Nearly FMLs

By MotheroftheYear - 19/01/2017 21:59 - United States - Circleville

Today, I loaned my mom my savings 3000. I got home to find an eviction notice b/c my landlord sold the place and a message from my mom's friend saying I need to stop borrowing money from my mom and to get my ish together to support my kids. My mom said sorry about your luck I owe you nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 61

By Anonymous - 19/01/2017 21:43 - Canada - Sainte-th?r?se

Today, I started college. The building has four floors and steep steps. I have a heart condition which makes it very difficult for me to go up the stairs without being heavily out of breath.. All my classes are on the fourth floor... The school days I'm "not eligible" for the elevator... FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 26

By G00B - 19/01/2017 20:36 - United States - Gulfport

I'm 23 years old & have a 5month old son. Anywhere I go with my 54 year old dad someone calls him my husband, just because my son resembles him. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 23

By Mean big sister - 20/01/2017 11:27 - Australia - Fig Tree Pocket

Today, in a fit of rage, I threw my phone at my brother after an annoying comment, he caught it, and unlocked it on the first try. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 313

By hatingyourjob101 - 19/01/2017 17:54 - United States - Sandy

Today, my work day sucked so bad, I made up new lyrics to the Barney song "I love you". And it goes like this. "I hate you, I hate me, please just fucking leave me be" FML.

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 71

By Anonymous - 19/01/2017 18:17 - United States - Milwaukee

My girlfriend and I were getting down to business today and I went up to her ear to whisper my words of sexy magic. Everything was going perfectly fine until I got right up to her face and let out this monstrous sneeze, and a huge booger landed on her cheek. Guess who didn't have sex.

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 80

By hesitator - 19/01/2017 16:16 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, a girl came over. More than her being here, I was excited that her coming over motivated me to finally clean the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 103

By Amanda - 18/01/2017 21:29 - United States

Today, I went to my first frat party and got a little too wasted with the guy I've been lusting over for the past 3 years. After we snuck away and things started to get hot and intense I smelt something funky, worring it was me I quickly scooted up the bed to realise his "fart" was too solid. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 46

By notcoolman - 18/01/2017 21:28 - United States - Carmel

Today, I admitted to my crush that I liked him. Today, I also found out my longtime crush isn't actually gay. Our mutual friend just thought it would be funny to trick me into falling in love for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 43

By dad - 18/01/2017 18:20 - United States - La Habra

Today, I surprised my wife and kids by telling them I was paying for a family day trip to Disneyland. My daughter's response? "I have a test to study for." My wife's response? "Cool," and she went to spark a blunt outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By NewMommie - 18/01/2017 19:44 - Canada - London

Today, I was asleep and at about 2:30am I was woken up to the sound of crying through my son's baby monitor. Half asleep I walk into his room and to my surprise he is sound asleep. Thinking nothing of it I went back to my room. I still hear crying through the monitor so I go back...he is asleep. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 36

By Anonymous - 18/01/2017 20:03 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, when my boyfriend got home I planned on feeding our baby then trying to make a move on him and while I was feeding her she fell asleep so I put her down and when I turned around my boyfriend had passed out too so now I'm laying here with both of them snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 41

By kat2943 - 18/01/2017 19:58 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I always keep a glass of water by my bed and I sleep with my cat at night. My cat got up from her nap and climbed onto my desk and started drinking my water. Idk how long she's been doing this...

