Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML

#1529
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20025) - you deserved it (7754)

On 01/18/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by zuut - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20026) - you deserved it (41721)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

#20189404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20024) - you deserved it (1778)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML

#254929
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20024) - you deserved it (50165)

On 03/09/2009 at 8:26pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the only one that became aroused while looking at me in my sexy Halloween costume was my dog. FML

#13650212
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20020) - you deserved it (11307)

On 10/30/2010 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Shelly - United States (Florida)

Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

#19626293
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20019) - you deserved it (1635)

On 05/15/2012 at 6:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I slipped and sprained my ankle while shopping for a present for my husband, who later came home and tripped over my elevated leg, hurting my ankle again. Now I have an excruciating sprain, and a spouse who's furious at me because "I shouldn't have tried to surprise him." FML

#13502195
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20016) - you deserved it (2365)

On 10/18/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, some construction workers kept going in and out the door next to my cubicle. They decided it would be easier to just prop the door open for the next hour. It's 20 degrees outside, and I'm wearing a dress. FML

#14543942
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20015) - you deserved it (6108)

On 01/11/2011 at 9:45am - work - by bitty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was talking to my dad and told him that I want to be a hotel maid, hoping that he would tell me "You can do better, you're smart, etc." Instead he said, "I'm glad you finally have a goal that you can actually achieve." FML

#15362432
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20013) - you deserved it (29769)

On 03/18/2011 at 1:32am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss insisted that we get in the holiday mood by putting up lights, playing Christmas music, and wearing bells on our uniforms. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I can't even have a tinkle without full-blown jingling. FML

#18247729
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20013) - you deserved it (2352)

On 11/14/2011 at 4:53pm - work - by unhappyelf - United States

Today, I found out that my mom doesn't know my phone number, but she does know the names of both of David Hasselhoff's daughters. FML

#14102213
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20012) - you deserved it (3437)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML

#19880160
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20011) - you deserved it (3647)

On 07/02/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by furious at five in the morning (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

#18513189
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20009) - you deserved it (25213)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: