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Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

#20063309
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20092) - you deserved it (12392)

On 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by dating a fucking idiot (woman) - United States

Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML

#19996379
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20091) - you deserved it (8309)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:20pm - misc - by unlicensed - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML

#6718371
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20087) - you deserved it (3762)

On 12/12/2009 at 2:28am - intimacy - by Laura_2118 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized I'd rather be constipated, sick, sit in long traffic lines and inadvertantly eat spoiled meat than spend another day at my shitty job. All things that happened to me today. FML

#8840296
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20083) - you deserved it (2411)

On 03/05/2010 at 3:01am - work - by Petergibbons - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

#19515132
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20083) - you deserved it (1714)

On 04/23/2012 at 1:50am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML

#20579784
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20077) - you deserved it (37741)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by JacktheRussian (man) - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

#3711192
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20075) - you deserved it (82109)

On 07/13/2009 at 5:17am - intimacy - by air (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

#8770202
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20071) - you deserved it (7760)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20070) - you deserved it (258582)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML

#20181556
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20069) - you deserved it (1516)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

#17080127
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20067) - you deserved it (47794)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by sm702 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML

#19314289
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20067) - you deserved it (4663)

On 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm - misc - by lyla - United States

Today, I'm sick. I got the flu shot for the first time ever this year and for the first time in my life, I have the flu. FML

#2279
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20066) - you deserved it (4505)

On 01/23/2009 at 3:24am - health - by cyantist - United States (Massachusetts)



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