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Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML

#61
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18874) - you deserved it (54538)

On 10/26/2008 at 12:04pm - work - by Shameonme - Morocco

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

#4464
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18873) - you deserved it (4234)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to get a scratch off lottery ticket, and the dude in front of me got the same one I was going to get. He won 500 dollars. I got 2 bucks. FML

#1615
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18873) - you deserved it (2243)

On 01/18/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by steveinnewsoh - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dorm had a mandatory meeting about body image. I went to the meeting and left feeling all good about myself. As soon as I got back to my room, my favorite jeans ripped right across my butt. FML

#8859688
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18873) - you deserved it (4178)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by shortiem (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML

#14492583
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18868) - you deserved it (22604)

On 01/07/2011 at 12:46am - health - by biscuit (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML

#833140
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18867) - you deserved it (150130)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:42am - money - by brhorton02 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML

#19218183
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18866) - you deserved it (5644)

On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - health - by wtbfiber (man) - United States

Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML

#20103084
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18865) - you deserved it (1662)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by sharky (man) - United States

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

#20058701
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18855) - you deserved it (1394)

On 09/05/2012 at 10:06am - health - by needtoscratch (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18852) - you deserved it (3152)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

#19555079
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18851) - you deserved it (3716)

On 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML

#20082065
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18850) - you deserved it (1633)

On 09/21/2012 at 12:22pm - misc - by hopelesscollegestudent - Canada

Today, I bid on an item on eBay, only to find the exact item I wanted later while out in the city. I bought it, assuming I would be outbid, as always. Nope. FML



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