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Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had it off. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML

#6126776
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18447) - you deserved it (3603)

On 11/02/2009 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

#20159578
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18446) - you deserved it (5780)

On 11/11/2012 at 9:16pm - love - by x (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at college, I found a lanyard with some keys and a YMCA member's card attached. Hoping to find contact details, I googled the name on the back of the card, just in time for him to return and see me looking through his Facebook profile like some kind of stalker. FML

#17760345
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18445) - you deserved it (11241)

On 09/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that I have been studying for the wrong final exam. One more hour until the test. FML

#10666872
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18444) - you deserved it (32433)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:01am - love - by finalssuck - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

#20159898
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18444) - you deserved it (1502)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML

#20071743
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18444) - you deserved it (1236)

On 09/14/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by thefuckman (man) - United States

Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

#5836
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18442) - you deserved it (13021)

On 02/02/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by wtf - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was informed that one of my store managers does a "great" impression of me. No one will tell me what it is, but apparently it's really funny. FML

#19416398
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18441) - you deserved it (2091)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:09am - work - by mockable (woman) - United States

Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML

#3161
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18438) - you deserved it (1726)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by flying solo - United States (California)

Today, while driving my car near a farm, I hit a man on the side of the road. I started freaking out and got out of the car to help him. It was then that I found out that I'd hit a scarecrow. FML

#19457431
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18438) - you deserved it (6303)

On 04/12/2012 at 7:53pm - misc - by questionmark707 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my neighbor has been watching my husband and I have sex for the 2 years we've been married. He slaps his sausage and smokes 5 cigarettes while he watches. FML

#6656855
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18436) - you deserved it (4762)

On 12/07/2009 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by niquey62307 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

#11548771
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18434) - you deserved it (25085)

On 06/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by Tp (woman) - United States (Texas)



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