Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had the contraceptive implant removed from my arm after having had it in for three years. I was one of the unlucky people whose body sticks to it. It took half an hour to cut and pull a tiny little stick out of my arm. FML

#19954412
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12858) - you deserved it (1578)

On 07/18/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Darlington)

Today, I changed the C on my report card into a B so that I wouldn't get in trouble with my parents. I spent the entire day perfecting the B's positioning and cut exactly around the edges of the size 10 font and sliced my finger in the process. Turns out, I'm still grounded for getting a B. FML

Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML

#238
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12856) - you deserved it (58172)

On 11/07/2008 at 12:47am - misc - by alice5000 - Sent from mobile version

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12857) - you deserved it (207905)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, I found out that I drunkenly texted my boss yesterday asking for nude pictures. He sent them. I'm afraid to go to work tomorrow. FML

#12967216
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12857) - you deserved it (32810)

On 09/08/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by WTF?!?! - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent my entire paycheck on a new summer wardrobe. I then left my shopping bags on the train. FML

#19925066
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12856) - you deserved it (29790)

On 07/11/2012 at 8:02pm - money - by Ashley - United States (New York)

Today, I thought it would have been funny to cut off my friend's rat-tail. He thought it would be funny to put a brick through my windshield. FML

#4832941
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12855) - you deserved it (99141)

On 08/26/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

#2645641
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12853) - you deserved it (36858)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife made my hand bleed by stabbing it with a fork. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

#19595631
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12853) - you deserved it (25999) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by Mouhahaa (man) - France

Today, I was unbearably hungry, so I went to Wendy's, bought myself a Baconator and took it outside to eat on the patio. One bite in, I went back to grab a few napkins. Within seconds of my departure, a seagull snatched it up. FML

#11240102
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12850) - you deserved it (36943)

On 06/16/2010 at 12:28pm - misc - by theorifice (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML

#4912143
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12849) - you deserved it (39729)

On 08/29/2009 at 6:58pm - misc - by deven (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as I often do, I had a shag in my old car. I am 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we are still living at our parents' house. FML

#390
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12845) - you deserved it (8160)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:26pm - misc - by niii - Sent from mobile version



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: