was passing them i heard one say after looking at me "See? There are fat people in this country as well." FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 48

By randomuser15 - 12/12/2016 21:34 - United States - Erlanger

Today while walking to school I was shat on by a bird on the head. Twice. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 38

By welpshit - 12/12/2016 19:28 - United States

Today, after nearly a year of job-hunting, I finally got a job doing what I spent 6 years in college and grad school for. It's my dream job. Tomorrow, my car will be repossessed. The job is an hour commute in a rural area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 25

By xercister - 12/12/2016 17:16 - United States

Today, I found myself sitting inside a tire shop replacing two tires that were taken out from a pot hole on the street. it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't just push out almost a grand fixing my other vehicle a few days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 29

By Wasteofanangel - 12/12/2016 15:09

My boss just hired my stalker. Apparently "he posted his clothes through my letterbox and parked outside my home for hours, making me afraid to leave the house" isn't reason enough to turn down someone who left this job 2 years ago, while being investigated for gross misconduct.

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 19

By Bittercold - 12/12/2016 12:15

Today, I saw my brother in a YouTube video. This would have been awesome, had the video not been of his failed attempt to hold up a gas station earlier this year which resulted in a series of events ending with the entire family falling apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 39

By Disaster - 11/12/2016 20:13

Today, at the wee hours of morning (1am) I went and picked up a girl to screw around. She's smart, beautiful, and fun to hang out with. Things were going well and we'd had sex a couple of times. At around 6am, I went to go down on her, and puked all over her lady parts. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 125

By Anonymous - 11/12/2016 20:04 - United States - Garden City

Today, my boyfriend felt like being intimate. Normally I wouldn't have minded because he doesn't usually want to do things, but he picked the one week I've got a yeast infection to want to mess around. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 36

By Lunnea - 11/12/2016 19:29 - United States - Denver

Today, I was supposed to make dinner for my whole family, but due to my auto immune disease I fell in the shower. I had to be rescued by my mom. So much for showing independence...FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 36

By Stan017 - 11/12/2016 19:11 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I was in church. After service was over, I stayed in a pew texting. Thinking no one was around anymore, I farted a few times loudly. As I got up to leave, I realized there were two people silently praying a few seats behind me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 147

By Concerned dad - 11/12/2016 18:30

Today, I taught my teenage autistic daughter how to prune dead branches off of trees. We live next to a small forest. She isn't wearing gloves, and I haven't seen her for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 85

By Thor1012 - 11/12/2016 18:19 - Ireland

Today, I was in a car accident totally destroying my car. Last week I spent my last €500 in order to keep it on the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 42

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, after months of looking, my fiancé and I finally signed a lease. We are using my savings to pay for it. This apparently poses a "moral dilemma" for my in-laws, who think we should wait to be married. I'm paying for an apartment I'm not allowed to live in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 633

You deserved it 6 325

Today, I have blue lips because of a guy whose face I don't even remember didn't know the difference between kissing and sucking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 258

You deserved it 26 187

Today, I had the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my lower right abdomen. I was doubled over and vomiting it hurt so bad. After going to the E.R., thinking it was my appendix and getting checked in, I let out the biggest most rancid fart in my life and the pain immediately went away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 924

You deserved it 421

Today, I spent my afternoon rummaging through old jeans and other pants, due to being broke and needing cash for ramen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 302

You deserved it 5 149

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 318

You deserved it 231

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 154

You deserved it 3 454