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Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML

#18853580
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24280) - you deserved it (4997)

On 01/19/2012 at 2:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML

#20163899
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24280) - you deserved it (2013)

On 11/15/2012 at 12:48am - love - by B-Rad (man) - United States

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

#626
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24279) - you deserved it (6508)

On 12/29/2008 at 11:54pm - love - by sneezer - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother sent my birthday present to me four days late. It was a handy keychain blood alcohol detector so I can make sure I'm sober before I drive. FML

#6068781
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24278) - you deserved it (7226)

On 10/30/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I returned to work after a restful week-long holiday. Before I left, I'd finished a huge assignment which is due this week. I walk in to find a water pipe has burst just above my desk, flooding our office with water and ruining my computer. Happy New Year to me. FML

#7142221
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24278) - you deserved it (2312)

On 01/04/2010 at 6:15am - work - by WetWetWet (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML

#17643639
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24278) - you deserved it (4046)

On 09/02/2011 at 10:56am - animals - by PghSportsNation - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my parents don't know the difference between a foreign person and a deaf person. They've been yelling at our exchange student for the past 2 days. FML

#20034373
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24279) - you deserved it (1587)

On 08/21/2012 at 7:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I once again used my phone to get out of a conversation with someone, instead of actually talking to someone on it. FML

#21298539
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24278) - you deserved it (7147)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:04pm - misc - by Jakeok (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML

Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML

#14646268
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24277) - you deserved it (3047)

On 01/20/2011 at 1:01am - intimacy - by welly223 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, it's my birthday. My parents, whom I live with, told me that they did not get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

#15185278
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24277) - you deserved it (7605)

On 03/03/2011 at 9:21am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was working with some shelter puppies transporting them to the vet's. I got all of the puppies in but one, and when I went to pull him out, I realized he had gotten car sick. Before I could stop it happening, he wagged his vomit-covered tail and hit me in the face. FML

#13123963
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24276) - you deserved it (2898)

On 09/20/2010 at 2:13am - work - by sandra - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend keeps my toenails in her deceased grandmother's prized music box. She says it's to, "Keep the box natural." I don't understand why she does this, or what she means by "natural." FML

#21383678
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24276) - you deserved it (2056)

On 03/29/2015 at 5:18pm - misc - by coldasfire - United States



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