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Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24520) - you deserved it (34644)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

#21435915
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24520) - you deserved it (2930)

On 07/03/2015 at 3:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my dad and I were in the car when a rabbit scurried across the road, just missing us. My dad turned and said to me, "Well, it's good we didn't hit him. He gets to live another day." I then looked in the rear view mirror to see the rabbit running away from the cross traffic, only to be hit by the car behind us. FML

#9102050
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24519) - you deserved it (3256)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:44pm - misc - by bunnylover (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24518) - you deserved it (6197)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML

#20032360
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24517) - you deserved it (5936)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:06pm - health - by stupidbullcrêpe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months was showing me his new phone. He accidentally opened his gallery, which contains 3 photos: one of his motorcycle, one of his new game console, and a naked photo of his ex. FML

#21436861
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24517) - you deserved it (1832)

On 07/05/2015 at 3:18pm - love - by wellthatsucks - United States

Today, after I requested a sick day, a very close co-worker texted her boyfriend that I'm a bitch for pretending to have the same rare illness that she recently suffered. She said it was unlikely, disrespectful and unfair that I didn't even look sick. I know this because she texted me instead. FML

#20037042
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24515) - you deserved it (2601)

On 08/23/2012 at 3:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

#18225907
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24513) - you deserved it (2596)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML

#18271256
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24513) - you deserved it (2195)

On 11/17/2011 at 7:43am - misc - by leaf hater - United States

Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML

#10838070
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24512) - you deserved it (6228)

On 05/29/2010 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, my elderly dad once again asked me to make a reservation at a restaurant for him and a younger woman he's been seeing. Meanwhile, I haven't had anything even approaching a real date in over a decade. FML

#21386446
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24512) - you deserved it (3193)

On 04/02/2015 at 10:19am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I turned on an old radio I haven't used for a long time and a pack of very small spiders came rushing out of the speakers when I turned up the volume. Guess they didn't like the groove. FML

Today, I went to a job interview, and my father in law's house. As soon as I got home I went to the bathroom and noticed my bloody pantyliner had fallen out at one of these places. I don't know which one is worse. FML

#21428990
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24512) - you deserved it (2576)

On 06/20/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by organizse - United States (Texas)



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