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Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML

#15974313
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13162) - you deserved it (33542)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Celluloid (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was helping my friend pack her carry on for her vacation. I drove her to the airport, and after her plane took off, I noticed I put my cell phone in her purse. Her vacation is 2 months long. FML

#5621142
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13158) - you deserved it (27812)

On 10/03/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML

#20167023
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13155) - you deserved it (21407)

On 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm - kids - by susan (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to pay my vehicle registration in person to avoid paying the $10.00 online service fee. After a long wait, I came out to find a $15.00 parking ticket on my car. FML

#12754430
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13144) - you deserved it (18917)

On 08/26/2010 at 11:09am - money - by avalanche719 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out that my apartment complex has no rules against having charcoal grills on the porch. So did the guy who lives below me. FML

#19449205
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13135) - you deserved it (1960)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:06am - misc - by Sios (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13134) - you deserved it (34880)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML

#20099743
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13134) - you deserved it (30068)

On 10/03/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by lonerboner (woman) - United States

Today, I spilled a glass of iced tea all over my desk. It trickled down the wall and fried an extension cord. FML

#8615940
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13132) - you deserved it (7802)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:43pm - misc - by dumbbass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell in a river with a £700 camera, a £200 lens, and an iPhone while trying to rescue a 50 pence ball for my dog. FML

#9069582
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13131) - you deserved it (25005)

On 03/14/2010 at 9:36am - money - by Rick (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was working in the box office. A group came in for tickets but wanted to pay individually. One paid $40 for a $25 ticket. Laughing, I reached for the calculator while saying, "I went to public school, so I can't do math." They didn't laugh. They were all teachers in public schools. FML

#4379266
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13128) - you deserved it (47822)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:02am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13128) - you deserved it (1673)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML

#252691
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13127) - you deserved it (96535)

On 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by collegegirl90 - United States (Texas)

Today, a stoplight turned yellow as I was approaching it. I was about to go through but saw a cop, panicked, and slammed on the brakes. I ended up in the middle of the intersection and had to reverse. Soon the light turned green, and I stepped on the gas. My car was still in reverse. FML

#142298
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13121) - you deserved it (41884)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:17am - misc - by River (woman) - United States (Delaware)



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