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Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24548) - you deserved it (6972)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

#20194899
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24548) - you deserved it (3208)

On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML

#18009557
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24547) - you deserved it (4438)

On 10/17/2011 at 8:16pm - love - by pupitre (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML

#20175687
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24546) - you deserved it (1556)

On 11/23/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my coworker was talking to me about how there's always that one person in a group of friends that everyone secretly dislikes and laughs at. I realized that person is me. FML

#19434317
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24545) - you deserved it (2789)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Foreveralone (woman) - United States

Today, after 2 months of searching, I finally found a good, stable job. How does the universe reward me upon waking up on my very first day? With a burning yeast infection. FML

#21445936
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24545) - you deserved it (2473)

On 07/23/2015 at 11:07am - health - by rhcpgurl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friends house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML

#2261901
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (55315)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by ninjawhat1337 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML

#21266978
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (34183)

On 09/28/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at stressing out, so I have something to fall back on if I bomb the test." To which she replied, "And masturbating, you've always excelled at that." FML

#21422751
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (4156)

On 06/08/2015 at 9:35am - intimacy - by LZapped (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered that I've lost thirty pounds since having my second child. However, I still weigh just as much as I did when I was full-term with my first child. FML

#14600676
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24541) - you deserved it (8199)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML

#15784060
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24541) - you deserved it (4455)

On 04/14/2011 at 1:35pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

#20114686
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24540) - you deserved it (2531)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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