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Today, I figured out it's the first time my roommate has done the dishes after living together an entire year, but I got to clean up the bubble waterfall that came pouring out of the dishwasher because she couldn't figure out where the detergent was supposed to go. FML

#9064267
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15819) - you deserved it (1888)

On 03/14/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by kkbb - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML

#20443596
151 comments

Today, it's my birthday. I spent $100 on myself, using it to set up an account so that my son can call me from jail. FML

#20117850
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15815) - you deserved it (2383)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:10am - kids - by Reihna (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

#12612052
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15814) - you deserved it (26995)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by roflcopter (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I've now received my 73rd email in two days about my masters group project on policy recommendations for security reform. One group member has helpfully rewritten everything, and our project is now titled "Zeus's Earthly Kingdom." It's due today. FML

#19526549
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15814) - you deserved it (2219)

On 04/25/2012 at 9:25am - work - by IHateGroupProjects (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, not only does my cat rabidly attack my face if I don't let him sleep on my pillow, but he snores too. FML

#19874038
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15814) - you deserved it (4498)

On 07/01/2012 at 12:30am - animals - by emi -

Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML

#19562059
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15813) - you deserved it (3992)

On 05/02/2012 at 2:16am - love - by muddled (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15809) - you deserved it (23074)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, I went to the hair salon. When I got home, my three-year-old daughter told me I looked like Dora the Explorer. FML

#19635267
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15809) - you deserved it (3732)

On 05/17/2012 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

#4468177
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15807) - you deserved it (38792)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:49am - misc - by Bambi (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15804) - you deserved it (66122)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

#14403939
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15804) - you deserved it (6428)

On 12/31/2010 at 1:13am - misc - by brenami (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15801) - you deserved it (1275)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)



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