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Today, I learned that it takes about half an hour to get melted cheese out of your hair. FML

#17956536
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15533) - you deserved it (4831)

On 10/10/2011 at 11:34pm - health - by jzappe - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML

#8653612
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15531) - you deserved it (3422)

On 02/25/2010 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by Katrina641 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

#916470
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15529) - you deserved it (80337)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to buy a wrist brace for a repetitive strain injury. I got the injury because I was knitting too much. I'm 22. FML

#11365863
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15529) - you deserved it (21682)

On 06/21/2010 at 9:28pm - health - by GrannyAt22 (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I found out that the little arrow next to my gas gauge actually points to the side of the car where the tank is. For the past year-and-a-half I've been sticking my head out the window and even calling my parents to ask which side it was on, because I can never remember. FML

#21071932
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15527) - you deserved it (44269)

On 02/26/2014 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, like any other day I struggled to put my boots on, went to pee and noticed my pants were covered in what looked like a green dust. I touched it, sniffed it, and it smelled utterly horrendous. So I took my boots off again only to find that one of my cats had took a dump in one of them. FML

Today, a woman walked out of the Humane Society with a cat carrier. I said, "Oh did you adopt him?" She walked past and started crying. She had just brought her cat in to be euthanized. FML

#6800
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15521) - you deserved it (6722)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:19pm - animals - by Ves (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

#12946096
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15520) - you deserved it (19747)

On 09/07/2010 at 6:18am - intimacy - by neckcrack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML

#20630741
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15520) - you deserved it (52876)

On 04/29/2013 at 5:11pm - misc - by random - Canada

Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML

#7701844
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15519) - you deserved it (2053)

On 01/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I vacuumed my car as I'm trying to sell it. After the interior was clean, I sprayed some air freshener. The chosen smell was "new car". I think they mislabeled it, as my car now smells like urinal cakes. I have two potential buyers coming tomorrow. FML

#19201206
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15516) - you deserved it (3342)

On 03/02/2012 at 5:19am - misc - by Urinal Fresh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convinced I'm an idiot. FML

#20446711
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15514) - you deserved it (31486)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met a new client in person for the first time. When I went to shake his hand, it was made of plastic. Startled, I laughed thinking it was a practical joke. It wasn't. FML

#813501
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15513) - you deserved it (57216)

On 04/05/2009 at 4:48am - work - by HDCkid (man) - United States (California)



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