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Today, I was talking on my mobile and walking into a grocery store saying, quite loudly, "Time heals all wounds!" right as I passed a woman with significant burns covering her face. I guess I was wrong. FML

#989435
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18326) - you deserved it (48669)

On 04/15/2009 at 12:17pm - misc - by Insensitive (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I figured out it's the first time my roommate has done the dishes after living together an entire year, but I got to clean up the bubble waterfall that came pouring out of the dishwasher because she couldn't figure out where the detergent was supposed to go. FML

#9064267
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18325) - you deserved it (2095)

On 03/14/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by kkbb - United States (New Jersey)

Today, coming home from a trip in the mountains, I got a cracked radiator and my car overheated. My dad came to get me, he drove my car and I followed in his. I got pulled over and ticketed for his expired registration. FML

#21263040
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18336) - you deserved it (1617)

On 09/22/2014 at 10:25am - misc - by willconqueror1 - United States

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand in his boxers, he stands up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML

#868136
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18324) - you deserved it (100343)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by cdoyle - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving home and stopped at a light. A cute guy in the truck ahead of me waved me forward and told me to roll down my window. It was the first time a cute guy had talked to me in a while so I was pretty excited. He told me to turn my lights on. FML

#7697046
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18323) - you deserved it (8983)

On 01/30/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my company announced a new name. They also announced new coffee mugs with the name on them. They've not announced raises in over 3 years. FML

#19324778
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18319) - you deserved it (1862)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:17am - work - by glens - United States

Today, I was walking down the street with my acoustic guitar on my back. I saw a girl that I like coming down the opposite way, so I decided to play my guitar to try and impress her. I started to tune it quickly, but while I wasn't paying attention, I ran into a pole. Now my guitar is cracked. FML

#740742
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18318) - you deserved it (73439)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a wedding. After videotaping the ceremony for a few minutes, my memory was full. I went to delete another video. I accidentally played the loudest video I had. No one was looking at the bride or groom anymore. FML

#19722666
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18319) - you deserved it (8360)

On 06/02/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by dream1334 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML

#6838088
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18317) - you deserved it (3459)

On 12/19/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by omglifee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was feeling really stressed so I bought some nice stress relieving lotion. When I got home, I took it out of the bag and accidentally dropped it (not realizing it was made of glass). The bottle shattered into pieces and I even cut my finger on one piece. So much for relieving stress. FML

#8597104
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18316) - you deserved it (3919)

On 02/23/2010 at 7:56pm - health - by Stress (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18313) - you deserved it (37069)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was debating if I actually do talk to myself. I was having this conversation with myself. FML

#19236548
96 comments

Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML

#19514784
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18312) - you deserved it (3674)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by leprechaun23 - United States (Ohio)



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