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Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML

#18711671
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20133) - you deserved it (4141)

On 01/04/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML

#8439216
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20132) - you deserved it (4262)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the next two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML

#19901144
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20133) - you deserved it (6725)

On 07/06/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by :$ (woman) - United States

Today, I got an email notification from Yahoo! Personals: "Hi, we've found 0 new matches for you". FML

#1495
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20129) - you deserved it (2408)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:40pm - love - by sad sack. - United States (Florida)

Today, I finished moving cross-country and signed a 13 month lease to be closer to my on-again / off-again boyfriend of the past five years. I showed up at his place to borrow his truck just as his "local" girlfriend was leaving. FML

Today, I was in a café when a construction worker asked to borrow a pen. The only pen I had on me was my brand new Parker, which I reluctantly loaned him. As he was writing, he stopped to think, and happily chewed on the end of the pen, which he later returned to me, glistening in saliva. FML

#19659834
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20127) - you deserved it (4621)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:48pm - misc - by BowlofCherries (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

#20431454
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20127) - you deserved it (40200)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a text from my roommate asking me if it was cool that my ex was coming over to console him because he's sick. FML

#2860
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20125) - you deserved it (1595)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by dammed - United States (New York)

Today, I re-broke my leg. The same way I broke it the first time, playing frisbee. FML

#18344372
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20123) - you deserved it (12296)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:44am - health - by Sammy - United States (Georgia)

Today, after volleyball practice, I noticed my pants were missing. Now I have to go to work wearing spandex bottoms, all because one of my teammates is a thieving douche. FML

#20033828
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20123) - you deserved it (1790)

On 08/21/2012 at 12:39pm - work - by Rimmy Jobs (woman) - United States

Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML

#20400784
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20123) - you deserved it (4249)

On 12/15/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by oh gee, you don't say (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

#8923957
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20121) - you deserved it (6094)

On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

#14365818
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20120) - you deserved it (4804)

On 12/28/2010 at 3:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)



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