Nearly FMLs

By Lenwolf - 17/02/2017 09:01 - Romania - Bucharest

Last year the gossip girls in my class let everyone know i hooked up with a girl during a school trip. A year later the same gossip girls turned the story around and made it look like I lied and that nothing happened. Like the fact that everyone knew about the hook up wasn't enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 14

By rodrigomramalho - 15/02/2017 19:05 - Brazil - Santo Andr?

Today I said to my girlfriend how beautiful she was. She replied me with: "I have to poop". FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 43

By sigh - 15/02/2017 21:01 - United Kingdom - Bangor

Today I had to make a film with my friends for my final grade. We decided to get two done at one time. I was patient and acted for hours while filming my friends other films, they had me make mine in under 30 mins and constantly ruined shots deliberately. The film is terrible FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 24

By Anonymous - 15/02/2017 07:37 - Sweden - Skellefte?

Today, my puppy finally shut up while we were driving home from the vet. I thought that maybe he'd finally gotten used to riding in the car but no, he was just wery busy eating his own vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 40

By blah - 14/02/2017 21:20 - United States - Chicago

Today, my husband told me he wants to be a stay at home parent. This wouldn't be a big deal if he didn't complain regularly about being an adult. We both work the same hours usually. I do all the cooking and cleaning because he says he's too lazy. I say he's too irresponsible. He says he's not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 39

By Roommate issues - 14/02/2017 18:47 - Canada - Cambridge

Today I've officially lost count of how many times my new roommate has left the lights on both outside and in rooms he's not even in, for no apparent reason. I'm not looking forward to seeing the electricity bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 23

By bad mujer - 14/02/2017 16:31 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, I cried while watching Planet Earth, not because a cute animal died but because the herd of caribou was just so beautifully large. Maybe this explains why I'm so incredibly single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 34

By ugh - 14/02/2017 16:02 - United States - Athens

Today I had to call 20 restaurants because even though I reminded my boyfriend to make a reservation last week, he didn't. Did any restaurant have a table? Of course not. Did he bother to make it up to me? Hell no. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 60

By Anonymous - 14/02/2017 00:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my Valentine's Day plans consist of a court date. For what you ask? Domestic violence. The irony is not lost on my public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 699

You deserved it 6 058

By Anonymous - 13/02/2017 11:37 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, I went to visit my 97 year old great grandmother at her assisted living home she's in as I do twice a week. When I walked into her room she already had a visitor. Another member of the assisted living community going down down down on her. I can't unsee what I've seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 60

By AustrianCow - 13/02/2017 14:34 - Austria - Linz

Today, my boyfriend told me about his nightmare. Apparently, he dreamt that my dad forced him to give him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 20

By Laxayuck - 13/02/2017 08:06 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today I'm having a colonoscopy. I have to drink 4 glasses of laxatives. The first glass has just taken me an hour to drink and I threw up in my mouth several times. 3 more to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 25

By Anonymous - 12/02/2017 23:07 - United States

Today, I snuck out to go to a party, while taking a shortcut to through the woods that divide my two neighborhoods, I accidentally stepped on a skunk. Now I have to sneak back into my house and pray I don't wake my parents with this putrid smell. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 363

By Why mom - 12/02/2017 19:52 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my mother is refusing to lend me the car for my road test. I have to pay $50 for a cancellation fee and wait two weeks to get my license because she wants to go to yoga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 33

By MovingEitherWay - 12/02/2017 18:20 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I got my rejection letter from college. Instead of my stepbrother getting my room when I leave for college, I am supposed to move out of my room and into his room come August because "It's only fair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 46

By DoggieBag - 12/02/2017 13:01 - United States - Flemington

Today, after dropping $400 on treating my family to a meal for my birthday, I came home, opened the leftovers, and found someone else's. It was one of the few times I didn't pack my own leftovers at the table, because I figured with a high-end restaurant there wasn't anything to worry about. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 41

By PandaGoats - 11/02/2017 23:14 - United States - Houston

Today, I was petting the neighborhood cat that hangs out at my friend's apartment sometimes. We went inside and I started to pet her cat. I forgot he wasn't fixed and so he sank his teeth into my arm because he hates that cat and I smelled like him. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 46

By magen - 12/02/2017 02:00 - United States

Today, the family I babysit for spells and says my name correctly more than my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 208

You deserved it 540

By Anonymous - 10/02/2017 19:47 - United States - Cumberland

Today, I got my yearbook. Turns out, they took a picture of me dancing at the first school dance of the year without me knowing. My tongue was sticking out and I looked like a chicken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 58

By Anonymous - 10/02/2017 18:27 - United States - Delanson

Today, my astronomy class is taking a well-hyped trip to an observatory. Coincidentally, tonight there will also be a lunar eclipse, a comet, and apparently full cloud cover. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 23

By anon - 11/02/2017 05:49 - United States

Today, while working at a daycare, one of the toddlers started pitching a fit, threw his head back while I was holding him, and gave me a black eye. Needless to say, he's hard-headed. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 22

By Anonymus - 10/02/2017 10:02 - Estonia - P?rnu

Today I was taking a shower when suddenly my boyfriend rushed in, sat down on the toilet right next to me and took the stinkiest dump of all time. It was way too cold outside so I couldn't open the window. I almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 30

By Kitty_Litter - 09/02/2017 21:56 - United States - Bismarck

Today, while using the bathroom, I sneezed and dropped my phone in the cat litter box. Good news: I didn't break my phone. Bad news: my cat had just used the litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 38

By Nonnie Mus - 07/02/2017 15:32 - United States - Charlottesville

Today I learned that it costs slightly less than a million dollars for an inexperienced, unqualified person to buy the position of Secretary of Education in the United States. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 123

By Anonymous - 07/02/2017 14:09 - Panama - Panama

Today, I dropped my phone and my first reaction was to try to catch it with my foot. I had no shoes on and ended up kicking the phone on a corner which hurt like hell. Additionally, my phone got launched into a wall. Now I have a swollen foot and a broken screen. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 115

By Anonymous - 07/02/2017 07:12 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I have crippling back pain which can only be relieved when I lie down and remain motionless. Unfortunately, I do not get to sleep very often due to my vast amounts of school work, so lying down results in me falling asleep for hours, which puts me behind in school, making me sleep less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 34

By Rolex - 07/02/2017 15:08 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my friend walked in late to a lecture. I waved at him, asked my other mates to make space and he merely greeted and walked to a different seat. My row and the row behind me laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 36

By Anonymous - 06/02/2017 14:48 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I was emailing a picture of my time sheet to my employer so she could run payroll. I didn't notice I accidentally sent her a nude until she emailed me back saying she needed to speak to me next time I come in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 268

By Anonymous - 06/02/2017 14:30 - United States - Miami

Today, while shopping, I overheard a small child comment to her mom "look at that old lady". I was the only person around. I'm 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 48

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The Top

Today, I had to perform a skit in my class in which I have to wear tight spandex compression shorts. The class laughed pretty hard, and I felt like I had done a good job. Afterward, a girl I have a crush on said, "So the stereotype about Asian guys IS true." Through the fluorescent lights you could see my junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 470

You deserved it 11 927

Today, I spent the day with my ex-husband, getting our house ready for market. We've been doing this for weeks, and to my shock, my ex has turned back into the hard-working, handy, patient man I fell in love with. I don't know what to say or do, so I spend every day quietly heartsick with longing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 295

Today, I saw my car being broken into on the street below my apartment. Too scared to stop them myself, I called the police. Before I could even tell them what was going on, they put me on hold. It was a good 5 minutes before I realized they'd hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 232

You deserved it 3 995

Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 469

You deserved it 87 876

Today, my girlfriend met my brother who, despite being 10 years older, is taller, smarter, slimmer, richer, more handsome, and just objectively better in every way. He always has been. An hour ago, she broke up with me. Meeting my brother convinced her she'd settled for me and could do better with almost anyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 169

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 433

You deserved it 25 061