Nearly FMLs

By helkaer - 18/12/2016 15:08

Today, I was mugged on my way to work for a $20 crappy phone from Walmart. My boss still expects me to go in. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 25

By gabby - 18/12/2016 14:44 - United States - Harbor City

Today, I had to pull the managing partner of the law firm I work for off a desk where she was drunkenly dancing to rap music at another firm's holiday party and pour her into a cab. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 21

By Alvahh - 18/12/2016 14:06 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Today, I woke up to realise I tried to ring my ex whilst drunk last night..not only did he text me this morning asking why I rang him, he also decided to mention what drugs he was now taking and asked if I would be up for having sex. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 30

By :/ - 18/12/2016 09:00 - United States - Sharon

Today, the love of my life finally spent the night at my house... With my brother. I was still involved though. I got to walk in on them doing "it". Thanks bro. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 24

By Anonymous - 18/12/2016 07:28 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I'm 19 years old and also 8 months pregnant. I work at a pizza place and a customer creepily asked if I wanted to go home with him. It wasn't the first time he's asked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 25

By lactose intolerant - 18/12/2016 06:55 - United States - Rochester

Today, I bought a soy latte, being lactose intolerant, and got one with milk in it. How do I know? I'm doubled over with gas pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 23

By ryuuchild - 18/12/2016 06:52 - United States - Boscobel

Today, I had an asthma attack and not only did my boyfriend not wanna help me to urgent care, but when it came time for bed and i couldnt get comfortable to being cold and an elevated heart beat. he kicked me to the couch so he could sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 22

By NOACCEPTANCE772 - 18/12/2016 06:44

Today, I finally had eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. All eight hours, I was stuck in a nightmare where everybody I loved died, one by one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 26

By MedChew - 18/12/2016 05:40

Today, I slipped and fell face first, giving me an abrasion below my nose. I look like Hitler and I am flying to Germany tomorrow. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 18

By Lonely - 18/12/2016 05:09 - Australia - Diamond Creek

Today, I got depressed over the fact that I was rejected by a character in a video game, due to having no relationships in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 40

By FMLFreakShow - 17/12/2016 19:50 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, I lost my wallet. When I couldn't find it in my house or car, I called my girlfriend to see if it was there. She answered on accident. Let's just say my wallet is still lost, along with my girlfriend. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 59

By E21 - 17/12/2016 19:12 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I got a door slammed in my face by my brother. Normally this wouldn't bother me, but my ankle got caught in the door. The ankle that has three ligaments tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 31

By Sad girl - 17/12/2016 18:53 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, My mom came to visit me at the hospital after hearing about my near fatal suicide attempt. Here reaction? "Thank god you're ok, you're sister would have been devastated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 53

By M_Giroux55 - 17/12/2016 17:26

Today, after taking four entrance tests, and being promised an interview in the next week, I was told they didn't actually have a position for me to apply for. I can't apply again anywhere else until next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 20

By cutewhenhesneezes - 17/12/2016 17:21 - Belgium

Today, I texted my ex-girlfriend to complain about my current girlfriend. I then sent the text to my current girlfriend by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 531

By cuz803 - 17/12/2016 17:05 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was dared to watch a video for 100 bucks by my friend. He sent me the link and I clicked it. It was titled '3 guys 1 hammer'. I thought it was a carpenter video, not a video of a person being brutally murdered with a hammer and screwdriver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 42

By Thebabymaker - 17/12/2016 16:18

Today my new boyfriend and I did the doo for the first time. He ties up the condom, squeezes the end and goes "Hello Mummy" with it, in my face. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 25

By HawkProf - 17/12/2016 15:58 - United States - Las Cruces

Today, I finally had time to sweep the dirt and leaves off the back patio after 3 months of neglect. Just in time for a two day high wind advisory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 36

By Petty when Sleepy - 17/12/2016 15:32 - United States - Cypress

Today, I was woken up at 8 am having gone to bed at 6 am after pulling an 18 hour shift. My dad's reasoning? I absolutely had to vacuum out my truck before the cold front comes in at 5 pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 19

By L270 - 17/12/2016 13:43 - United Kingdom - Wigan

Today, I overheard my parents talking about how they just don't really like me as a person. I already knew I was an accident, now this too. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 30

By Helpless - 17/12/2016 09:26

Today, I found out my grandma, who suffers from dementia, was sleeping in her van. Without thinking, I took her and her untrained dog into my tiny home so she wouldn't freeze. It's now 1:30am and I can't sleep because of the smell and I just stepped in a trail of runny dog shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 31

By laurajoergensenn - 17/12/2016 08:42 - Denmark - Odense

Today, i broke my arm. My friends wanted to draw on it. They did. Then some weird guys from my class also wanted to, and i trusted them and gave them the marker. I now have to walk around in public with big penises on my arm.

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 72

By conholio33 - 17/12/2016 08:41 - Canada

Today, I was out putting de-icing salt down on the ground to help with black ice when i slipped on another patch of black ice and busted my knee open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 22

By jacksonbrowne - 17/12/2016 07:44 - United States - Mokena

Today, I was taking a test at school and I noticed the girl next to me was cheating off my test. I wrote "fuck you" so when she looked again, she'd get see it. I finished my test, turned it in, sat down and realized I never erased it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 82

By azlyndennis - 17/12/2016 06:32 - Canada

Today, I finally washed all my bedding. After it was all put back on my bed, my son promptly went and sat on the bed, and puked all over it. I now have to wait another week to wash laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 31

By NewHomeOwner - 17/12/2016 05:34

Today, while signing on a house with my wife, I found out that the seller's realtor will be losing his licence due to an ethics violation. He also didn't communicate good information about the house. I'm now locked outside of my own house because there are two different locks on the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 26

By chattyhamster - 17/12/2016 01:19

Today, the steep path to get to work was covered in so much ice when I slipped I couldn't get back up even with the railing. I resorted to sliding down the rest of the hill in a crouch position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 46

By khroniclesofkay - 16/12/2016 22:53 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, my friend invited me over for dinner. I hadn't seen her in months. I also hadn't eaten all day. She put orange juice in the casserole pan with the chicken. I'm deathly allergic to oranges. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 43

By kt - 16/12/2016 17:50 - United States - Potsdam

My mom adopted a 14 year old girl because she "felt bad for her". Yesterday my mom asks me if I would be mad if the girl got more Christmas gifts than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 93

By Anonymous - 16/12/2016 17:41

Today, I got yelled at on the bus by a woman who wanted to sit down in the section of the bus reserved for wheelchairs and strollers, and who felt that my stroller being there was preventing her from doing so. When she was done arguing with me, she went to take a free seat elsewhere.

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 30

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I took off my sweatshirt in the middle of class. The tanktop I was wearing underneath went with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 420

You deserved it 8 221

Today, as I was shampooing my hair in the shower, the power went out. Since my house has well water, no power means no water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 288

You deserved it 395

Today, I had to explain to my grandfather that Canadians aren't evil by reminding him that he's Canadian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 280

You deserved it 2 816

Today, I went on a trip to DC. When I got back I found out my car was stolen. Apparently they didn't know how to drive a stick because it was only 4 blocks from my house and the engine was blown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 301

You deserved it 2 365

Today, I was working from home and had an important meeting with my superiors. It was fine until my sleepy wife came in and asked if I could find a better time for calls. I didn't notice her right away and failed to disable my camera. She was fully naked, and I received an email about inappropriate behaviour later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 184

Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 206

You deserved it 731