Nearly FMLs

By calculator-whore - 01/11/2016 04:15 - Australia - Kew

Today, I had a statistics exam. After weeks of careful planning and vigorous study methods, I went to my exam only to discover that I did not have my calculator. 3/4 of the exam involved difficult formula calculations. Therefore I could only complete 1/4 of the exam. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 285

By joseraph - 30/10/2016 22:49

Today, my son casually informed me that if his dad and I were his employees, he'd fire me and promote his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 305

You deserved it 228

By doemetoch - 30/10/2016 15:42

Today, my boyfriend is incredibly worried about my going to a popular tourist destination in Morocco for six days. I've hitchhiked through about a dozen countries and spent a few months backpacking in India on my own so I'm pretty sure I can handle this, but for some reason that's "different". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 178

By hungry - 28/10/2016 01:32 - Australia

Today, I spent all day preparing much needed shipments for customers on the other side if the country. So busy in fact, I had to skip lunch and all of my breaks. As I was leaving for the day I saw the rest of the company had taken half of the day off for a catered lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 801

You deserved it 294

By ohhmyygoshh - 27/10/2016 19:11 - United States - San Bruno

Today, I had to tell my boyfriend that no, we cannot feed shrooms to our cat. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 357

You deserved it 182

By LadyLydia - 26/10/2016 18:00

Today I finally decided to get married in Skyrim and after we said our vows my spouse glitched through the floor in the temple of Mara and I can't find him.. Not even my gaming boyfriends can stand me.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 290

By Pilot - 26/10/2016 17:48

Today I got a question from a guest at work. I work as a scenic tour pilot and our airplanes have a propeller in the front. After realizing that you can see the propeller in pictures while flying, one of my passengers asked me "Is there anything you can do about that?" FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 271

You deserved it 108

By Anonymous - 25/10/2016 19:57

Today, I reported my truck stolen. A few hours later the police informed me they found it parked under a bridge, on fire, with an ATM in the back of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 140

By Kelnyquist - 25/10/2016 05:47

Today, at my part time job as a chashier, a man wanted to pay for a pack of cigarettes and a six pack of beer with pennies. His total was $13.47 and we counted out $13.13 in pennies. He then pulled a $20 bill from his back pocket, paid with it and told me to keep the pennies. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1 796

You deserved it 256

By ratratrat - 25/10/2016 02:31

Today, I was talking to a boy I'm interested in and tried to make conversation while taking a sip of my drink. While laughing at something he said and maintaining eye contact, I poured iced tea all over my chest then proceeded to walk away without explanation. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 212

By JuuzouBear - 24/10/2016 10:40 - Australia - Kingston

Today, I was at drama club, rehearsing for a play I'm in. But I had to leave early and so I went up to my boyfriend and hugged him, then some girl said, "Oh my god! Are you two dating?" He said no. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 681

You deserved it 140

By anonymous - 24/10/2016 00:51 - United States - Manchester

Today, I finally got my two month old colic baby to go to sleep in her crib without me having to stand up with her. About fives minutes into my nap, someone rings the doorbell. My daughter has been screeching ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 157

By JustShowered - 23/10/2016 21:24

Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog came up to me, smelled my crotch, and immediately began making horrible coughing sounds and backing away in terror. Thanks, bud. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 122

By the singer - 23/10/2016 21:17

Today, I found out that my band was having a band-night. Without me. For the 3rd time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 96

By dadclark - 23/10/2016 19:32 - United States - Quitman

Today, I was trying to avoid one of our dogs while driving down the drive. Instead I crashed into a tree in the front yard totaling our van. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 153

By LadyAmaya - 23/10/2016 12:44

Today, I completed my washing. Due to not following my mother's advice, I found out that all my whites are now blues. I have school in nine hours. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 868

By Minty Fresh - 21/10/2016 04:23 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, it's been 24 hours since I used way too much mouthwash and apparently, everything still tastes minty. I just took a sip of orange juice. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 513

You deserved it 527

By usernamehere556 - 18/10/2016 23:11 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, when my co-worker returned from the restroom, he suddenly started explaining to me, in explicit detail, how our boss was taking a dump in the stall next to him. Sound effects included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 332

