Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 07/02/2017 08:21 - United States

Today, I got a text message from my landlord telling me that I need to get him rent by 4pm or else I have t days to get out. I'm just over a month behind. My bank got hacked, and I start a new job today so wont have no money for nothing not even gas. fml

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 54

By Internet - 06/02/2017 11:08 - United States - Richmondville

Today, my mom still refuses to admit she has an addiction to amazon. She literally hasn't gone out to physically buy groceries for weeks because apparently waiting several days for it to be delivered is more "convenient" than just going out and buying what you need. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 35

By simonm02 - 06/02/2017 09:31 - United States - Kissimmee

Today I was called up the front office of my school because "Some body brought something for me" running possibilities through my head I realized someone might have turned my missing phone in and I ran to the office only to find that my school police officer wanted to "Touch bases with me".

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 22

By Anonymous - 06/02/2017 11:35

Today, my bike needed service so I took my scooter to college. Due to the slippery road, my scooty slipped and got dragged across the street Now I have to get it serviced too. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 35

By FuckingPeople - 06/02/2017 04:20 - United States - Batavia

Today, I met the stupidest, most ignorant and most annoying person I've ever met in my life. This wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't a co-worker at my new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 833

You deserved it 467

By ifeelgross - 06/02/2017 02:24 - United States - Arkadelphia

Today, I was masturbating and the person turned their face right as I was about to finish and thought, "That looks like my cousin". I came. I've never felt more dirty in my life. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 70

By We_would_love_2_help_but - 06/02/2017 02:41 - United States - Southfield

Today I flagged down a group of 6 cops because my car had just been stolen. They were on ten speeds and even though I was watching my car drive away around the block all 6 could do nothing. Also, I match the description other the girl did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 18

By DepressedandBetrayed - 05/02/2017 23:24 - United States - Sacramento

Today I learned that the one friend I trusted enough to discuss my depression with was telling people about it behind my back. I don't know who they've told and how long they've been telling people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 23

By can'ttakemuchmore - 05/02/2017 23:03 - United States - Salem

Today, I have realized my fiance is interested more in sports than me, in any way. We've been together for over 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 35

By Anonymous - 05/02/2017 22:44 - United States - Midland

Today, While riding BMX at a skate park, I felt my chain come loose. I looked down for a split second, however that's all the time it took for me to crash into a young scooter kid. Not only breaking my nose and elbow, but both his arms. That poor boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 59

By Anonymous - 05/02/2017 18:07 - United States - Morton

Today, I finally had to admit to myself that I can not have gluten. after eating pizza with my husband I've been down all day in pain. First no more liquor now no more gluten... FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 31

By Meee - 05/02/2017 19:34 - United States - Chicopee

Today, I finally started feeling better after a week of being sick and nauseous. To make me feel better my mom told me she was going to buy me stuff to help me feel better. She came back with a pregnancy test.

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 27

By blueyes - 05/02/2017 16:41 - United States - Lansing

Today, I paid for a month membership on a dating site only to find out that I'm literally being ignored by guys from every corner of the planet. I can't get my money back. I guess now at least I know how ugly I am. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 21

By merp - 05/02/2017 15:37 - Guatemala - Guatemala City

Today, my unit is on holiday in a resort in Guatemala. I thought I lost my drivers license. While looking for it in my bag, I needed to fart. I bent down & silently farted a smelly one without knowing that there was a Guatemalan worker behind me that picked up my license. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 42

By fanny12 - 05/02/2017 20:44 - Slovenia - Maribor

Today I've lit up a candle (the glass kind) and after a while I wanted to put it out. I didn't succeed the first time, so I blew harder and got a splash of wax right in my face, all over my eyes and on my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 59

By just my luck - 05/02/2017 10:10 - United States - Tampa

Today, after being sick for about 6 weeks, I finally feel okay and go on it to work. 2 hours into my shift, I trip and fall bruising both my legs, my elbows, and rip open my shin. I'm in to much pain to say and I'm sent home, FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 18

By Anonymous - 05/02/2017 20:44 - Australia - Perth

Today, my boyfriend called me fat not once, not twice, but 3 times.

