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Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML

#20008728
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21827) - you deserved it (2407)

On 08/08/2012 at 12:19am - money - by Heinz (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21827) - you deserved it (12246)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

#19343109
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21823) - you deserved it (1754)

On 03/25/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by LesToiliettes - United States (Ohio)

Today, I forgot to take a certain medication that helps turn my lead logs into flaky floaters. So what happens? I'm in the restroom for 30 minutes, straining to go, and two girls walk in and start imitating me. FML

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

#21282480
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21820) - you deserved it (28022)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by GetMeTheDamnBleach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I went to an underwear shop, and an employee recommended me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML

#1427
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21819) - you deserved it (2070)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:31am - misc - by Pakundo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML

#20196008
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21817) - you deserved it (3596)

On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a call from my local hospital's emergency room, stating my wife was in labour. My wife and I split years ago, but just haven't divorced. She is telling everyone I am the baby's father, my current girlfriend is 7 months pregnant with my child. FML

#6863042
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you deserved it (8438)

On 12/21/2009 at 10:23am - intimacy - by johnG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML

#19990341
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21815) - you deserved it (2933)

On 07/29/2012 at 4:11am - kids - by ellieowenie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I drove for hours to attend a martial arts tournament, and then I waited ages for it to finally start. I lost in less than a minute. FML

#19548307
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21810) - you deserved it (5847)

On 04/29/2012 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my car was towed for the second time in front of my own house. They tried to tell me it was because they didn't think I lived there anymore. The person who had it towed had just spoken to me not three hours before. FML

#20047754
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21809) - you deserved it (1344)

On 08/29/2012 at 11:01am - money - by drixxy - United States (California)

Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML

#19890134
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21804) - you deserved it (5059)

On 07/04/2012 at 9:48am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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