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Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML

#19954177
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19258) - you deserved it (5848)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:41am - work - by butterball (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, a work colleague announced that she is organising a bit of a party. She says, in front of everyone, that I'm not invited to "avoid ruining the vibe". FML

#1030
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19256) - you deserved it (2143)

On 01/13/2009 at 11:43am - work - by Plush - Sent from mobile version

Today, I rolled over a curb and bent one of the signs that read "Please Park Here After Your Road Test," at the DMV, because my foot slipped off the brake just before I put the car in park, which would've ended my Test. The first words out of the examiner's mouth were, "Well you would've passed." FML

#121657
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19256) - you deserved it (27434)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:02am - misc - by ouagadougou (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML

#8902353
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19255) - you deserved it (2138)

On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

#18967284
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19256) - you deserved it (2345)

On 02/01/2012 at 7:21am - misc - by JohhnyKeroscene - United States

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

#20129867
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19255) - you deserved it (3313)

On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother had 'the talk' with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

#5784290
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19247) - you deserved it (1789)

On 10/11/2009 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

#19490563
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19247) - you deserved it (3595)

On 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm - health - by 352 - United States

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

#20454855
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19246) - you deserved it (39162)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML

#13091874
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19243) - you deserved it (8527)

On 09/17/2010 at 10:34pm - misc - by muffins69 (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was sick, so I emailed my co-workers with a list of my hours, asking if anyone would be willing to cover them for me. I only got one hour covered, and that was during a day I don't even work. FML

#19026476
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19242) - you deserved it (2282)

On 02/08/2012 at 1:46pm - work - by Girl With a Cold (woman) -

Today, I was at a gas station when the cash register made a sound effect similar to one from Sonic the Hedgehog, and I pointed this out. The cashier then saw fit to go on a rant about how I need to stop focusing on video games, and get a life and a girlfriend. FML

#20006832
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19242) - you deserved it (6245)

On 08/07/2012 at 12:16am - misc - by Marcowalker95 - United States (California)

Today, I was headed on vacation with my family. On the way, our trailer tire blew out. Because the trailer was tilted from the flat tire, the door would not open to get the spare. After breaking the window to get the spare and putting it on, the spare blew out. FML

#19966487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19242) - you deserved it (1614)

On 07/21/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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