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Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML

#7821444
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19990) - you deserved it (5124)

On 02/02/2010 at 7:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I left my car in a disreputable area. After picking it up later on, I heard a strange "clonking" sound. The clonking suddenly stopped when my wheel fell off; someone had stolen my wheel nuts. FML

#8941077
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19990) - you deserved it (3819)

On 03/09/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by 3-wheeler (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I went to school prepared to speak in front of a whole bunch of kids and talk about how great my middle school is. I spent an hour on the speech and took the 45 minute drive there. Turns out the coordinator of the school only called me in to pass out brochures. FML

Today, I was talking to an art critic at an exhibition. He told me that the artist had no talent and went on to tell me everything wrong with each painting. I'd painted them all. FML

#20065231
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19989) - you deserved it (2075)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:12pm - work - by the bad artist - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML

#300498
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19989) - you deserved it (189024)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada

Today, I had to jump into my car while it was still moving. Apparently, just because you put it in park and turn it off, doesn't mean it won't take off towards a ditch without warning. FML

#18473570
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19988) - you deserved it (7882)

On 12/10/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by CassieMarieee - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to ruin my innocence. FML

#5141193
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19986) - you deserved it (3378)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:13am - intimacy - by Magnus_the_Red (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

#14242340
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19986) - you deserved it (82022)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after my check cleared for my half of the $1000 deposit on our new apartment. FML

#19666389
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19982) - you deserved it (1957)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:26am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was walking down the road when a twat on a quad-bike smashed into my leg. It seems that I should've been "walking on the right side of the pavement." FML

#18199894
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19980) - you deserved it (3181)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:57am - misc - by LukeyBoy - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

#4464
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19979) - you deserved it (4370)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home from work and went into the bathroom. I saw a poo on the toilet lid, and thinking it was a trick toy that my son had got to trick me, I picked it up. It wasn't a toy. FML

#18983389
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19979) - you deserved it (22079)

On 02/03/2012 at 10:49am - kids - by AvengedSevenX - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

#20117718
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19978) - you deserved it (2059)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa



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