Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

by snarly1 / 12/06/2011 at 3:57am / United States (California) / Work

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my boss announced that instead of holiday bonuses being on the cards, the company is going under and we'll all be out of a job next year. FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2011 at 4:54pm / United States / Work

Today, I was terribly nervous for my patient interview exam as a 4th year medical student. In my nervousness I learned that just because a patient is wearing a T-shirt and shorts, has a short hair cut and a moustache and is named 'Chris', it is not safe to assume that they are male. FML

by Monday / 12/02/2011 at 9:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I was fired. For "lack of attention to details", specifically spelling errors. My now ex-boss misspelled the name of his own company on my severance agreement. FML

by JadeC / 12/01/2011 at 1:55pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paper clip. FML

by ohno / 12/01/2011 at 9:38am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I photocopied several hundred pages of my school's textbook because I didn't want to buy it. My school later says to just buy it and it will be reimbursed. FML

by ChrisD2V / 11/30/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my boss showed us a small picture of his family on his phone. Jokingly, I commented on how the orange shirt he was wearing reminded me of a big pumpkin. He wasn't wearing an orange shirt. His wife was. FML

by TheCrossingChick / 11/30/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I went to a nursing home to sing Christmas carols to the elderly. They threw their bananas at me. FML

by robincakes94 / 11/29/2011 at 7:42am / United States / Work

Today, at work, an overweight man riding an electric cart started peeing all around the store. I had to clean it up. FML

by kait / 11/29/2011 at 12:34am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I had a big presentation to do at work, so I got up early and ran myself a bath. I woke up three hours later, extremely late, and still in the bath. FML

by fuuuuck / 11/28/2011 at 6:43pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work