Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I used a man's shirt as a pillowcase and sprayed it with cologne so I wouldn't feel alone in the night. FML

#19954113
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23178) - you deserved it (7675)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:21am - love - by MaeMoss (woman) - United States

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML

#19134075
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23175) - you deserved it (2827)

On 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by kohler9790 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents don't know the difference between a foreign person and a deaf person. They've been yelling at our exchange student for the past 2 days. FML

#20034373
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23172) - you deserved it (1503)

On 08/21/2012 at 7:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML

#20127982
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23170) - you deserved it (1523)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I received an e-mail from the Unemployment Department saying they had a job referral for me. After excitedly reading the description, I realised it was the job I'd just been fired from (at a much higher pay). If I don't go through the application process, I will be denied my unemployment. FML

#8862243
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23169) - you deserved it (2188)

On 03/06/2010 at 2:28am - work - by AlyssaBC (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that me and her father's wedding is just a big joke and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

#21430948
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23184) - you deserved it (2473)

On 06/24/2015 at 12:02am - love - by bummed out step monster - United States (California)

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

#20507998
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23165) - you deserved it (15074)

On 02/15/2013 at 8:57am - health - by PurpleSloth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my finger nail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML

#19241359
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23164) - you deserved it (2547)

On 03/08/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I found out my home health patient purposely drinks tons of prune juice every night so I will have a huge mess to clean up in the morning because I'm "a lazy bastard" and I "need to work harder." FML

#19885470
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23164) - you deserved it (2400)

On 07/03/2012 at 11:08am - work - by melikeyturtles - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23163) - you deserved it (6078)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML

#9572677
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23161) - you deserved it (8954)

On 04/02/2010 at 7:33am - misc - by Gina - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23160) - you deserved it (1982)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, we watched a movie in class. Afterwards, the professor asked us what we thought. I raised my hand and said it was pretentious, dull and a really poor example of filmmaking. It was the movie HE spent five years writing and directing. FML

#222376
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23158) - you deserved it (47518)

On 03/05/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: