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Today, I decided to start jogging to keep fit. I was passed about ten times by the same car, carrying four bozos whose vocabulary consisted only of, "TITTIES!" and copious amounts of giggling. FML

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

#6844162
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25919) - you deserved it (11162)

On 12/20/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by kat, ACT - United States

Today, while at work I went to use the public restroom because I had a severe case of diarrhea. All went well until the timed sensor lights went off and I couldn't leave my stall to get them back on. I sat there for thirty minutes in pure darkness. FML

#7105226
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25919) - you deserved it (3736)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:24pm - work - by Bathroom Problems - France

Today, I drank a beer that I thought was mine, it wasn't and someone had put out their cigarette in it. FML

#757
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (11286)

On 11/15/2008 at 10:36pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wrote the girl I love a long, gushy letter to convince her to be with me instead of her abusive ex. Later on, I asked her what she thought. She said she can't read cursive. She chose the ex. FML

#20046039
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25919) - you deserved it (4164)

On 08/28/2012 at 10:16am - love - by tutusaurus - United States (California)

Today, I broke my wrist because a Nutella glass fell on it after I opened the cupboard. FML

#7478181
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25916) - you deserved it (4757)

On 01/21/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by diorlove - Sent from mobile version

Today, thinking I was alone in my house, I went downstairs in my underwear, singing at the top of my voice. I strutted into the kitchen to find two middle-aged men I'd never seen before sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. Turns out they will be painting our house for the next two weeks. FML

#20077635
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25914) - you deserved it (4249)

On 09/18/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

#13024649
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/12/2010 at 8:08pm - misc - by tenthousandspoon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

#17678479
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25909) - you deserved it (4685)

On 09/06/2011 at 4:06am - work - by Shamed - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by text at 1:30 am because he didn't want to give me "the dread of answering a phone call." When I asked him for an explanation, his reply was, "For what?" FML

#19039937
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25909) - you deserved it (2543)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:59am - love - by 1.30am (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, trying to make a good impression and be helpful, I volunteered to look after my manager's cat while she moves house. The cat hasn't stopped meowing since he got here this evening, it's now 4 am and I have work in the morning. FML

#17064042
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25908) - you deserved it (6533)

On 07/11/2011 at 6:53am - work - by leahneedssleep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML

#17643639
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25907) - you deserved it (4188)

On 09/02/2011 at 10:56am - animals - by PghSportsNation - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

#21382528
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25907) - you deserved it (5788)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:19pm - work - by screwedupfuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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