By AnonymousApology - 18/10/2016 07:06 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to a grad school fair. Tuition costs more than I make in a year. I'm thirty. I think we are all fucked at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 798

You deserved it 260

By Just_One_Pancake - 18/10/2016 00:21 - United States - Boise

Today, a sweet old man came knocking. He asked about my elderly neighbor who he has been trying to find after they had a misunderstanding and split up. He also had a present for her. I had to hear him reminiscing about their beautiful relationship, while I knew she had passed away a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 134

You deserved it 195

By Commuterlife - 17/10/2016 22:51 - United States

Today, I realised that commuter life may not be for me. Why not? Well, in the year I've been commuting, I've been hit by a car, I've been in a train crash, and I have not slept in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 426

You deserved it 117

By ohwell - 17/10/2016 21:27 - United States - Chicago

Today, I learned that if a friend ever suggests you sleep with her boyfriend, it's probably because she doesn't have the heart to tell him that he sucks in bed. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 297

You deserved it 158

By Sleeping on the couch - 17/10/2016 17:47 - United States - Schenectady

Today, I came home for the first time since leaving college. When I went to my room, I discovered that during my absence, my mom had thrown out or sold all the stuff I had left behind so she could make an indoor playroom for her pug. She doesn't understand why I'm upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 114

By doggystyle - 16/10/2016 15:24 - India - New Delhi

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying to make his dogs have sex with each other and saying to them: "Come on, just give me grandchildren already." I am about to marry this idiot. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 736

You deserved it 269

By nominaski - 16/10/2016 08:22 - United States - Dupont

Today, I finally completed the final draft of the novel I've been working on for over two years. Five minutes later, my girlfriend somehow managed to delete the whole file from the computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 963

You deserved it 172

By RainbowSnake - 16/10/2016 06:16 - United States - Mechanicsburg

Today, I passed out unexpectedly for the sixth time in two months. The doctor has repeatedly told my mom that I need to go to the hospital the next time it happens. My mom refuses to take me because she doesn't want to pay any hospital bills, and that I'll "probably just get over it." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 97

By Thesoma - 14/10/2016 11:34 - Germany

Today, while walking down the stairs to the subway station, I overheard some girls discussing how much "that ugly ass drunk guy over there already had today". I was the only person in sight. My strange walking style comes from a nerve damage paralyzing my left leg and I'm also a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 034

You deserved it 137

By Ghostly - 14/10/2016 06:10 - Australia - Dulwich Hill

Today, I was feeling very sad and insecure about my appearance. I thought my boyfriend could help cheer me up, so I asked him if he thought I was pretty. He very delicately and politely told me that he's never seen me as pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 240

By UncommonSense - 14/10/2016 03:26 - United States - Ware

Today, I got a call from my son's school. Apparently, my husband allowed our 5 year old to watch, "Scary Movie" and now he's chasing girls on the playground while screaming, "RUN, BITCH! RUUUUN!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 955

You deserved it 310

By Anonymous - 12/10/2016 13:12 - United States - Gresham

Today, I worked a 5 am shift at the pool. My car wouldn't start so I had to bike to work over three miles, the wind against me the whole time, chill of late fall, in the dark 4 am morning. Only to find when I got there they closed the pool for the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 242

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The Top

Today, I tripped and fell going up the stairs, not once, but twice at work as I was leading customers through our building. I actually got bruises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 284

Today, I got a phone call from my husband in jail. He was detained for statutory rape. The girl was his 15 year-old coworker at McDonald’s. He’s 42. I can’t tell which is worse, the fact that we have a daughter the same age, or that he actually wanted me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 843

You deserved it 128

Today, I had the displeasure of watching my boyfriend’s Facebook go from “In a relationship” with me to “Single”, then switched to a big “In a relationship with” the girl he told me was “just a friend” post, after ending our 5-year relationship over text message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 119

Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 227

You deserved it 4 166

Today, in a grocery store, the cashier asked if we found everything OK. Before I could answer, my kid said, “Mom says the shop smells like poor people.” I don’t even remember saying that, but judging by the cashier’s face it must be a family business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 430

Today, I found out that a strong orgasm can trigger my girlfriend's PTSD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 446

You deserved it 245