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Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML

#20074336
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15376) - you deserved it (2442)

On 09/16/2012 at 9:46am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15372) - you deserved it (45041)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15366) - you deserved it (43292)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

#19625273
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15367) - you deserved it (2060)

On 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15364) - you deserved it (3341)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML

#12535348
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15361) - you deserved it (35237)

On 08/15/2010 at 5:47am - work - by jacko (man) - Reserved

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

#21216504
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15370) - you deserved it (1108)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:15pm - work - by notpayedenoughforthisshit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML

#19620851
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15358) - you deserved it (1297)

On 05/14/2012 at 3:37am - misc - by AmatureLitCritic - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized I've been sinking into a deep depression, ignoring all my friends, and don't know what to do with my life anymore. This is all because I gave up Facebook for lent. FML

#15515343
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15354) - you deserved it (51020)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

#18153680
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15354) - you deserved it (45284)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family went to a football game. It was a little cold, but then it started to rain. I wasn't dressed for rain and I'd left my umbrella in the car. My dad wouldn't let us leave our seats for the whole game. FML

#13754254
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15353) - you deserved it (4201)

On 11/07/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by kaitlintaylor (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML

#14945395
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15350) - you deserved it (24069)

On 02/12/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Liar Liar - United States

Today, I had a really cute waitress at lunch. I decided to leave my number and a $50 bill for a $15 check. When I left the restaurant I realized I still had the $50 but a $1 bill was missing from my wallet. I've been getting threatening text messages all day. FML

#829368
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15343) - you deserved it (57809)

On 04/06/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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