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Today, I finally felt the effects of a laxative that I took last night. This morning, when I was in the dentist's chair. FML

#13960658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (6106)

On 11/24/2010 at 10:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, it turns out that my hairy feet are the most memorable part about me. My family's named me "the hobbit". FML

#17991756
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (3725)

On 10/15/2011 at 6:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, a customer asked for my number. When I declined, he made a huge scene, shouting and scaring other customers. He tipped me seven cents. FML

#17980865
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (2180)

On 10/14/2011 at 5:35am - work - by scribbler8 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out we have new neighbors in our apartment complex that park in the stall next to our truck. Turns out their car is the same make of our truck. And it also turns out that when I unlock our truck it will set off their car alarm - every time. FML

#18942006
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (1696)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by delamer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML

#19309374
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (4957)

On 03/19/2012 at 7:50pm - money - by moneycatious (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML

#13622305
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22263) - you deserved it (14495)

On 10/28/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by unsatisfying (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

#20860218
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22263) - you deserved it (32203) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/30/2013 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonyme (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML

#20002131
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (6635)

On 08/04/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by ooops (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

#1222534
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (82391)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my dad found the ugliest picture my mom has ever taken. I show it to her laughing. She said it looks like me. I looked again and it kind of does. FML

#13307467
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (7078)

On 10/03/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by krt - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML

#19921973
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22255) - you deserved it (8898)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML

#7608615
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22249) - you deserved it (4674)

On 01/27/2010 at 6:55am - intimacy - by Patrick - United States (Illinois)

Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML

#20628506
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22247) - you deserved it (34985)

On 04/28/2013 at 7:40pm - work - by AbhorrentApplication (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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