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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

#20001841
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18038) - you deserved it (5142)

On 08/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by MAC. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

#8193148
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18038) - you deserved it (6596)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:51am - intimacy - by whathef???? - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in the "end-of-the-world" spirit, I asked my boyfriend to marry me. His response was, "It's really windy out." FML

#20410172
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18038) - you deserved it (25413)

On 12/20/2012 at 11:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, after a spate of bad ones, I was in another job interview trying my hardest to give a good impression. After answering a few questions, I realized to my horror that while I was talking I was swiveling my chair from left to right like a nervous child. FML

#19748854
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18037) - you deserved it (4002)

On 06/07/2012 at 8:17am - work - by Swivel - Singapore

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

#18785032
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18035) - you deserved it (9730)

On 01/12/2012 at 1:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

Today, I finally got to attend the concert I have been anticipating for weeks. The band was great. The drunk guy sitting behind me yelling profanity and out of tune lyrics in my ear throughout the entire show, however, was not. FML

#20144110
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18022) - you deserved it (1817)

On 11/02/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by annoyed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML

#20127580
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18014) - you deserved it (4483)

On 10/21/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a stuffed ferret was the latest addition to the list of weird items my colleagues have found in our rubbish tip, and that they put in my office. The list also includes explicit fetish porn playing cards, live ammo and dead pheasants, to name a few. I need a new job. FML

#19220268
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18005) - you deserved it (2150)

On 03/05/2012 at 11:36am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my girlfriend. I told her that I loved her. She asked me how much wind-shield wiper blades cost. FML

#7296803
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18002) - you deserved it (2779)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Upbrakie - United States

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

#19962934
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17999) - you deserved it (26267)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I found out where my surprise honeymoon is; it involves swimming with dolphins. I have a huge fear of dolphins, whales and sharks. FML

#19696496
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17994) - you deserved it (7098)

On 05/28/2012 at 11:36pm - misc - by SwimmingInFear - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I changed my teacher's PowerPoint picture to me making a funny face. He saw it and changed it to a picture of him, with a middle finger. FML

#20686826
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17989) - you deserved it (45782)

On 05/26/2013 at 2:46am - work - by ChangoFett - United States (California)



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