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Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML

#21456100
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25944) - you deserved it (2388)

On 08/14/2015 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by maybe if i was paid like them i would (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my laptop back after lending it to my friend. It wouldn't boot, and after investigating I found out it'd been stripped of its hard drive and all its memory. When I confronted my "friend", he accused me of lying and trying to ruin his reputation. FML

#21492099
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25944) - you deserved it (2443)

On 11/13/2015 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was happy to finally receive an email from my younger sister, whom I have not been able to talk to for months due to being in the military stationed overseas. The email was to tell me my mom is in jail. FML

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

#19411591
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25942) - you deserved it (4290)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while working as a cart attendant, I found one of my coworkers on a lawn chair sipping on a Bud light in the parking lot, while we both were supposed to be working, leaving me to push carts by myself. My boss comes out to me catching my breath and tells me to work harder. FML

#21444844
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25942) - you deserved it (1858)

On 07/21/2015 at 2:05am - work - by actionboy116 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I missed an important phone call. It's been so long since someone has called me that I didn't recognize my own ringtone. FML

#19195246
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25942) - you deserved it (4168)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, my dad got a warning from our ISP for going well over their fair usage limit. I barely use our wifi, and I keep telling him he should password-protect our router to stop people leeching our Internet. He's blaming me anyway, and says I'm grounded until January. FML

#20195319
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25940) - you deserved it (1856)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by WPA2 OR DEATH (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

Today, I was talking to my parents, when all of a sudden my dad starts freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is, he was dead serious the whole time. FML

#6770677
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25939) - you deserved it (2317)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:34pm - misc - by allergyface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML

#13012343
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25936) - you deserved it (8979)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ewmomew (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

#20108214
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25933) - you deserved it (5116)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day working as a dental assistant, leaving me in charge of all cleaning. The first patient was so scared, he peed his pants. Which might have been understandable if he hadn't been a fully grown man. FML

#21384513
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25933) - you deserved it (2345)

On 03/30/2015 at 11:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my friend and I went to see our favorite band in concert. We walked at least a mile from our parking space and stood in line for two hours. My friend was supposed to have the tickets in her purse. She actually had, but she left her purse in the car. FML

#6626630
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25933) - you deserved it (4879)

On 12/06/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by musiclover (woman) - United States (Florida)



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