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Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

#20941762
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21460) - you deserved it (50355)

On 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm - health - by nl4 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, as I was riding the bus, a lady told her daughter to sit next to me. She looked at me and started to scream and cry in horror. FML

#19357176
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21461) - you deserved it (2473)

On 03/27/2012 at 12:32pm - misc - by AmihayG - Israel

Today, I was kicked out of my review lecture at community college, for "being a disturbance and refusing to stop whistling." I wasn't even given a chance to explain that I have a cold. FML

#19382867
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21458) - you deserved it (2173)

On 03/31/2012 at 2:53pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a panic attack at 2am because someone decided to throw a snowball at my window. FML

#14482649
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21453) - you deserved it (6278)

On 01/06/2011 at 3:58am - health - by nuerrotticc -

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

#20643761
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21451) - you deserved it (41164)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by LilaTheGreat - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML

#19146021
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21449) - you deserved it (3735)

On 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while shopping for a pair of shoes, I saw a pair I really liked lying around, so I sat down to try them on. Then, a man came up to me and pointed out that they were actually his shoes. FML

#407
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21449) - you deserved it (5262)

On 11/28/2008 at 5:28am - misc - by Gregory - Sent from mobile version

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML

#132176
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21447) - you deserved it (38100)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by riappp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the bus on my way home. I was reading a book, and drops of something were getting all over it. It was the man sitting next to me who was asleep and drooling. FML

#6903052
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21446) - you deserved it (2189)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:56pm - misc - by fml_forever32 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

#21223464
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21445) - you deserved it (62501)

On 07/29/2014 at 3:58am - misc - by jayswizzle89 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad decided to get his friend to help move our old sofas to save money. Its leg got stuck in the doorway, scratched the entire hallway wall, punched a big hole in it and the other leg made a big dent in our front door. We live in an apartment complex and now have to to pay for everything to be fixed. FML

#6610013
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21442) - you deserved it (5743)

On 12/05/2009 at 12:29am - money - by Harry (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I received a notice that my boyfriend had given me a rose via Happy Aquarium on Facebook. It came with a date cancellation so that he and his friends could play BioShock. FML

#8246413
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21438) - you deserved it (4237)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:32am - love - by Fv-day (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a Christmas present from my boss. It was an ab workout video. FML

#6809461
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21436) - you deserved it (4207)

On 12/18/2009 at 11:19am - work - by B (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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