Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

#20126033
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12810) - you deserved it (9576)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

#225993
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12807) - you deserved it (40905)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by thebickster (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML

#1713155
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12805) - you deserved it (76715)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm at home sick and someone is moving into the apartment above ours. Judging by the sounds and level of noise, they seem to be opening some sort of woodworking shop. FML

#19513713
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12793) - you deserved it (1152)

On 04/22/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by whirlednews - United States

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

#18240312
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12790) - you deserved it (21716)

On 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm - misc - by ThatHurts (man) - Canada

Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere I say "you're my favorite!". Now I'm sitting here talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML

#1176288
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12780) - you deserved it (108874)

On 04/20/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Damnlife123 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I checked over my notes from yesterday's midterm review so I could study for the test on Monday. It seems I was so exhausted, I'd done nothing but scribble unintelligibly all over the first page. FML

#19109454
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12780) - you deserved it (5513)

On 02/18/2012 at 6:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML

#2201893
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12778) - you deserved it (57240)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by onlyme (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML

#19773709
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12769) - you deserved it (6441)

On 06/11/2012 at 10:40pm - animals - by Anon127 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at the supermarket everybody was staring at me. After ten minutes, I realized that my umbrella was still open. FML

#708
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12766) - you deserved it (14209)

On 01/05/2009 at 5:45am - misc - by didi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I backed my car into a parked car in a parking lot. Not only did I back into a parked car, but it was the ONLY parked car there. FML

#991895
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12765) - you deserved it (64074)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML

#20103809
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12765) - you deserved it (1344)

On 10/06/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Joey - United States (Nevada)

Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper would think I have a love life. FML

#7161504
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12764) - you deserved it (27941)

On 01/05/2010 at 9:06am - love - by PJ (man) - United States (Texas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: