Choose the period

Choose a category

Today, I went to a New Year's party with my boyfriend. Later into the night, he got drunk, and left me there to go to another party with his friends. I have no car, and no way to get home. FML

by Alana / 01/01/2011 at 12:27am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to my ex. This afternoon I notice that they had accepted, and had left a message for me in my inbox. Asking how they knew me. FML

by josh / 01/23/2009 at 7:33am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

by john r.t. / 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

by IHateMyJob / 09/13/2010 at 10:00pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I was talking to a colleague about love. He told me he's given up on love because things ended badly with a previous girl. I said, "Maybe it wasn't meant to be, and she wasn't the one." He then said the reason it didn't work out was because she killed herself. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2015 at 8:37am / Portugal (Lisboa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

by SprinklerDodger / 06/08/2012 at 7:54pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Love

Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML

by disheshateme / 11/18/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML

by misty_love / 03/10/2010 at 3:09am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2012 at 2:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I went home, where I live alone, from my dorm room at my university. The only Christmas cards I had received were addressed to the person that lived there before me. FML

by LonelySanta / 12/24/2009 at 3:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé emailed me some steamy pics. Too bad he forgot to erase "FWD:" from the subject line. FML

by ohyesIfeelspecial / 05/18/2012 at 12:05pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Work

Today, to wipe his crack, my boyfriend is still using a newspaper that I left there when he first started refusing to buy toilet paper. FML

by pandaface / 02/18/2011 at 4:39am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Health