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Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

#20017341
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23196) - you deserved it (1927)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML

#11811158
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23192) - you deserved it (5008)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML

#17228318
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23190) - you deserved it (14149)

On 07/23/2011 at 10:18am - kids - by lauramarie (woman) - Canada

Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML

#19430484
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23188) - you deserved it (4779)

On 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML

#17056931
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23183) - you deserved it (14375)

On 07/10/2011 at 7:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I let my on-again, off-again boyfriend spend the night. For months we had been fighting about his new flame. After he convinced me that they are no longer an item, we had the most mind-blowing sex then we fell asleep. I awoke to him moaning her name. Followed by pelvic thrusts. FML

#2940444
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23182) - you deserved it (50012)

On 06/16/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw a father and son playing football in a car park when I was on my way to work. The ball rolled towards me so feeling nice I kicked it back to them. Turns out it went straight through their car window. FML

#18044190
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23182) - you deserved it (6040)

On 10/22/2011 at 4:34am - misc - by tom0441 - Reserved

Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML

#18208343
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23182) - you deserved it (5457)

On 11/10/2011 at 6:16am - misc - by Sack - United Kingdom

Today, I used a man's shirt as a pillowcase and sprayed it with cologne so I wouldn't feel alone in the night. FML

#19954113
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23181) - you deserved it (7675)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:21am - love - by MaeMoss (woman) - United States

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML

#19134075
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23177) - you deserved it (2827)

On 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by kohler9790 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents don't know the difference between a foreign person and a deaf person. They've been yelling at our exchange student for the past 2 days. FML

#20034373
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23174) - you deserved it (1504)

On 08/21/2012 at 7:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I received an e-mail from the Unemployment Department saying they had a job referral for me. After excitedly reading the description, I realised it was the job I'd just been fired from (at a much higher pay). If I don't go through the application process, I will be denied my unemployment. FML

#8862243
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23173) - you deserved it (2188)

On 03/06/2010 at 2:28am - work - by AlyssaBC (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML

#20127982
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23170) - you deserved it (1523)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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