Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

#8740298
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18558) - you deserved it (3482)

On 03/01/2010 at 1:43am - love - by duckwater (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I'm participating in a 30 hour awareness-raising event on famine in Africa. I'm supposed to hand out leaflets to people from my booth. My school decided to hand out a literal crate-load of free cupcakes right in front of us. FML

#19239512
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18558) - you deserved it (2681)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by hungry - Canada

Today, I got my cell phone bill. I pay for 700 minutes per month. I used 9 last month. FML

#7338496
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18551) - you deserved it (16003)

On 01/14/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by light_talker (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went on a first date wearing a new hair color. It was Interior Latex Slate Speckled Grey, from accidentally leaning my head against a wall while house painting earlier. FML

#10772348
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18550) - you deserved it (12571)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:18am - misc - by pandasbear - United States (California)

Today, I went to the beach with a friend. We'd forgotten to get our towels out of the SUV, so I rushed back to the parking lot. I opened the passenger-side door and climbed in to begin my search. After ten seconds or so, I realized I'd busted into someone else's car. FML

#19954637
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18551) - you deserved it (5925)

On 07/18/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took some new allergy medicine I had never tried before, and I didn't bother reading the side effects. I then went to school. It was almost an hour before dismissal when I had felt a warm feeling on my legs. One of the side effects to my new medicine was bladder control problems. FML

#11906376
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18549) - you deserved it (23459)

On 07/15/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by darthinvader (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

#6055815
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18543) - you deserved it (4695)

On 10/29/2009 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
274 comments

Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML

#19568451
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18538) - you deserved it (4265)

On 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by screwedupkid -

Today, I was listening to my favorite radio station outta Detroit. A commercial came on for a program that was giving federal grants to people who were going into a trade, like me. Right as I was getting excited I heard the words "brought to you by the government of Canada." FML

#8116532
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18534) - you deserved it (4954)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:13am - work - by brit - United States (Colorado)

Today, I opened my lunch in front of my friends at university. I had a note in my lunch from my mother that said "Have a good day sweetie! - Love mom". I wrote that note, and put it in my lunch to impress my friends. FML

#3613021
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18534) - you deserved it (60390)

On 07/09/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by sadlife (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dove head-first underneath my garage door, narrowly missing both the sensor and the closing door, executing a perfect roll, and popping back up onto my feet unscathed. My smugness went through the floor as I remembered I'd left my keys back in the house. FML

#18798370
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18533) - you deserved it (13003)

On 01/13/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, I realized that the only things I gained from my masters programs are more debt and the knowledge that you can use a semicolon in a list. FML

#8437472
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18533) - you deserved it (4793)

On 02/19/2010 at 7:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: