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Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML

#19381776
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23756) - you deserved it (10371)

On 03/31/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML

#19969409
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23755) - you deserved it (2883)

On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I am contemplating ending my relationship of 6 years. My boyfriend is too busy playing with a plastic guitar to listen. FML

#2469
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23753) - you deserved it (3507)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:09pm - love - by fyou - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

#20595392
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23753) - you deserved it (42721)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:01am - money - by LoLWut?? nd Why?? - United States

Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML

#6733477
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23752) - you deserved it (6130)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by soy_un_perderdor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the student council gave us our senior class t-shirts. Our theme this year is "Striving for Excellence." Excellence was misspelled. FML

#17975485
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23752) - you deserved it (2647)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:27pm - misc - by brit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML

#20767127
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23752) - you deserved it (46960)

On 07/06/2013 at 2:23pm - money - by goodbye sweet internet (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed. FML

#21108537
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23751) - you deserved it (38300)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by BabyButt - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

#20002229
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23750) - you deserved it (3187)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML

#20445318
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23750) - you deserved it (1858)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:50pm - misc - by HatedGrandson - United States

Today, I woke up to all 4 of my wheels stolen from my car. The thieves were kind enough to leave the car resting on wooden blocks and bricks. FML

#14347909
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23749) - you deserved it (2213)

On 12/26/2010 at 6:36pm - misc - by JennieA -

Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML

#19417641
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23749) - you deserved it (5932)

On 04/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by nobrows (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML

#3706736
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23748) - you deserved it (43955)

On 07/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by greek_dancer (woman) - United States



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