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Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

#7742822
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18779) - you deserved it (32945)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML

#8479975
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18779) - you deserved it (8581)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:58pm - misc - by moobysrocks - United States

Today, I had to pay my manager $10 just to take my stalker's order so I didn't have to. FML

#20087724
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18775) - you deserved it (1970)

On 09/25/2012 at 3:08am - work - by snowbell18 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18774) - you deserved it (4291)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I see my dad on a bike so I shout after him. He turns his head around and then runs into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML

#2028672
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18771) - you deserved it (32132)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:35pm - misc - by Richocet - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked a good friend what she thought would make me more attractive to women. Her advice was, "Don't be yourself." FML

#19073869
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18766) - you deserved it (2902)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:05pm - misc - by random - United States

Today, I put signs up in the lifts at work with my name and desk phone number as the contact in case the lifts break down. I work in IT so there are hundreds of men in the building. Someone has already drawn a very wonky heart next to my name. FML

#15349045
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18763) - you deserved it (4828)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:00am - work - by Peppermint (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worrying he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I left the cash in the machine. FML

#518934
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18762) - you deserved it (77074)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML

#19811531
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18762) - you deserved it (2330)

On 06/19/2012 at 5:59am - misc - by Stu (man) - United States

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18761) - you deserved it (6668)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

#20016571
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18760) - you deserved it (10245)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was hanging out with a co-worker who I really liked. One thing led to another and we ended up going to her house and hooked up. Once we'd finished, I noticed another co-workers ID on the floor by her bed. I asked her about it and she said he must have dropped it there last night. FML

#4994251
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18749) - you deserved it (7687)

On 09/02/2009 at 4:41am - intimacy - by Mdrk783 (man) - United States

Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML



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