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 76

By Idon'tswingthatway - 18/01/2017 18:14 - United States - New York

Today, my now girlfriend accused me of cheating. She caught me red-handed with a young pretty, but "hick" looking girl, that I called "Honey", as she lovingly clings on my arm while walking in a mall. Honey is her first name, and she's my cousin from the Ozarks. She wouldn't believe me one bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 18/01/2017 18:11 - United States

Today, a blizzard hit where I live and I usually don't get much snow at all. Being that I live practically the farthest away from work, I tried calling in but my boss told me to come in anyway. On the way there I slid off the road while turning and got stuck. I can't even go back home now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 43

By EldritchIdiot - 18/01/2017 18:00

Today, I made myself grilled cheese and eggs for lunch. The eggs cooked well enough, so I decided to use the same pan for my sandwich while it was still hot. Once I put the sandwich in the pan, however, I realized I forgot to butter one side. I tried to pull it back out with my bare hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 286

You deserved it 5 265

By this - 18/01/2017 11:45 - United States

Today, I'm at a psychiatrist because I've been feeling strange. I came with my mom because the doctor felt it was necessary. I told the doctor I was gay and my mom doesn't know. When it was her turn to go in I had to wait outside and I can hear everything. I never came out to my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 43

By disgusted - 18/01/2017 11:21 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I had to wash our bedsheets because my son exploded through his diaper all over them. Yesterday, I had to wash the sheets because my son threw up on them. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 76

By ButtCurry - 18/01/2017 17:32 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today nearly 80% of our office had the runs cause of a Lamb Curry our one Colleague brought in to celebrate her birthday.. Our 3 story office building smelled like stewing liquid fecal matter && I still had to work till 5pm when everyone basically left at 11am.. fml

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 33

By Anonymous - 18/01/2017 09:45 - United States - Youngstown

Within the past few months I have my gotten my car totaled, my girl left me, my laptop broke, let go from my job, my two cats got sick and died, and now ive been kicked out of my house by my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 45

By Anonymous - 18/01/2017 09:36 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I said " suck a dick" in front of my boyfriend's mom. She already doesn't like me, but called me trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 345

By Anonymous - 18/01/2017 08:35 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I woke up with a pimple on my bottom and it hurts every time I sit down.

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 37

By toomanyfml - 18/01/2017 08:34 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I said " suck a dick" in front of my boyfriend's mom. She already doesn't like me, but called me trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 307

By BigKhan - 18/01/2017 09:29 - United States - Hoboken

Today, I was going down on my girl and I got a gushing nose bleed. You can imagine what happens next. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 29

By No One - 18/01/2017 09:15 - United States - New York

My mom is a stripper at a club, she told me now that my boyfriend has a job he should give me money.I found it funny so I told my boyfriend.I ended up needing to borrow money for an uber home from his house. He said I am whore like my mother and dumped me.I was willing to pay him double. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 60

By Anonymous - 18/01/2017 09:11 - Portugal - Matosinhos

Today, my local blood bank called to remind me of a collection day this week. After I confirmed I'd be there they told me to bring friends. I have no one to ask, let alone bring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 26

By Marwhal - 18/01/2017 02:29 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I worked the graveyard shift. I am pregnant and very sleepy all the time, so as soon as I get home I sleep pretty much until I have to go in for my next shift. My husband is experiencing some of my hormonal imbalances, and woke me up every hour because he is lonely. I feel awful for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 17

By Anonymous - 18/01/2017 08:21 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, i realized just how bat shit crazy my boss is when she hugged me, slapped me, told me to fuck off, later on gave me a box of chocolate and started talking to the wall... FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 18/01/2017 09:21 - South Africa - Krugersdorp

Today, I realised my self esteem is so low that I'm no longer included in my own dreams. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 13

By ash1738 - 17/01/2017 23:55 - United States - Huntsville

Today, none of my friends recognized my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 15

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The Top

Today, it's my birthday, and I was going over to my friend's house for dinner. When I walked in, everyone yelled, "Surprise!" and then turned on the lights. When my friend looked over at me, she said, "Wrong person guys, turn off the lights." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 657

You deserved it 3 347

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 102

You deserved it 17 553

Today, I got suspended from work after getting caught reading a work-related FML. Irony is funny, but it doesn't pay the bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 658

You deserved it 18 341

Today, I finally met the guy I've been getting to know online in person for a date. When we saw each other, we both realized that we had heavily Facetuned our profile pictures. The awkward silence that followed was the longest five minutes of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 924

Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 127

Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 881

You deserved it 4 251