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Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was, when I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML

#20057573
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18896) - you deserved it (3578)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:34pm - animals - by badwolf (man) - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Despite all my attempts to explain that he's wrong, he is totally convinced that my genitals have diabetes. This guy is going to be such a great father to our kids. FML

#19942107
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18894) - you deserved it (5585)

On 07/15/2012 at 5:52pm - health - by Tori (woman) - Australia

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

#20399692
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18894) - you deserved it (2002)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:20pm - misc - by theslutmuncher (man) - Germany (Sachsen-Anhalt)

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18889) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML

#11892706
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18886) - you deserved it (60070)

On 07/15/2010 at 2:53am - love - by BambooLove (woman) - United States

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

#19620502
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18886) - you deserved it (2043)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

#20129779
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18885) - you deserved it (2978)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm - animals - by buccaneer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML

#6433448
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18884) - you deserved it (8248)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

#8409963
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18883) - you deserved it (3510)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:08pm - love - by gp28 - United States

Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML

#20063555
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18883) - you deserved it (2539)

On 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm - work - by me - United States

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

#6945268
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18882) - you deserved it (2843)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got fired from a job that I've had for four days for being too "secretive." Apparently, I was leaning over my notebook so that my boss couldn't stand behind me and read what I was writing. The email literally said I was "being too sneaky". They were work notes. FML

#20132367
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18878) - you deserved it (1452)

On 10/25/2012 at 2:59am - work - by TheHarvardian (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went on a date with a man I met on Halloween. It appears that his mullet wasn't actually part of his costume. FML

#6133031
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18877) - you deserved it (6462)

On 11/03/2009 at 9:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)



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