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 48

By cheftastic30 - 05/02/2017 01:48 - United States - Elkview

Today, I'm severely sick with bronchitis, just three weeks ago I had a two week case of the flu. I'm starting to think my own body hates me.

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 19

By vetworksucks - 05/02/2017 01:38 - United States - Winston Salem

Today, after a long day at work, I came home desperate for a shower and tossed my dirty scrubs onto the bathroom floor. My youngest cat came running into the bathroom and immediately squatted on my scrubs and started pissing. Now I know who keeps peeing my bed. Probably. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 22

By Anonymous - 05/02/2017 01:03 - United States - Mount Clemens

Today, I started my new job at the place my sister has been working for years. I overheard a child telling my sister that she expected me to be pretty like she is. The child then denied saying it when I asked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 31

By Anonymous - 04/02/2017 23:41 - United States

Today, I went to my English class expecting an exam for finals week after some time being sick. To my horror, I misunderstood the schedule of my classes' exams and was unprepared for the whole day. Embarrassed, I tried to explain to my teacher what happened through laryngitis and a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 26

By ThanksForYourService - 04/02/2017 23:58 - United States - Kalamazoo

Today, I angrily honked at a car that turned abruptly left in front of me, cutting me off on a busy road. Then I noticed it was part of a funeral procession... turning left into a veterans cemetery. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 208

By captain roger - 04/02/2017 22:59 - United States - Ottawa

For the past two days I've been asked if I'm a guy or a girl: the first was by a little kid who I not so kindly told to get lost. And the other was by a woman who Walked into the ladies restroom and looked at me And had to stop and make sure she was in the right one. I'm a girl. Seriously people.

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 50

By wow lol okay - 04/02/2017 22:58 - Canada - Corbyville

Today, I found out my boyfriend of a year has cheated on me.. i stopped counting how many girls there was after I opened up the 9th message. I was willing to talk about it, but then I found out he was stealing my weed too.

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 73

By HB - 04/02/2017 20:56 - United States - Brighton

Today, my boyfriend made me dig change out of the change jar for cigarettes. He then bought his ex/baby mama and her husband, with which she has a new baby, a $70 Japanese delivery dinner.

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 40

By Anonymous - 05/02/2017 16:41 - United States

Today, I sneezed so hard and it hurt. I just got my septum pierced last night. nothing like cleaning boogers out of your nose with qtips. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 05/02/2017 03:15 - United Kingdom - Livingston

Today, my current girlfriend of 2 years bumped into my emotionally and physically abusive ex girlfriend who proceeded to tell her that I'm a horrible person.. what's worse I think she believes her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 22

By anonymous - 04/02/2017 19:31 - United States - Dallas

Today my wife spotted a sexy outfit in a store and begged me to get it for her. Later when I asked her to model it for me she forwarded me some pictures that she had taken of her modeling the new outfit, while I was out at the store getting her some wine, which she had been sending to our landlord.

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 23

By Anonymous - 05/02/2017 00:00 - Australia - South Yarra

Today, as I have done for many years, I want to lose weight. The problem is, I stress eat. Thinking about losing weight makes me stress, which makes me eat. Making me fatter than ever. I can't stop this cycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 085

You deserved it 2 752

By Tyneetoni - 04/02/2017 22:17 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, having just made change for the parking machine, I tripped over my own feet and dropped all my coins in a freshly laid dog poo. At the risk of getting a parking ticket - my fingers are now covered in poo .......fml

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 38

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The Top

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 071

You deserved it 5 503

Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 893

You deserved it 8 370

Today, some girl from Colorado called me. She knew my name. My Facebook. I had no idea how she got my number. She then asked me out. I say, "Sure…" sarcastically. She then called my girlfriend, who also lives in Colorado. Our relationship is now over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 933

You deserved it 39 575

Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 291

You deserved it 7 237

Today, my girlfriend of six years burst into tears and said yes repeatedly when I presented her with a ring. I then had to explain that it was a promise ring, not an engagement ring. She looked me in the eye and dumped me on the spot. Apparently, promise rings are for teenagers, not couples in their thirties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 14 227

Today, I found out that my boyfriend likes to show his female co-workers his dick, by emailing them pictures of it. I found out when he included my email address in with theirs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 948

You deserved it 3 087