Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I received a package in the mail. It was a workout and weight-loss plan that I ordered last week. I finished an entire pizza and pint of ice-cream as I read the guidelines. FML

Today, I tried to set up my brand new washer and dryer. How hard can it be, right? After cutting my hand in 3 places on the dryer vent, I finished it off with electrocuting myself. So much for being a domestic goddess. FML

#6014859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21031) - you deserved it (9044)

On 10/26/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by annie00016 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, we got our family pictures back from the printers. I complained to my mom about the ones she picked. "Oh don't worry," she said. "I had them photoshop out your gut." I was talking about my smile. FML

#7292547
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21030) - you deserved it (3267)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by Me (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I had eight teeth removed in preparation for getting my braces fitted. My winter break will now consists of barely being able to sleep or eat, tasting blood, and looking like a goofy-ass chipmunk. FML

#19900081
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21030) - you deserved it (2040)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by Julie is in pain (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally found out what the horrible smell at work was. A rat had decided to make its home in our emergency exit sign and had been fried by the electricity. I now have to fix this. Hello scorched dead rat. FML

#19569212
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21026) - you deserved it (1760)

On 05/03/2012 at 5:17pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML

#20397555
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21024) - you deserved it (2709)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:01am - love - by Hit-and-Run - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

#17974587
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21023) - you deserved it (2466)

On 10/13/2011 at 11:55am - animals - by Doglover - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I had to create a perfect society in English class; the best society has their grade go up a full letter. After tons of preparation and thinking, I lost to an island made only of cheese. FML

#20200774
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21023) - you deserved it (1934)

On 12/11/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by JPPUDLY (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21022) - you deserved it (5677)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tripped over my own shoelace after explaining to my boyfriend that my shoes being untied were good luck for me. He then took that as the grand opportunity to tell me that we were breaking up. FML

#2742
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21018) - you deserved it (6726)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:54pm - love - by CaptainSosuke - United States (California)

Today, the summer camp I work at had its annual scavenger hunt, wherein the counselors hide and the kids look for us. It was my first year there, so some of my colleagues showed me the "best hiding spot." Two hours later, still undiscovered, I realized they just wanted to get rid of me. FML

#20013942
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21018) - you deserved it (2530)

On 08/10/2012 at 6:44pm - misc - by nalathelionqueen (woman) - United States (California)

Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML

#8169403
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21018) - you deserved it (2968)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

#19366084
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21017) - you deserved it (1554)

On 03/28/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by deadgrass (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: