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Today, after applying for a promotion to a position which I've been working my ass off for two years to get, my managers thought it would be appropriate to discuss other applicants in front of me, even asking me to compare my resume with theirs to see the "caliber" of what I'm up against. FML

#19621126
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17778) - you deserved it (1734)

On 05/14/2012 at 6:39am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML

#12544003
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17773) - you deserved it (37265)

On 08/15/2010 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Peekaman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my dog back from my aunt. Rather than taking him to an actual groomer, I gave him to my aunt because she needed a few extra bucks. My generosity lost me $35, and gave my dog ticks and a bad haircut. FML

#19304528
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17773) - you deserved it (4676)

On 03/18/2012 at 11:09pm - animals - by tickdog - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

#16074104
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17770) - you deserved it (40253)

On 05/07/2011 at 12:46am - love - by littlegirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I changed my 2009 new year's resolution to lose my virginity to my 2010 new year's resolution. FML

#7119035
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17764) - you deserved it (4909)

On 01/03/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by stillavirgin (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML

#828379
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17758) - you deserved it (59744)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received my best compliment of the year so far when an ER doctor commented positively on the clarity of my urine sample. FML

#19992508
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17756) - you deserved it (1936)

On 07/30/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to convince my boyfriend to come over, telling him it would be "worth his time." He asked, "How?" I said, "Dazzling conversation of course. Just kidding, you'll probably get laid." He replied, "Oh. Well I would if it was for the conversation." FML

#6441814
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17752) - you deserved it (6308)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:23am - intimacy - by sexyconvo (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

#880527
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17751) - you deserved it (68345)

On 04/09/2009 at 1:04am - love - by skmusic (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I saw a video of me from over the weekend, naked, pretending to be a duck. What the fuck happened that night? FML

#10748926
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17750) - you deserved it (51948)

On 05/25/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by laurenraeee - United States (Utah)

Today, I organized a romantic evening with one of my old squeezes in the hopes I may re-ignite something special. She showed up at 8 and told me she had to leave by 9. She was gone by 8:30. FML

#2715
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17746) - you deserved it (4512)

On 01/26/2009 at 5:56pm - love - by LDL - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my Grandma was showing me an ancient family letter. It was apparently written by someone historically famous. She was going on about how important it was, in such good condition too, worth a lot. I dropped my glass of juice. It spilt all over it. FML

#101667
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17746) - you deserved it (41636)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by damn-it (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up with this terrible toothache and called my mother for a lift to the dentist. This super-dentist-chick enters in and says: "Nice to meet you, your mother just told me you're afraid of dentists?" I'm 29. FML

#2012
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17744) - you deserved it (2868)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:36am - love - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)



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