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Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked in and gave me disgusted look. She thought I was playing with myself. FML

#13624722
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22233) - you deserved it (5803)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:00am - intimacy - by djoe - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML

#316205
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22230) - you deserved it (188528)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by like - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML

#19908614
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22228) - you deserved it (6072)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:47am - animals - by scorpionsurviver - United States

Today, as I was buying carrots, a little red light started flashing and an alarm sounded. Curious, I looked up, only to get sprayed in the face by a sprinkler for the produce section of the store. FML

#11991356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22227) - you deserved it (8616)

On 07/19/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by PrintMaster - United States

Today, I decide to go to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her stuff back. I broke up with her earlier this week after a 2 year relationship, and I'd hoped she would have realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I ring the doorbell and her new boyfriend opens the door. FML

#572
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22226) - you deserved it (9560)

On 12/22/2008 at 6:54am - love - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20km over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML

#20401140
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22228) - you deserved it (7285)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML

#20014051
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22225) - you deserved it (3571)

On 08/10/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by shira512 (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

#19475890
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22225) - you deserved it (3065)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

#19379891
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22225) - you deserved it (3131)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:22am - health - by GetHardOrGoHome - United States (Ohio)

Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML

#7011501
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22222) - you deserved it (2535)

On 12/29/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by patrickRafael (man) - Singapore

Today, I received a parking fine for $147. My car isn't even worth that much. FML

#19045980
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22222) - you deserved it (6929)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:03am - money - by jam - Australia

Today, I was sitting at a bus stop reading a book when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a middle-aged lady in a leopard-skin coat stumble up to me. She stopped, belched twice, and unleashed a torrent of red wine colored vomit onto my bag. It was 8:45 am. FML

#20067411
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22222) - you deserved it (1254)

On 09/11/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

#8805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22221) - you deserved it (2663)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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