Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a $20 tip from an old lady I delivered pizza to. Ecstatic, I walked back to my car where there was a $30 parking fine waiting for me. FML

#19692840
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22662) - you deserved it (8170)

On 05/28/2012 at 9:55am - money - by dammit33 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22661) - you deserved it (55512)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22659) - you deserved it (66293)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I offered my phone number to the guy I've been flirting back and forth with all week. He said no. FML

#19497689
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22660) - you deserved it (3674)

On 04/19/2012 at 9:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was working the cash register. While helping a customer with her groceries, my bra snapped. I then had to ask my male boss if I could staple it back together. Thirty minutes later it snapped again. I then had to explain to my boss that I was too broke to buy a new one. FML

#20050418
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22658) - you deserved it (2179)

On 08/31/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by thatgirl17 - United States

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

#20178576
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22657) - you deserved it (1511)

On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my father decided that since he's paying for my flat, he will use it twice a week to have it off with his girlfriend while I'm away. My parents are still together. FML

#6081535
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22655) - you deserved it (2169)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:54am - intimacy - by franzbiel (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)

Today, I walked in on my dad and his new "girlfriend". A couple days ago I realized that my sexy clothes that my boyfriend had bought me for our anniversary was missing. Guess who was wearing it? FML

#6161509
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22653) - you deserved it (1871)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Meggie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

#16173128
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22653) - you deserved it (12652)

On 05/14/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by bloodyLIP - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't know what I was going to do over the Christmas holidays since he was going to be out of the country. He suggested that I work out and do some sit-ups. FML

#18550542
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22653) - you deserved it (7807)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:31am - love - by Doy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML

Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote with my feet. I then realized that it is pretty much my only talent. FML

#17280926
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22651) - you deserved it (7880)

On 07/27/2011 at 6:21pm - misc - by supergirl7 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was making my bed which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML

#13364492
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22650) - you deserved it (9731)

On 10/08/2010 at 6:53am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: