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Today, I saw my picture in an architecture magazine. I'm not an architect. I was walking up a flight of "magnificently built" stairs as my skirt lifted to show an absence of underwear. FML

#17267205
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18215) - you deserved it (34229)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by crotchshothottie - United States

Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML

#10922943
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18214) - you deserved it (27361)

On 06/02/2010 at 5:31pm - health - by Official_Person (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to an audition for a play. The casting director thanked me for my time, but told me they would pass because I had "the emotional range of a turnip." FML

#12812142
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18213) - you deserved it (6382)

On 08/29/2010 at 10:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18213) - you deserved it (29256)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18212) - you deserved it (38463)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

#21219985
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18213) - you deserved it (48150)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:05am - animals - by fuckendog (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized for the last year that my husband has been home from Iraq, I haven't gotten more than a few hours of sleep at night. Not because he gets nightmares, but because he now snores so loud that the pets sleep at the other end of the house to get rest. FML

#8190091
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18211) - you deserved it (2692)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by xetsa - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realised that I only get dandruff when I'm stressed about having dandruff. Which is whenever I have dandruff. FML

#19400366
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18211) - you deserved it (3658)

On 04/03/2012 at 10:16am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to give my boyfriend an enema. FML

#20038693
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18211) - you deserved it (2424)

On 08/24/2012 at 1:21am - health - by coop7291 - United States

Today, I spent 6 hours on an airplane next to an alcoholic Pink Floyd fanatic. I must've drifted off because when I took a trip to the bathroom I noticed that my pant leg that had been closest to the drunk man was soaking wet. I returned to my seat. He was on his side, facing me. I smelt the wet spot. Not beer. FML

#1452
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18210) - you deserved it (1499)

On 01/17/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by millzee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was laundry day. After my fifth and final load, I noticed I never added any laundry detergent. FML

#18239107
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18210) - you deserved it (20067)

On 11/13/2011 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, when I saw a big box that looked like a playstation, I got really excited and my parents were there and everything looked like it really was something big, so I start to open the wrapper and surprise... it was a lamp. FML

#759
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18209) - you deserved it (5933)

On 12/30/2008 at 3:30pm - money - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that my roommate doesn't actually know a damn thing about cooking. I'm suffering the effects of him telling me that chicken is best eaten medium-rare. FML

#19404145
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18207) - you deserved it (10984)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Ralph - United States (North Carolina)



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