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Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

#3711192
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20072) - you deserved it (82104)

On 07/13/2009 at 5:17am - intimacy - by air (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

#8770202
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20068) - you deserved it (7760)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20067) - you deserved it (258457)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

#17080127
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20065) - you deserved it (47786)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by sm702 - United States (Colorado)

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML

#20181556
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20065) - you deserved it (1516)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML

#19314289
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20063) - you deserved it (4662)

On 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm - misc - by lyla - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

#20881196
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20061) - you deserved it (48497)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:47pm - love - by 181999 - United States (Vermont)

Today, I'm sick. I got the flu shot for the first time ever this year and for the first time in my life, I have the flu. FML

#2279
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20059) - you deserved it (4505)

On 01/23/2009 at 3:24am - health - by cyantist - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

#697920
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20059) - you deserved it (69043)

On 03/30/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Mark (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. About 2 hours later, he got to hold my hair while I puked, also for the first time. FML

#19312067
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20052) - you deserved it (6181)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:49am - love - by notsober - United States

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20053) - you deserved it (2713)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

#4299524
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20048) - you deserved it (41281)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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