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Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere I say "you're my favorite!". Now I'm sitting here talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML

#1176288
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12781) - you deserved it (108886)

On 04/20/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Damnlife123 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML

#2201893
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12778) - you deserved it (57242)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by onlyme (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML

#19773709
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12770) - you deserved it (6442)

On 06/11/2012 at 10:40pm - animals - by Anon127 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at the supermarket everybody was staring at me. After ten minutes, I realized that my umbrella was still open. FML

#708
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12770) - you deserved it (14215)

On 01/05/2009 at 5:45am - misc - by didi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper would think I have a love life. FML

#7161504
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12767) - you deserved it (27943)

On 01/05/2010 at 9:06am - love - by PJ (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML

#20103809
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12767) - you deserved it (1344)

On 10/06/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Joey - United States (Nevada)

Today, I backed my car into a parked car in a parking lot. Not only did I back into a parked car, but it was the ONLY parked car there. FML

#991895
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12766) - you deserved it (64079)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

#5876001
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12764) - you deserved it (2105)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:29am - intimacy - by Ignitingmylightsaber (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I decided to put my computer on slideshow mode. Did you know that hidden files are also read when you put slideshow on? I discovered this, as did my entire family, when my naked girlfriend appeared on the screen. FML

#549
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12760) - you deserved it (8155)

On 12/19/2008 at 12:17am - misc - by Mr Hawks - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML

#20034503
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12758) - you deserved it (6291)

On 08/21/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by mr_flarpin (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML

#16284228
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12754) - you deserved it (29482)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, I realized my acne looks like star constellations. I've already found the Little Dipper on my left cheek. FML

#20063395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12747) - you deserved it (1311)

On 09/08/2012 at 4:32pm - health - by balletteacher - United States

Today, I found out what a bottle of regurgitated wine looks like on white bedsheets. FML

#19325916
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12746) - you deserved it (8207)

On 03/22/2012 at 10:59am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



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